(Closed) Hiring a friend as your planner?

posted 10 years ago in Beehive
Post # 3
596 posts
Busy bee

i had one of my best friends act as my day of coordinator for my wedding and it worked out great!  there were only 40 people and i provided very detailed notes and timelines for her so that she just had to keep track of timing and keep an eye on details.  she still managed to eat, dance, socialize with her hubby and have a great time.  also, being that she is my best friend, she would do anything to make sure that i had fun at my wedding without having to worry about the nitty gritty things that she could handle.

that being said, it depends on how you set the expectation with your friend.  how close are you guys?  does she expect any compensation or is the understanding that she will be doing this for free?  would you expect her to perform in the same capacity as someone you paid $2300 for?  would she resent you for expecting so much from her when she is doing this for free, and spending valuable time with you when she could be working with a paying bride?

it really depends.  i don’t have any answers for you, but hopefully i’ve given you some food for thought!

Post # 4
17 posts
  • Wedding: October 2008

Our DOC is a good friend, and we’re totally thrilled about it. She’s doing it as our wedding gift, which was fantastic of her.

The big bonuses for using our friend are that she knows us, knows our style, knows what we will/will not want to be bothered with on the big day, and she knows most of our family/friends, so if anyone needs anything, she’s got more resources than we could possibly provide to a DOC that we only knew professionally. 

The one negative we had was that she had no real planning experience, but you’ve got that, so I’d say go for it!  Good luck!

Post # 5
67 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I think it also depends on the level of responsibility. How many guests are you expecting? What are your expectations for your friend as the coordinator?

One of my FI’s oldest and best friends does wedding planning on the side. She also planned her own wedding. She offered to be our coordinator as her wedding gift to us. At first, like you, I was overjoyed at her generosity (and the prospect of saving $$). However, the more I thought about it, the more worried I became. Our wedding will be 250 guests and I expect that our coordinator will be running around quite a bit the day of. I didn’t want our friend to feel stressed and frazzled on the big day. I wanted her to enjoy herself. Also, because she is more my FI’s friend than mine and because she’s doing this out of the goodness of her heart, I knew I would feel bad making her run around town doing wedding errands.

Obviously I’m telling you the negative stuff. There are a lot of positives, which I think have been highlighted wonderfully by the above posters. Good luck!

Post # 6
471 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2008


I agree with other posters that it definitely depends on the level of responsibility..Is the job high risk or low risk? 

I always say look at the negatives and see if the worst case scenario is worth the positives that can come about. I know it sounds awfully pessimistic, but what if something didn’t work out? Would that put a strain on your personal relationship with her?

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