Post # 1
So I’m lucky enough to have parents who are covering most of our wedding costs, but they have cut a TON of corners. We are three months to the day away from the wedding and we have yet to have food, photography, alchohol and bridesmaids dresses. So pretty much all of the huge stuff. My dad is one of the cheapest people you will ever meet and Im getting extremely frusterated because we will find a good guy to do what ever it is we need and all my dad can think about is “I know i can get this cheaper”. Example: We are having an italian themed wedding. We go to this mans italian restaurant where he gives us all a free meal and goes over prices. His dish includes: 1pasta, 1meat, 1starch, 1salad, choice of 3 different dressings, and all bread. This is all or $10 per person. I thought this was great! My dad….well of course he thinks its crazy and we need something cheaper!
Our wedding budget???? I HAVE NO IDEA!!!!! Ive asked my father SO many times what are we spending? He never has an answer. I dont mind being on a strict budget but PLEASE, GIVE ONE! From what im seeing its going around $1500, for 130-150 people! Can you say IMPOSSIBLE?????
If you havent read any of my other posts, I’ve already had to return a dress I fell in love with because my father said it was too expensive. (My mother bought it, then agreed with my dad a week later) I was crushed but did find a great steal on another beutiful dress. (That im paying for) My parents have controlled this entire wedding so far.
I know, I know, Im going to get alot of responses saying “wait to get married. Pay for it on your own” Well me and my Fiance have been together for 4 years almost and we already have a son who will be 2 a month after the wedding. I am a full time college student and my Fiance works lots of over time to make ends meet. We are determined to make our little family have everything we need. Maybe its a pride thing but Ive always been raised that you work for the things you need. So its time to get married now. I dont want our little boy remembering his parents wedding.
(Sorry this is so long) Now onto the photography. This is scaring the hell out of me. Now my dad wants to hire a photographer from our local community college to do the wedding shots. Talk about SCARY! My dad is a photographer on the side and I feel he wouldnt ever do “student quality photography” at anyone elses wedding so why does mine have to have it???? Im not saying I couldnt luck out and find a very talented young photographer but why chance it at my wedding???? My dad is planning to do the editing but it still scares me so much. This whole wedding scares me. Im feeling its just gonna look tacky. My father makes good money. They dont live in a brand new house and he seems to always have a enough money to get what he needs. My mom just doesnt say anything or stick up for me at all. Shes kinda the submitive wife.
Ok, I feel im just rambling now. I think you see where this is kinda going. Any advice anyone???? I appriciate it guys!!
Post # 3
I’m sorry! I’m super cheap too, but that’s pretty ridiculous! I WISH I could find a place that would give me all that for $10/person! That’s an amazing deal! I mean, unless you go to McDonalds, I don’t think you are going to find anything cheaper.
As far as photographers go, you could get lucky at the community college, or maybe seue if the teacher will do it. I belong to a photog club in Baltimore and one of our members teaches at a local community college. She was a professional photojournalist that has now retired. Most of our members are retired professionals that do the most amazing work! See if you have a local photog club, you may be able to find someone who will cut you a break but still do a wonderful job. And if your dad is going to do all of the editing, you really just need someone to come in for the day, so that should be a lot cheaper.
I think that before you do anything else, you need to make sure you get a final number from your parents. Explain to them that prices have changed since they got married (my mom thought that $3,000 was enough, and I could have what was leftover!). Let them know that not knowing what the budget is makes it impossible for you to do anything at all and is really stressing you out! You appreciate that they are helping you out and you aren’t trying to seem ungrateful, but the fact of the matter is you need to know a final answer.
Hope that helps!! Good luck!!!
Post # 4
omg. I would want to scream if I were you right now!!!
My parents helped us out with our wedding budget a lot, but they didn’t actually give us a budget to work with. It was totally frustrating, though I am thankful for their help.
On the photographer front… tell your dad he is wrong wrong WRONG WRONG. Do not skimp on the photographer!!!
In a couple months after the wedding, all you will have left are the memories…and the photos!! If you skimp on the whole wedding and then skimp on the photographer, do you realize what the wedding photos will probably look like?
I’m married already, and I tried to save by hiring a new photographer myself. She did a pretty decent job and I am satisfied…but I never got to have any of those cool, artsy photos that they show on so many of the wedding blogs.
I was recently in a friend’s wedding who didn’t have a wedding nearly as lovely as mine, but she spent about twice as much on the photographer… Well, her wedding looks like a million bucks in the photos!
Do whatever you have to…drug your dad if you must, but do not get a cheap photographer!
Post # 5
I just wanted to throw my tidbit in. As I am a wedding photographer I’m a little bias, but as a bride planning a wedding on a tiny tiny wedding budget. A good photographer can make a $3K wedding look like a $10k wedding where as a bad photographer can make a $10k wedding look like a $1500 wedding. Wedding photography is a tough business and is very stressful. So hiring someone who is not familiar with shooting them is you are really taking your chances even if they are a good photographer in general. I tell your dad, very diplomatically, that photography is important to you, ask him for a budget range and the research who you can find in your budget. We have also set up registry for our brides so some of their guest could gift some of the wedding photo investment.
As a bride we understand the need to keep costs low. I can’t believe your dad thinks $10 a person for that meal is to expensive!!!! But I would never sacrifice the photos. This is what you will have to look back on and to pass down to your kids.
Post # 6
If your dad won’t budge on the photographer, I have seen college level photographers do an amazing job at weddings!! Sometimes the cheaper photographers do a better job than some other pros. How long has the college photog been shooting for? Have they done weddings before? Can you see a portfolio online or in person? Get his or her name & number from your dad & call to meet with them. You may be suprised at their quality! If they perhaps have a website, or even a facebook/myspace or flickr album you can post the link if you’d like opinions on their quality.
On the other hand, I’ve seen cheap photog’s pictures turn out bad, you hear where the photos are all blurry or they crop out people’s heads, etc. So it can go either way, see if you can see that photog’s work & go from there. To me, photography is very important & I wouldn’t get anyone who didn’t know what they were doing, even if it was free.
Do you have something set aside so that if you wanted to “upgrade” a certain aspect of your wedding, you could do that? Could you talk with your mom about budget?
Also http://www.debshops.com offers 15% off dresses if you’re using them in a wedding, if you buy 3 or more. Just found that out yesterday :).
Post # 7
Why don’t you have your ceremony and have a cake and punch reception? I know its not what you want to hear, but if you don’t have the money and your parents are giving you an amount that you can’t throw a full out reception, there’s not much you can do. Your parents are being generous even if you also feel they are being tight with money.