(Closed) His daughter first?!?!? Really?

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: Am I :
    a baby? : (32 votes)
    20 %
    justifies in my angst? : (43 votes)
    26 %
    Shut up and wait your turn!!! : (89 votes)
    54 %
  • Post # 17
    Member
    3981 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    @Megan316: Uhm, I am 21. I know what it takes to make a relationship work. Fi and I have been together for 4 1/2 years and have made it work every single day.

    Post # 18
    Member
    124 posts
    Blushing bee

    Darling, wait until its your turn… Sure, wallow in self pity i fyou want, wallow until you are dry and have nothing else to do but feel better. You will realised you have a wonderful relationship, which is just a tad more important than a wedding…

    Don’t, I repeat DO NOT have a baby just because you are slightly jealoused……..

    All good things come to those who wait………. he WILL propose…

    Post # 19
    Member
    1398 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    One thing I have learned, men do everything on their own timeline. Seeing each other less than a year, I would say that you may have a little while longer to wait. Don’t worry-when he is ready, he’ll ask the question. On a side note-his daughters relationship has absolutely nothing to do with yours. It is not a competition. Don’t insinuate or verbalize any jealousy about this with your boyfriend. It just makes you look petty and that is NOT an attractive quality in a potential fiance, and will probably have the opposite effect you are looking for.

    Post # 20
    Member
    31 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    You’ve not even been together a year yet.  Give it time–if it’s meant to be it will happen.  Don’t rush him or he may resent it.

    Also–MAYBE he knew the daughters boyfriend was going to propose and didn’t want to still his thunder.  Also–I’m pretty certain I would not want to have a double wedding with my daughter.

    JUST ENJOY BEING TOGETHER.  NEITHER OF YOU ARE OLD YET Laughing

    Post # 21
    Member
    214 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I agree with Courtnee, perhaps he had an inkling that he daughter was going to be engaged and didn’t want to lessen the impact of your engagement.

    Has he been married before? If so perhaps he could be treading cautiously and has a timescale in his head that doesn’t quite match with yours. You are sure about him and he seems sure about you. Don’t stress too much, enjoy being his girlfriend for now, you know where you are headed at least.

     

    Post # 22
    Member
    2401 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    @Megan316:  I’m with you. If I got married at 21, like I had planned (after dating the guy for 3 1/2 years), I’d probably be divorced or miserable. For all those making it work at 21 or younger, good for you. For the majority of us out there, 21 is a bit too young.

    Anyways, back to the original post. I think you’re justified, but wait it out. He’s older so he isn’t in a rush. Maybe wait till daughter’s wedding is done and past and bring it up with him again.

    Post # 23
    Member
    1012 posts
    Bumble bee

    You’ve only been together a year? Cool your jets!

    Post # 24
    Member
    803 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I think PPs have a good point about him maybe knowing his daughter’s engagement was impending.  The age difference between you and his daughter is literally the same age distance between me and my sister so that’s a relationship you’ll have to be careful of.  By making sure your engagements are not competing, he’s actually helping you out a little bit with that one, even if it sucks.

    I think you should really just tell him that you don’t intend to have a baby until you’re married.  You’ll score major brownie points with him and his daughter if you bring up the fact that you’re mindful that she’s getting married soon and don’t want to steal her thunder but that you still don’t intend to have a baby until you’re married so you’ll have to think of a good timeline.

    Also agreed on the “Waiting” section of weddingbee…it’s an awesome place.  Everyone’s so supportive.

    Post # 25
    Member
    1470 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    wow she is too young and only 5 months, dont bel jealous that too fast! and you guys havent even been together a year yet either, slow down there is no rush!!!

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