Post # 1
So, last night FH and I went out to eat with one of his friends that had come in to town to visit. This friend also happens to be going to our destination wedding in May. He nonchalantly mentioned that him and another of FH’s friends decided to change the dates they stay at the resort….which I wouldn’t normally care about except that now they are crashing the majority of what was supposed to be FH and I’s honeymoon.
My wedding ceremony was scheduled on a Wednesday. We arranged it so guests arrive on Monday and stay through Friday. That was going to leave FH and I 3 nights to ourselves since we are not leaving until the Tuesday of the following week. Now, these two friends have decided to arrive on Wednesday and stay through Sunday crashing 2 of our 3 nights together.
I did not say anything at the time, because I had to digest this information. The reasoning behind the friends doing this is because it worked better for their work schedules to not take the entire week off and just come on Wednesday and stay through the weekend. These two friends are some of FH’s oldest and closest friends as they have literally been friends since middle school and grew up together, went to college together, etc.
I can’t help but feel a little upset though and a little selfish, but I am trying my best not to turn bridezilla. Any suggestions of how to handle this diplomatically?
Post # 3
I think you need to talk to your husband and agree that those last 3 nights will be just for the 2 of you. See how he feels, he might agree with you and you don’t need to worry about it!
Post # 4
Can’t you just attempt to not see them while they’re there the extra days? I’m sure they’ll understand that you don’t want to hang out while you’re on your honeymoon!
Post # 5
you can’t very well dictate to people when they can and cannot come to your Destination Wedding. Maybe you guys should switch resorts for the honeymoon to avoid guests.
Post # 6
Im kind of in the same boat. My Fiance is inviting people to come with us! See we’re going to Disney World in FL and its usually more fun with groups. It kind of sucks that hes inviting all these people to our honeymoon, but luckily, I honestly dont beleive anyone will have the money to go with us!!!!!
I guess we’ll see.
I dont have any advice, but wanted to let you know that your not alone in this kind of situation. 🙂
Post # 7
They probably do not know that the last three days are your honeymoon. I certainly would not think that if I was going to your wedding. I would bring this up to your fiance and then have him talk to them. If they are good friends they will try to avoid you those last three date or change the dates they are attending. You also have to remember that your guests are using valuable vacation time to attend your wedding—so you have to remember this is their vacation too.
Post # 8
I should have mentioned that I am having my wedding at the Coral Cove Resort in Jamaica. They call themselves a resort, but with under 20 guests rooms, I would call them more of a bed and breakfast. lol. There is no way we will not run into these guys with the place being so small…but I am crossing my fingers they will be good and give us space. These are two guys that form my FH’s wolf pack and they can get a little wild which is why I am probably a bit worried. I do plan to talk to FH more in depth on it and I think it will work out one way or another. Thanks for the comments so far!
Post # 9
I think it would bother me, but I think this is one of those things that happens with Destination Weddings. The only thing I can think of is make sure to schedule some excursions or something alone. Maybe your Fiance can say to your friends (even as a joke) “don’t be surprised if you don’t see us very much over the last 3 days, we’re on our honeymoon afterall” and then find a nice spot on the beach somewhere and make yourself scarce…
Post # 10
Unfortunately, that is the risk you take with a destination wedding. I’ve heard of this happening a lot. Just make sure you designate time for you and your Fiance. I don’t think it is that big of a deal…it’s not like they are staying in your hotel room with you two. Just do your own thing!
Post # 11
Just because they are staying longer I don’t see why this should affect your time together? I would just have your hubby say he’s glad they could make it work but that you are planning on spending some time together as a honeymoon.
Maybe you could see them a bit during the day at the beach/pool. but reserve your afternoons and evenings for the two of you?
Post # 12
We had this same issue with our Destination Wedding. In the end, we spent the four days after the wedding in Vegas with the guests and ended up going to Palm Desert a few weeks later to get some true alone time. However, I’m sure they will be respectful and I’m sure your new husband will be more than happy to spend his time alone with you.
Post # 13
Is there a way that you can switch rooms after the wedding to a more remote part of the resort? Or just talk to your Fiance and let him know that you don’t care if they stay, but he needs to remember that it is your honeymoon, not an extended boy’s weekend.
Post # 14
Talk to your fiance about having some “you time” those last three days, but if they want to get together for dinner or an outing, do it! You guys are going to be together for the rest of your lives and will have lots of opportunities to be alone – enjoy the people around you as well as each other!
Post # 15
@Atalanta: Bingo. It’s your wedding, but it’s their vacation. If they want to stay longer, they can. Just very gently explain to them that you two will be out and about alone.
Post # 16
Huge part of the reason I decided against my dream Disney World wedding – because it is totally bridezilla to tell people they can’t stay after the wedding when you’re on your honeymoon, and I wanted to be alone for it. They’ve already spent a ton of $$ on airfare, hotel, etc., so it makes sense that they’d want to make a vacay out of it, and there’s nothing you can do about it if they decide after the wedding, during your honeymoon, is the best time for that.
Of course, that doesn’t mean you have to hang out with them – I’m sure your Fiance will understand that you want to spend your honeymoon as a couple and not hanging out with friends. But running into people is going to be inevitable. There is no way to handle it or change it, that’s just one of the things you have to accept when you’re having a destination wedding.