(Closed) HIS last name. Or is it…?

posted 9 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
265 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I’m sorry, but that’s the last name HE grew up with. If you’ve decided to take it, that’s fine, but don’t make your fiance feel bad about not having a father in his life. I’m sure he already has at least a few issues about that already! I think it’s really cruel to even bring it up.


My fiance has his mother’s last name (and his grandfather’s). And I am taking it, because you know what? I want to have my HUSBAND’S last name, not some nameless dude’s who was never in his life. 


You’re a big daddy’s girl – well you chose to marry a guy who, for all intents and purposes, doesn’t have one. You need to respect his family situation and take HIS name. I somehow doubt he’d appreciate you telling him his name is not legitimate enough for you.


There’s tradition and then there’s being too unbending. Honestly, I think you’re being the latter. I know I probably come off as being harsh in this post, but I can’t stop thinking about how hurt my fiance would be if I told him I didn’t think his last name was good enough. I think you need to make your peace with it, and don’t bring it up.

Post # 4
163 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

I’m confused. It’s his last name, and your choice whether to adopt it as your own.

I can appreciate this is a touchy subject for your fiance, but I’m not sure what you are asking… it’s more than okay not to take his last name and keep your own if that’s what you’re worried about… 

Post # 5
2324 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

You’re being crazy. You’re also insulting his mother who raised him all by herself it seems and the rest of her family, by saying that his last name is less important because it didn’t come from his father. 

Post # 7
2640 posts
Sugar bee

We all have hang ups on things that might not seem rational to others.  But think  of it this way, if you believe in tradition that much, you will be preserving that tradition for your own children, even though your Fiance didn’t get his father’s last name.  If you didn’t take his name, or tried to convince him to take yours, your own children wouldn’t be taking part in the tradition you value. 

Do you have something against his mother?  Do you feel like it’s a "female dominence" thing.  (Like she’ll always have some control over his life??)  Or you don’t like deferring to another woman rather than a man?

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