- 8 years ago
- Wedding: March 2010
Fiance and I are saving money for a house and are living with his (fantastic) parents for a while. It’s been wonderful. I genuinely adore his family and feel so blessed to be marrying into such a loving household.
However, about a month ago, his sister came over and told me that she is really worried about their mom because of these strange lumps she has on her arm and leg. Later that night, his sister made his mom show me the lumps, and they are awful. Swollen, hot to the touch, and very apparent. (No one except his sister has noticed because she wears baggy clothes.) I asked her what the doctor said about them, and she told me that she refused to go to the doctor-at all.
Um, what?! Yea. I was shocked. She is a nurse who recently retired after thirty years of practice. She told me that she’s 99% positive of what they are- melanoma tumors. She told me that the doctor would just tell her that she’d have to get her leg and arm amputated to prevent the melanoma from spreading, and she refused to do that because she doesn’t want her granddaughter to see her like that- she doesn’t want to be a burden.
I tried to convince her that she needs to do something because obviously this could metastasize to her lungs, heart, or brain and be fatal. She told me that it’s definitely fatal, but there’s nothing they can do for her because she doesn’t have health insurance.
I asked her if Fiance knew, and she vehemently told me no, she was not going to tell him until after the wedding because she didn’t want to “ruin it.”
So here’s my dilemma. Do I keep her secret from Fiance and make my vows to be honest, open, and true to him on our wedding day, knowing I’m potentially holding information about his mom’s life? Or do I tell Fiance anyway? Do I inform her that I can’t keep this kind of secret, regardless of what that does to our relationship?
I love his mom so much, but my first priority is to my Fiance. I don’t want to jeopardize my relationship with her, or with him. I also don’t particularly want this to be the first thing we deal with after we come back from the honeymoon. But the wedding is under a month away and I don’t know what will happen if I do tell him…What should I do?!