Post # 32
First of all, I am so sorry you’re going through this- both for your Future Mother-In-Law and for the horrible situation of being asked to keep a secret like this. I agree with the pp’s that you should talk to your Future Mother-In-Law and tell you that you don’t feel comfortable keeping this a secret from your Fiance. Tell her that if she doesn’t tell him ASAP, you’re going to tell him. Imagine how awful this would be if something did happen before the wedding and Fiance found out you kept it from him. Also, I wanted to say that, while I am not a doctor, I am involved in medicine and that does’t sound like cancer. Either way, though, she needs to go see a doctor, and if your Fiance will make her go, then you should tell him so Future Mother-In-Law can get the help she needs.
Post # 33
I think you need to tell your Fiance. I have dealt with cancer in my family all of my life. I know first hand, time is important. My mother had cancer. She beat 2 other cancers in her life. Well we thought 2 time cancer survivor, we are done. Cancer had other things in mind. She had unknown primary cancer wrapped around her intestines. There was no cure for it. They tried chemo, but they gave her 6 months. Well about a month later, she was getting worse & worse. They did a bone marrow biopsy & found out that within 2 weeks, Multiple Myeloma had completely taken over 95% of her marrow. They said she had 2 weeks, we got 4 days. She never knew about the Multiple Myeloma. We didn’t even get a proper goodbye. The only reason why I am telling you this is because you never, ever know what this life has in store. If you have the chance to do something or change something or even say something, then do it! Try whatever you can to get her in. In might not be cancer as some of the other bees posted above, but you never know! You & your family will be in my thoughts & prayers. I am here if you need to talk!
Post # 34
I just wanted to chime in with the medicare/SSI thing since she’s definitely going to have to go!
Tell her to get on Medicare if she can. If not, get her to a doctor for an inital test and then if it’s bad BAD, get her on SSI… shouldn’t be a problem if it’s truly a bad problem. If either of these things don’t apply, call your department of social services to see if there’s anything like a Medically Indigent assistance plan for paying medical bills or if shes eligible for any other kind of medical assistance.
Post # 35
Whew! Thanks for all the advice and encouragement, bees. I finally took a deep breath and told her what I was thinking and feeling this afternoon. I told her that I felt bad that I was going to be marrying Fiance with this secret, and she told me that she felt terrible for putting such a burden on me and telling me in the first place. Even though that wasn’t really the point…
Anyway, we agreed that tonight I would tell him that I had talked to her about the illness and that he would talk to her about it afterwards. I felt like I was going to pass out while I was telling her this stuff, but it got done! I feel so much better. I know it’s going to be a hard road ahead, but at least we can handle it together, and I won’t have to go into our marriage feeling guilty! Hurray!
Your thoughts and prayers for strength and healing for our family are very much appreciated. You girls rock!