(Closed) His mother gave us half a honeymoon….

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 17
3580 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@MrsWBS:  Shoot, $50/month is my mani-pedi budget.  Maybe I should be looking into Aruba.  *side-eyes Expedia*

Post # 18
3580 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@misspeanut:  If it’s not an all-inclusive then they have to pay for food/drink/excursions.  And those excursions are NOT cheap.  They upcharge like mofos.  Snorkling is like $100/pp. 

Post # 19
265 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

ouch very awkward… I am pretty sure you’ll get more then enough needed for the trip from wedding presents. You can first open a credit card with 0% interest and then pay it off afterwards with the money you get from wedding presents.

Post # 21
2892 posts
Sugar bee

No point in beating around the bush or stressing yourself out. When they get back, just tell them that you appreciate their gift and are very thankful but unfortunately the reason you were staying in the states for your honeymoon is because you literally couldn’t afford anything else. Tell them the cost of tickets alone is too much and while you’re grateful for their offer you’ll need to cancel.

Post # 22
5659 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

@Tiffner:  Just curious, where are you flying to Aruba from??

Post # 23
2268 posts
Buzzing bee

Wow. This is a difficult situation.

I honestly find it rude that they have done this – offering to pay for your honeymoon and then only covering the accommodation and telling you that you need to pay for everything else, knowing that you wanted to keep the cost’s down – is unbelievable.

I would talk to your Future In-Laws with your fiancé and explain the situation you’re in; “While we appreciate everything you have done for us and paying for the accommodation for our honeymoon, realistically we cannot afford the flights, spending money and extras we would need to cover. We have a few ideas to sort things out, but we were wondering if you had a preference before we made a decision.”

Though you could get a credit card, it is your choice if you want to or not.

Post # 24
2552 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@Tiffner:  I tried to read through the comments but my eyes are getting tired. Honestly, I think once you openly talk to them, this whole situation will get figured out and probably much easier than you though. Tell them how thankful you are of everything they have done and then be completely honest that you cant afford it. Something will get worked out somehow. Maybe they will end up just getting you the tickets, who knows.

I say talk to them because I had the same situation with FHs parents. I sat around and worried about things and made myself sick, then I picked up the phone, made the call and it was all solved.

Post # 25
1479 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I think a good honest conversation with your future ILs will clear this up. It sounds like they had the best of intentions, but I’m sure they would not want you guys to put yourselves in debt to go on this honeymoon. Just be honest; I bet once you put it out there that you just can’t afford the flight + spending money, they’ll offer something that’s more affordable. They sound like nice people.

And just as an FYI, I work for Four Seasons, and it’s not part of Starwood. None of the hotels are. They are part of Four Seasons. Just didn’t want you to get your hopes up for a property that’s not part of the hotel management company your SIL works for. They ARE fabulous hotels though, and definitely worth the splurge if you’re thinking of one in the future for a vaca. 😉

Post # 27
666 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Yikes, that’s tough.

Aruba doesn’t even have ferry service so you can’t even fly a cheaper flight to a different island and take a ferry there.

Check flights from different departure cities maybe.  It may be cheaper to take a bus to a different/nearby city and then fly from there.  and/or keep checking the prices for lower rates?  

Still, I think you may just need to level with them and tell them you can’t afford it.  Hopefully they can get all or most of their money back. 

Post # 29
3339 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013 - Rhode Island

@HollyCJ:  +1

@Tiffner:  There’s no way to avoid talking to them.  Be honest and say that although you appreciate the gift and would love to go, you cannot afford the airfare.  They may be upset, but it’s 100% their fault.  They can’t promise to pay for a honeymoon, book something, and then turn around and say “You now have to chip in.”  Especially since they already were aware of your financial situation.  You’re not to blame here.

Post # 30
3618 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Sorry you are in such a sticky situation. I agree with PP that the best option is to just be open with them about it. Thank them for their generous gift, but unfortunately you can not afford the plane tickets to get there. You shouldn’t be stressed out over a honeymoon or a gift. I am sure that was not their intention when giving you this gift.

Post # 31
255 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

So you need $2000. Honestly, that’s not a lot and unless you’re tapped to the very last dollar you can probably find it. My Fiance and I stopped buying our coffee on the way to work every day. That was $8 a day, 5 times a week…over the course of the year that’s $2,080. We limited the amount we can go out for dinner each month (down from once a week to twice a month). etc.  I guess what I’m trying to say, is that finances are sometimes about prioritizing what is important. For Fiance and I the honeymoon was more important then a cup of coffee or a hamburger so we’re making it work. Aruba is an expensive destination. Your Mother-In-Law has given you a once-in-a-lifetime chance at a DREAM honeymoon.

Personally, it sounds to me like you’re slightly miffed that she could afford to pay $40k for her daughters wedding, go skiing in Aspen for weeks and goes off on her own expensive vacations but couldn’t be generous enough to bankroll your entire Honeymoon. I’d say don’t look a gift horse in the mouth and be thankful you have family in the position to contribute to your wedding and honeymoon financially. A lot of us brides don’t!

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