(Closed) His parents are amazing!! mine not so much….

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
7560 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

It’s hard when your parents aren’t behind you, but didn’t you say you already feel like a member of your fiance’s family? I would just try to spend as much time planning with your fiance’s family and minimize the frustrating contact with your own family (over the wedding, anyways.) 

Post # 4
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

Do you live far away from your parents?

Have they always been “uninterested” in big life events?

Could it be hard for your parents to be involved since you life with your future in laws?

Post # 6
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@sweetchiquita12:  Could they be feeling like you are replacing them with his parents? That might lead them to be a lot less interested in the wedding if they feel unwanted.

Are there any of your family traditions or wants (however small) that you could incorporate into the wedding planning so they know you aren’t “trading them in” for new parents?

Post # 7
5657 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2012

I know how you feel. My parents were significantly less enthusiastic about us getting married than my DH’s parents were. They weren’t upset with how we were getting married or anything like that either, they just were not interested. 

Focus on the support you are getting from your Future In-Laws. Soon they WILL be your family. Maybe try and suggest to your parents ways they could get involved instead of waiting fo them to do something? Like if you’re working on a DIY project, maybe ask your mom if she could help out? It could be they’re just unsure of what they can do.

Post # 8
2253 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Yup I know what you mean. I have a horrible relationship with my mother, my father I love to death, but FI’s parents are amazing! One of the reasons I would never leave Fiance, of course bc I love him to bits, is bc I would lose his famiLy. 

Post # 9
4192 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

Are you an only child? If not, that could be part of the reason for what seems like their disinterest. My Maid/Matron of Honor who was married 8 years ago is a lot more interested in planning/helping than the one who married a year ago- the second one has wedding burn-out! 🙂

Do you think your parents would be interested in hosting a post-wedding reception, “a sort of “meet the bride and groom” for her friends? Maybe your parents aren’t excited because there’s nothing for them to be- they probably feel that they can’t help with the ceremony plans because it’s not their religion.

Post # 11
342 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I feel the same way! My finace’s dad (his mom passed away) is extremely excited about our wedding and wants to pay for whatever the groom’s parents “traditionally” pay for. He’s always asking questions about all of our planning.

My parents on the other hand… Or I guess I should say my mom, doesn’t seem very excited at all. She doesn’t approve of me living with my finace before we’re married. When I told her we got engaged she didn’t really seem to care. She didn’t ask to see my ring… She didn’t come into the store for my first dress shopping (she sat out in the car with my dad) It’s really kind of sad, and even more embarrassing when people ask if my parents are excited. I have to answer with “I don’t really know…” because I really don’t. Undecided

Post # 12
2414 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’m sorry you are going through this. It never feels nice when you don’t feel like you have support from your parents. I do agree that it’s probably not the best to compare your FIL;s with your parents as it might increase you feelings…have you tried talking to your parents?

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