(Closed) His relatives visiting (again!) How do you deal?

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
8353 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

I don’t really have any ideas, except that you and your Boyfriend or Best Friend should sit down and have a talk about this and set up some ground rules; like how often and for how long they can visit. Family is really important to a lot of people, and if you an your Boyfriend or Best Friend are planning to get engaged and eventually get married, this is something that you are going to have to come to terms with because once you marry him, they will be your family too.

Post # 6
Member
463 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

i know how you feel my fiance and i live 5 hours from his mother brother and sister OH and did mention his mother is preggers!!!! ya well she is here at least 1 month is not more and now she is consiering moving here and no less across the street from us!!!!! OH THE INSANSITY!!!!! and oh ya every time there here his little sister steals my stuff 3 years ago she stole 50 dolars from my purse, she has stolen make up from me and earings!!! i have had my fiance talk to her but yet she still does it

Post # 7
Member
105 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

If they’re his family, he should be the one to tell them it’s unacceptable for them to treat your home as a hotel (particularly when not invited by the homeowner).  It sounds like it may be too late at this point, but maybe before they leave he should set some ground rules

Post # 8
Member
14661 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

If you have a house that is large enough to accomodate them, I can’t imagine that he would even want to suggest that they stay at a hotel or some thing if they were coming to see him.  I would never suggest that to anyone that was coming into town specifically to see me or Fiance.  If they were coming in and crashing with you guys to go see other people, and come and go on their own schedule that conflicts with yours, then I could see maybe suggesting that they not stay there.  But even so, unless there was no room, I’d still let them stay – hotels can be expensive.

I’d be careful of suggesting they dont stay with you also, he may see it that you are not welcoming to his family.

How far do they live?  Do they plan on coming to visit a lot more?  What exactly are the issues that you have when they are there?  Maybe he can talk to them about those specific things to make the stay more pleasant.

 

Post # 10
Member
14661 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Hopefully it gets better once they leave.  Since they really don’t visit that often, I’m gonna have to say I think you need to be the bigger person and make the best of it while they are here.  And if anything is going to cause stress to the realtionship that can really make or break it, better now than later.  You guys will work this out and be even stronger!  Look at this like a nice little stress test.  Smile  Good luck! 

… you could always come to the hive to bitch when they get to be too much!

Post # 11
Member
2271 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I don’t have that problem because I run an animal sanctuary. Even though the cats mostly hang around outside, apparently a multitude of animals puts them off. Breaks my heart, NOT!

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