(Closed) His sex drive is lower than mine.

posted 4 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 2
281 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

I think 1-2 times a week is normal if not more than normal.

Post # 4
3107 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2016 - Surfer\'s Beach, Grand Cayman

My husband has a healthy sex drive, he said his ideal would be every other day. However, he is definitely not the kind of guy who is always ready to go, he rarely wants sex at night (too sleepy), and he does have times where stress or anxiety can affect his mood or ability to be intimate and he has turned me down on several occasions. I also grew up believing men should always be in the mood and that they simply wanted sex more than women. It was only until I was an adult and had met/dated/talked to different men, that I realized that everyone is different and that I in fact had a higher sex drive than many of the 30 something guys I was meeting. It’s a very damaging myth for both men and women, there is no normal.

Post # 5
333 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

You just described my life! But I’m still in the phase of getting used to it and sometimes getting upset. Good to know the future can be hopeful!

Post # 6
302 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

Yes thank you for this! I’m seeing this a few weeks after you posted it, but I 100% relate to this. I thought it was me like I did something wrong in our relationship or was turning him off somehow and there were so many nights I cried myself to sleep. BUT I came to the realization that it’s just him and that’s normal for him. I still am adjusting to accepting it, it’s gotten a lot better. 1x a week is good for him but I’d be happy with about 5x a week! I’m glad to know I’m not alone (& I’m not the only one who kind of gets jealous when women complain about their husband wanting sex all the time..)

Post # 7
52 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

View original reply
lattesfordays :  my Fiance and I are the same way! I am so envious of girls that complain about how often their SOs want to have sex with them 😭 I’d be happy with about 5x a week, but he wants once every 6 days, like clockwork

Post # 8
112 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

I am with you girls!
My situation is a little different because SO works nights, so hes always tired and our schedules are way off course. But I definetly have a bigger sex drive than him and would have it every day if I could! We go on and off but average probably about once a fortnight.
It did take a little bit at the beginning to sort myself out and realise its not my fault, but I’m happy to wait til he’s into it, and most of the time it just takes a little coaxing to get him in the mood.

Post # 9
37 posts
  • Wedding: March 2018

Its like I just read a story of my own life hahahaha! Especially the part about TV and movies making you feel like ALL men want it ALL the time. 

I too am at the stage of finally accepting it (after many open discussions with FI). I even considered going to therapist thinking that I had sex=love issues or something.

At the moment we are transitioning from every second night to every third night. (or morning!) 

Thanks for the great post OP!

Post # 10
208 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

It’s such a horrible stereotype that keeps being perpetuated. Currently my husband turns me down nearly every time I initiate and it’s horrible. We’re trying to conceive and basically the only time he agrees is when I’m ovulating. It makes it so hard to keep initiating otherwise… and also frustrating when he initiates and I’m not in the mood, but if I say no then that would be it for a month. 

Geez, even once a week would be great. If it doesn’t happen on the weekend, then it doesn’t happen, and we’re officially at the end of our second weekend without… I think I’m pregnant now, and part of me is so resentful that that is probably the end of our sex life altogether. 

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