(Closed) His sister wants to be in the wedding, but I don't want her. (Long, sorry!)

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

I say you do nothing. If FIs crazy sister approaches you and asks then you honestly say the bridal party number is small and she is not a Bridesmaid or Best Man. Until you are asked, keep quite and dont invite trouble

Post # 4
Member
255 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

She has no reason to start stuff if you never asked her in the first place to be in your bridal party. If anyone has one, it’s the older of the two who was a Bridesmaid or Best Man and has been cut (though, I doubt she will given your relationship).

That said you need to have your responses ready so that when younger starts causing drama you can calmly put her in her place. 

“I’m sorry _____ that you were under the impression that you were a member of my bridal party. Unfortunately due to finances we have decided on a smaller group of close friends and family to stand beside us on our special day”. 

If she tries to pick a fight, calmly tell her that it’s not up for discussion and your decision is final. It’s your day and you deserve it your way. However, in my opinion I think that it would be a kind gesture to try to find some way to honor her, even if in a small way. She is afterall soon to be family.

Post # 5
Member
8439 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@VideoGamer:  if she isn’t even invited to the wedding how is she going to be in the wedding? I personally think you will have bigger issues with that bomb than the not being a Bridesmaid or Best Man issue.

Post # 6
Member
2607 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

@j_jaye:  if she isn’t even invited to the wedding how is she going to be in the wedding? I personally think you will have bigger issues with that bomb than the not being a Bridesmaid or Best Man issue.


Um, yeah.  You think she causes drama NOW?!

Post # 7
Member
967 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Just correcting on one thing: a half sister IS a biological sister…because one of your FI’s parents is HER parent as well….just not both….

I’m assuming by biological you are saying that BOTH of his parents are her parents as well….

I have 2 half sisters as well…..

Post # 8
Member
157 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

i would have Fiance handle this issue lol send him into the lions den- it is his family after all 🙂 

idk & i think if I were you I would still include his older sister as a Bridesmaid or Best Man, because she is your future sister and its a nice gesture and a chance to bond. It seems as though she was looking forward to being apart of your special day. Good luck! & I hope you can work it out with his younger sister 🙁

Post # 9
Member
83 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I am having one bridesmaid, so to include other ppl in the wedding one will host the reception, another can be ring bearer, dad walks me down the aisle, two ppl can be witnesses and sign the wedding certificate and others can do readings during the ceremony.

Post # 12
Member
301 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Is not inviting her to the wedding necessary? If you don’t really have a relationshipw ith her she might not even come, so I would really make sure that’s a choice you want to make. Sounds like a recipe for bad blood….or rather, making that gap between him and his family worse. :-/

 

Post # 14
Member
82 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@VideoGamer:  Going through a similar situation but with an uncle I personally would speak to her… she is his sister… I know he said not to invite her but that might be an explosion waiting to happen.

You might want to include her if not it might be a regret for years to come. Have you spoke to his mom about it?

Post # 15
Member
36 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I would suggest that you a) reconsider not inviting his youngest sister. There will be a large amount of drama if you don’t. The repercussions could last years and might cause sore feelings within the entire family. Not the best way to start off a marriage. Also, I would say, let the one sister know you’d be so appreciative if she said an important speech or toast. I doubt the other sister would be so inclined to do any extras anyways. I have many good friends who aren’t bridesmaids, but by including them in different ways, they know how much I love them and want them to be involved.

Best of luck! 🙂

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