Post # 1
My boyfriend and I have been dating over two years. He has been talking about marriage with me since November. He even started saying he would like a winter wedding in the mountains in February. He is currently in the process of applying for med school which would start in August 2011. He and I have talked a lot about liking to have some time married before med school, so February made complete sense.
I got super excited but have been waiting patiently. We went on a two week road trip and grew even closer. No proposal on the road trip, but I was sure it was comign soon. I did make the request that if he really wanted to get married in February that he propose before July 13 when I go home to visit my family. That way my mom and I could go dress shopping and do girly stuff.
But now, I feel like I am losing it. He has not proposed and told me that it is not going to happen before July. I am willing to move and support him during med school, but he did not grant me my one wish. I live far away from my parents and family so a wedding would in a sense be a destination wedding. So how could we possibly get married in February! Not to mention venues are filling up. He just keeps calling this “his time” and that I need to be patient, but I honestly feel like now I’m getting angry and not understanding how all of this is going to work out. What should I do? I love him, so while I am tempted to make threats, that is not what I want to do. I do want to be with him. It was him who started talking about all this timing stuff in the first place.
Post # 3
Have you considered proposing to him?
Post # 4
Maybe by his time he means its his one thing he gets to do with the wedding is the proposal. Most guys (mine excluded) really enjoy the part of the proposal so maybe hes waiting until you are not expecting it.
Because you guys want to be married in feb maybe ask if its ok to start planning before he offically proposes. And there is no reason you cant go dress shopping while you are with your mom in july anyway!
Post # 5
@MissHelen: He’s very traditional so that is not his style.
Post # 6
July 13 is not here yet… It sounds like he will do it.
Post # 7
It sounds like he wants to do it, and is on his way to proposing… maybe he hasnt quite got enough saved for the ring yet??
Post # 8
I think he is just throwing you off?
Post # 9
My fiance told me he could not afford a ring and that I was just going to have to wait. We went to the beach for a week and I kept saying “this has been the perfect day” with the eye brow raises but nothing…. He had our neighbors and best friends bring the ring down with them a couple days after we got there and then on 4th of July at 1am (it just took him that long to get the right moment) he finally proposed!!
Don’t give up hope! He is probably just trying to surprise you.
Post # 10
It’s not July 13th yet! So why would you be getting upset before that deadline? He’s still got a week! Early to be upset.
And if he doesn’t propose by July 13 – no problem you can happily say yes and ask when he wants to do the wedding… a good while after February. He gets to pick the proposal time (if you’re going to let him propose) but he doesn’t get to pick the other stuff. You lose out on getting the proposal right when you want it, he loses out on having the wedding when he wants it – in the long run neither of those are that important and both of you will survive.
Post # 11
I think he is probably trying to throw you off. It sounds like he wants to marry you with all the wedding talk, guys just don’t like their girls to know that the proposal is coming. They want it to be a suprise.
Post # 12
If he is really traditional, my guess is that the ring is either not ready or he doesn’t have the cash quite yet to order it. Mine took 10 weeks to come in. He sounds very serious about you, so I would try really hard to be patient.
Even if he proposes in the late summer, you can plan a wedding for February. Generally there are more options in the winter, you’ll just have to be organized and a little flexible.
Post # 13
Heck look at me. I’m planning a wedding in a month and a half! I had to rearrange everything due to the oil spill on the gulf!
You can do it!
But seriously, I’d in a sneakily way find out what “his time” is defined as. Imho kinda cryptic.
Post # 14
my husband drove me to the point of total freakout!! we went to texas for vacation, and he had the ring(and i knew it), on our last night, he still hadn’t proposed.. i went to bed and cried myself to sleep, and i know he knew it!! less than 2 weeks later, he proposed.. we didn’t get the venue i wanted, or the dress i wanted, or really anything else i wanted except for him… but i had him, and i was happy… it’ll happen, so do whatever you can to keep your cool, because if you loose it, it could push it out even further!
Post # 15
Dont get too discouraged. Even if it doesnt happen by July 13th at least you know its on his mind and its coming soon. Maybe you can have a talk with him find out if everything is still on for feb ’11 and if what he thinks about looking at venues early given the special circumstances of a destination wedding.
Post # 16
Thank you so much to all of you! You really lifted my spirits this morning with your advice. It helped to calm me down. I will keep you posted 🙂