ladyjane123 : Oh, I just love that cuddle story! Yes, sure you did have to ask, but you created a new normal and expectations and now all sounds well. That is a good point- I don’t think this is big enough to stain- Or rather, I won’t let anything do that if I have the power to stop it. So, thinking about it from that POV is actually encouraging and motivating. I think sticking to a walk date is so scary, but in my heart (andI’m sure many other bees who have been incorrect felt the same) I know it will all happen and I won’t have to move on. But, I need to keep a grasp on reality that it’s absolutely possible.
sweetdee89 : That is very sound advice- Thank you, bee. I think starting to let the big picture come into view now is important, so I’m not squirming later (don’t know if that makes sense lol) Thank you for your encouragement!
sunburn : Ah, Sunburn, I was a little afraid when I saw you responded lol But, I’ll start off with- you’re right. And now, I’ll comment:
I have given him too much room, yes. Something I’ve realized and been kicking myself for, but it is what it is at this point. No, I absolutely don’t get anxious about things I want to do! Residual resentment poisoning the relationship is a very poignant point to me. I’m not really feeling any sort of ill will necessarily towards my SO- I had been, but I was really freakin depressed and honestly needed to work on myself at that time. I was able to screw my head on straight and that has passed. Anyway, that being said, I’m obviously not happy with his lack of action- So that is to be considered.
Agreed- He’s had plenty of time and it needs to happen and girl, I told him. I danced around it in our other conversations, but after all of this last night- I laid it out on the table. I told him I can’t put up with it anymore blah blah blah you know how it goes. He told me everything I was saying was right- He said he screwed up, he should have done it already, and admittedly, he said, I have no excuse. I took that all at face value because ACTIONS over words and I just can’t be bothered to hang onto the frivolous “Oh, he said he wants to marry me!” crap that I was. He wants to marry me when he proposes.
I brought up a lot of points of contention because I didn’t want to leave anything unsaid- One being, so, your brother is engaged, does that mean we have to “wait”? He was confused at first and I elaborated- He said, “Oh some sort of cooling off period? I don’t think that’s a thing.” So, yeah, again, take it for what it’s worth. I asked him, so, you finally propose- “Are you going to bitch at me when I talk about wedding stuff? Am I going to be able to ask you things and gush about it? Or will you be annoyed and irritated?” He claims it ridiculous that I would even ask him that stating he of course wants to talk about it. Just sharing these for POV.
I told a friend that I have an expiration date and she told me I would hate to see you throw away your relationship over a date you have in your head. This irked me because that’s not the case. I wouldn’t be throwing away my relationship for a date- I would be bucking up and moving on because XYZ made it clear I need to. Flashback a few months ago and she was pissed off waiting for her SO to propose, now that he has, she seems to have forgotten the suckiness.