Post # 1
- Wedding: October 2020 - City, State
I could really use a little advice/perspective. We’ve been together 15 months. This have been really great, we live together and get along well. We have both been married and divorced and don’t plan on having any children between us (we both have a child from our prior marriage). So I thought while marriage might be on the table down the road it wasn’t something I thought was an option until way later in life. We are both in our mid thirties and make a comfortable living. We had discussed engagement as a “someday” thing.
However! This past weekend we took a trip to a big city for the long weekend. It was a blast, amazing food, theater, a lovely hotel. We never get away and it was so much fun. The second day we were there we wandered past an antique store with lots of incredible jewelry in the window. He initiated a game of “which ring” to see if he could guess my favorites and then brought me inside to try my favorites on and see which ones I liked the best. He did this the next day at an antiques show. I tried on some beautiful diamonds and rubies, sapphires, and even a pink diamond (lol dream on)! He seemed like he was asking a lot of questions and really paying attention.
My best friend thinks he’s getting ready to propose. It was a really great weekend and the “guess the ring” game was honestly a lot of fun but I don’t want to read too much into it.
Did your guy suddenly start paying attention to jewelry? Tell me stories!
Post # 2
My husband and I had been out shopping and he randomly asked if I wanted to go into a jewelery store and look at rings, which I thought was a bit odd because we had talked about getting married but thought engagement wouldn’t happen for a while, like a couple years. So, we went in, checked out styles, talked about what we liked. Then a couple months later, we were shopping and we went in to the same store and was like “why don’t you see what your size is?” so we did that, looked at more rings, he got a quote (wouldn’t let me see it) and took the guys info.
He didn’t end up going there as he found a diamond broker to work with, but about 6 months after he proposed! Would have been sooner but he waited for a big trip we had planned.
So yes I think it’s a good sign that he is trying to get a feel for what you like, otherwise it just seems a bit cruel lol. I think most women would assume the same thing as you are!
ETA- I do think its smart to not get your hopes up, even though I think this is a good sign who knows how quickly he will move on this, if at all. Good luck and keep us posted!
Post # 3
It does seem like a good possibility. I would maybe wait a little while and see what happens since IF thats whats happening you dont want to spoil it.
BUT – it might have just been a dumb game he didnt think about. So if some time passes and no other convos come up, TALK TO HIM. The great thing about being in our 30’s is we are old enough to be direct. Ask if he thinks about marriage in the future and see what he says.
Honestly Im suprised it hasnt come up already. FH and I started dating at 34 and it came up within the 2-3 month range as a “thing we both generally wanted” in discussion. We also both have kids from previous relationships and dont want more kids.
Post # 4
I can honestly say I personally don’t know any man who, just for fun, pulls his girlfriend into a jewellery store to try on rings (and then does the same thing the next day!) unless he has something on his mind.
My husband will jewellery shop with me and now pays more attention to rings and earrings etc but this took laborious and extensive training over many, many years…..
Post # 5
Hahaha @desiderata worded perfectly. I don’t think men do it for fun. I think he has something on his mind! 🙂
Post # 6
I think it’s a sign he is thinking about proposing, but I don’t know if it’s much of an indication of how soon. My SO first asked me about rings in like winter 2014, if I’m remembering correctly, and didn’t propose until summer 2018. That’s a pretty extreme case, but point being that at the time I thought his interest in rings was a sign he was already making concrete plans, when in reality he wasn’t.
So I agree with PP that it may be a good idea to touch base if he doesn’t surprise you with a proposal soon. You don’t want to be operating on very different timelines and spend months expecting a proposal that in his mind has been a year away or more from the start.
Post # 7
- Wedding: March 2021 - Kauai, HI
I’d just ask him. “I don’t want to get my hopes up, but are you starting to think about engagement? I am too.”
Post # 8
- Wedding: October 2020 - City, State
I’m still sifting through replies but we have discussed it,
“We had discussed engagement as a “someday” thing.”
I thought it was way further down the road though for sure!
Post # 9
- Wedding: June 2019 - City, State
hmmmm my man is mayybe unusual, he took me to a park and sat me down – seemed a little out of breath, nervous, so cute 😛 – and he said he was ready financially to start moving toward engagement now, and asked me what would i like to do about the ring – design it together, have it be a complete surprise, etc.
i’ve been with him every step of the way, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
I tell you this so you can see where my opinion is coming from, and decide whether this works for you or not:
why not just ask? I mean, it’s lovely to play the try on rings game and to be excited and in the dark, but why not just have a fun talk about it? It doesn’t have to be a back-him-into-a-corner kind of talk, just maybe a playful “what’s with the rings” talk, where you can ask each other questions about what the other wants.
Try “If you had it all your way, how would you know when things are right/ what would have you feel ready to be engaged to each other?”
Here’s my reasoning around it: this is your future, and your future partnership. I’m old and opinionated, but I feel that the way people go about choosing their ring kind of sets the tone for how they’re going to work together, play together, plan together.
but throw this all out if it doesn’t work for you 😉 we’re all different. wishing you happiness, bee
Post # 10
I don’t want to get my hopes up, but are you starting to think about engagement? I am too.”
This is a good idea and good wording OP. I’d lose the “get my hopes up’ part though , it sounds needy.
Post # 11
I’d just ask. My SO and I have been talking about rings and having a cheeky look in jewellery shops for well over a year now but I knew a year ago that we weren’t seriously getting engaged any time soon because it wasn’t the right time for a wedding (for a few reasons). And personally I would have been a bit pissed if he tried to suprise me with it without a conversation, not that he would have though.
So I wouldn’t take trying on rings as an indicator that you’re getting engaged soon (or whatever your idea of soon is). There’s nothing wrong with having an up front conversation about when to get engaged, most women do it, and it definitely won’t ruin any surprises – just means you’re on the same page.