(Closed) Hmmmm, what to do? Thank you note issue!

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@AstoriaBoston: Maybe you could just say something briefly to her like, since you moved recently I just wanted to make sure you got the card I sent (you don’t even have to mention the cash part unless she says she didn’t get it).

Post # 5
Member
3572 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

i think you have a year to send out thank yous after a wedding – i’d give it more time

Post # 7
Member
735 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@AstoriaBoston: Lesson learned for US – get to those thank you notes PROMPTLY.  Let’s not put other people in your position.

But some people never get around to thank you notes at all.  I went to a wedding TWO years ago, was good friends with the groom, he married a pretty proper woman, high society, beautiful wedding, prominent job… I never got a thank you note for the gift I had mailed to their home.  Only a verbal one at the wedding.  Sometimes people surprise you… It doesn’t mean they didn’t get the gift or they didn’t appreciate it.  (But THOSE people get talked about of wedding boards.  And probably in real life too.  So I still vote for being proper and sending out thank yous as soon as possible after receiving any gift!)

Post # 8
Member
5295 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1993

My wedding was in the middle of June and I’m hoping to get my thank-yous out next week. We waited for photos from the photog – which we didn’t get until the first week of August. Add to that a week turnaround to get the thank-yous, and I’ve been booking it to get my thank yous done.

Long story short, she may just not have them done yet. You could casually mention it at the dinner – ask if she’s all caught up after the wedding and how things are going and even ask if she got your card with all the chaos with moving.

Post # 9
Member
4419 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

It’s been almost a month since our reception, and I’m still working on thank you notes. I have about 13 more to write, so after this holiday I’ll finish those last few up and get them out.  

Someone said you have a year to get them out, but that’s not true.  You should get them out a month after you get back from your honeymoon. To make someone wait a year for a thank you really isn’t very polite.

Since you put the card and money in the card box at the reception, I’d say you can be fairly certain that she did actually get your gift. It is very unusual for gift to get lost or come up missing in that situation. I don’t really know of an easy way to really ask about it. 

I guess the real question is, do you want to ask if she got it because you’re worried she didn’t get it or are you wondering why you haven’t gotten a thank you?

ETA: I just re-read the last paragraph of my post and it sounds a bit judgemental!  Please don’t think I’m judging you or inferring anything. I just said it to make you think about your reason for wanting to ask.  I think she probably just hasn’t gotten around to doing them yet, and you don’t need to worry. 

Post # 10
Member
3267 posts
Sugar bee

@MrsTVLover: That is a myth.  You do not have a year to thank someone for a gift.  They should be sent as soon as possible.  Anything more then a month or two is pushing it, IMO.

Post # 12
Member
994 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@hisgoosiegirl: I was going to mention that — maybe they are waiting for photos to make the photo note cards?

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