Post # 1
#1 I am not judging anyone for their decisions at the end of the day each to his/her own.
I have read a few post on the Bee about this topic and I have actual had to scratch my head (again no offence to anyone). But I am trying to understand the ‘sense’ of an ‘open marriage’.
Again ladies (as I want to be clear and not cause DRAMA) but what is the ‘understanding’ of an open marriage? Why go into a union where you still go ‘out’ for a lil sumthing sumthing.
I personally will not be having one (can’t dear to phantom the thought). But what views/experiences do you have about this ‘concept’
Ladies be nice (as I just wanted to hear what others (in a civil way) had to say bout this.
Post # 3
@Mz Izzie: It’s not my thing, but there are people who can fully separate sex and love. They are committed to being together forever, but they can also satisfy themselves with other people. Marriage is a LOT more than sex. They still have intimate sex with one another, but can also have ‘fun’ sex with other people. For some people this may be the only way that they can be fully happy in a long-term committed relationship.
Post # 5
@Mz Izzie: I know myself, and know that I am too jealous to have such a thing. I know couples that do, and it seems to work ok for them, but it is absolutely not something I could ever do!
Post # 6
I’ll be honest. And I probably should be posting this anon. But, I originally thought like you too. But, I met one of my best guy friends, and they have an open relationship (I have never partaken). They have one of the most healthy, good relationships I have ever seen. Clearly, they trust me enough to share that portion of their relationship with me. Like I said, I have never taken part, nor do I know if I ever will (probably not). But for reason, I do understand.
At the same time, my FH and I have a monogamous relationship, and that will probably never change either, but he does have “fantasies” about an open relationship. It excites him. He would NEVER cheat on me, its more of a fantasy thing for him.
I get the apprehension and veiled judgement (intentional or not), and clearly, it is NOT for everyone, but to each their own!
Post # 7
You seem to be equating relationships and sex, and those are very different things. It doesn’t surprise me that couples would be okay with committing to each other and being each others “one person” but at the same time seeking physical relations with others.
Post # 8
I guess people in those sort of relationships get married for much the same reasons others do. Not only is it a demonstration of commitment, it also has financial and legal benefits (e.g. for taxation or who is considered to be next of kin).
Some people don’t believe that an open marriage counts as a commitment if the couple are still having sex with others, but I guess there are some who believe the marriage isn’t a proper commitment if one of the partners lives or works away from the other one. And there are many people who believe that their partner isn’t committed if they are friends with members of the opposite sex, or if they look at pornography or use sex toys.
I think, like any other aspect of a relationship, an open relationship needs communication and respect from all parties involved.
Post # 9
Personally I have waited to marry my Fiance. I have been asked 5 times before I finally found the one that understands and cherishes me for who I am. I dont believe in divorce so I wanted to be sure that my mate would understand the true mean of “TO DEATH DO PART US”. I feel when you take those vows they are so precious and I have a stong belief in honoring my committment to my mate. Having an open marriage is the couples view of what they want their marriage to be. I cant judge them on their beliefs because I dont want to be judge on mine. The love I have for my Fiance goes beyond the word our spirits our connected and we are a reflection of each other. I couldnt share that with someone else.