(Closed) Hmmmmm…CONFUESD

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
1774 posts
Buzzing bee

@Mz Izzie:  It’s not my thing, but there are people who can fully separate sex and love. They are committed to being together forever, but they can also satisfy themselves with other people. Marriage is a LOT more than sex. They still have intimate sex with one another, but can also have ‘fun’ sex with other people. For some people this may be the only way that they can be fully happy in a long-term committed relationship.

Post # 4
Member
3368 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

To each their own!

Post # 5
Member
317 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@Mz Izzie:  I know myself, and know that I am too jealous to have such a thing.  I know couples that do, and it seems to work ok for them, but it is absolutely not something I could ever do!

Post # 6
Member
361 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I’ll be honest. And I probably should be posting this anon. But, I originally thought like you too.  But, I met one of my best guy friends, and they have an open relationship (I have never partaken).  They have one of the most healthy,  good relationships I have ever seen.  Clearly, they trust me enough to share that portion of their relationship with me.  Like I said, I have never taken part, nor do I know if I ever will (probably not).  But for reason, I do understand.

At the same time, my FH and I have a monogamous relationship, and that will probably never change either, but he does have “fantasies” about an open relationship.  It excites him.  He would NEVER cheat on me, its more of a fantasy thing for him.

I get the apprehension and veiled judgement (intentional or not), and clearly, it is NOT for everyone, but to each their own!

Post # 7
Member
3182 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

You seem to be equating relationships and sex, and those are very different things. It doesn’t surprise me that couples would be okay with committing to each other and being each others “one person” but at the same time seeking physical relations with others. 

Post # 8
Member
1902 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I guess people in those sort of relationships get married for much the same reasons others do. Not only is it a demonstration of commitment, it also has financial and legal benefits (e.g. for taxation or who is considered to be next of kin).

Some people don’t believe that an open marriage counts as a commitment if the couple are still having sex with others, but I guess there are some who believe the marriage isn’t a proper commitment if one of the partners lives or works away from the other one. And there are many people who believe that their partner isn’t committed if they are friends with members of the opposite sex, or if they look at pornography or use sex toys.

I think, like any other aspect of a relationship, an open relationship needs communication and respect from all parties involved.

 

Post # 9
Member
1465 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Personally I have waited to marry my Fiance. I have been asked 5 times before I finally found the one that understands and cherishes me for who I am. I dont believe in divorce so I wanted to be sure that my mate would understand the true mean of “TO DEATH DO PART US”. I feel when  you take those vows they are so precious and I have a stong belief in honoring my committment to my mate. Having an open marriage is the couples view of what they want their marriage to be. I cant judge them on their beliefs because I dont want to be judge on mine. The love I have for my Fiance goes beyond the word our spirits our connected and we are a reflection of each other. I couldnt share that with someone else.

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