(Closed) Hmph, srsly her again? Or maybe I’m just being crazy…

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
1871 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

I will be honest if not a bit blunt–I hope that you’re okay with that!

I don’t subscribe to the “I trust him; it’s HER I don’t trust!” claim. You’re NOT trusting him; if you did, then Megan Fox herself could be his BFF and you wouldn’t say boo. Now, that’s not to say that you don’t have reason for feeling insecure because probably he is doing something that encourages you to feel that way. In this case, I think probably what’s happening is he is flattered by having a slight, slight, slight flirtation with a pretty girl (which is LOOONG way from cheating) and you are detecting that.

As far as the fighting goes, I also think that you’ve turned this into an unsaid competition between yourself and her and you’re panicking because he’s taking her side. He, on the other hand, probably doesn’t quite see it that way–or perhaps he just gets a kick out of seeing you jealous. But strictly objectively speaking, I can see that perhaps she really doesn’t know your name–no, not all women are “detail oriented;” he “has’t seen her in years” and doesn’t seem to really talk to her–not a likely candidate for an affair. And honestly, who cares what kinds of pictures she puts up on her own FB page? It’s her page. I do think that yes, she’s probably a bit of a trollop, but you are the one giving her all the power by freaking out about this.

Now, you can put your foot down as Ms. Fiance and say you don’t want him having contact with her, period. If that’s really going to make it better for you, then fine, do that. But I can promise you that the best defense against this type of thing is not to pull on the leash harder, but to put on your big-girl high-heels, stop thinking about her, and start strutting the stuff of your own life and self. Meaning, don’t worry about whatever trollop does; you are way too fabulous for her to bother you. And if you do that, you’ll also be way too fabulous for Fiance to bother with her either.

Post # 5
711 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@JennyW1: agreed.

The probelm isn’t really her. I mean, she sounds like a skank but whatevs…there’s always gonna be someone trying to be provocative and/or get attention from your man.

I am more concerned about he doesn’t seem to understand that you feel jealous and hurt. He, like JennyW said, is maybe getting off on you feeling jealous and the attention from this other chick. But that’s not right. He needs to understand your perspective and change his attitude and behavior…imho.

Good luck girl! You should strut your stuff and not worry about her. BUT, if he’s not being receptive to your concerns, I’d recommend having a sitdown with him to work this out.

Post # 6
5095 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Gah!  “Women” aren’t detail oriented!!  My lifelong best friend and I have a pact that if anyone who knows her but not me ever comes up to us at a party or something, and she doesn’t introduce us within 2 seconds, I introduce myself, because it means she can’t remember that person’s name.  (She once blanked on MY name, and she’s known me since she was 10 days old.) Now granted that’s an extreme case, but…oy. It took me YEARS to remember some of my close friends’ boyfriends’ (now husbands’) names. 

Sorry this isn’t addressing the whole issue, but that is just a weaksauce justification for being mad.

Post # 7
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

The problem is not the girl, the problem is the guy. I’m sorry— but the fact that he isn’t acknowledging your feelings would bug me. Even if she is nothing but harmless, if it bothered me THAT much I would expect my Fiance to stop seeing her, especially because it would be the first time I’d said something like that. I’m not saying your guy is being inappropriate, but I’m saying he’s playing with fire. 

In my experience there has only been one time in my entire dating career that I was jealous of a girl. I have had lots of guy friends, I’ve never had a problem with my boyfriends have female friends… but THIS girl… she didn’t even do anything so crazy like the girl you describe but I just felt she was a little too into my guy. We broke up (for totally unrelated reasons) and surprise surprise… he started dating her. I’m just sayin’… women have good instincts. 

Post # 8
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

my hubby had a friend, a total flirt that if she didnt have a group of guys hanging on her every word she wasnt happy –  he no longer has any contact with her and that was my call and he agreed to it

yes i trust my hubby, yes i believe he is a honorable person and i can leave him in a room of strippers and not be jealous but just the thought of this one person made me biotchy and i would be in a bad mood knowing that they had been talking or seeing eachother

but im a bit confused on your post,

So now onto the current. I am not happy at all about her coming up out of nowhere

what do you mean by this? is she suddently in the picture contacting him???

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