(Closed) Ho do I handle my MOH?!? I really need advice

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
381 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Honestly, it’s your wedding, do you want to remember spending the last weekend worrying about her and how she is doing. it sounds mean I know, but you get one day that’s about your fiancé and you. Spend this week getting excited and ready. If she ignores you this week then let her. Easier said than done. I had a best friend do this to me the month before mine. Made a big deal about not going to my wedding and refused to tell anyone why. But wanted the attention for it. Screw it. It’s your time. 

Post # 4
Member
7173 posts
Busy Beekeeper

My advice is swallow your pride and call her.  This isn’t about winning or being right/justified, this is about clearing the air. If she doesn’t pick up, leave her a message saying something like:  “My wedding is less than a week away and it’s important that you and I clear the air before then.”  I’d also probably ask to get together before the nails date for lunch or something like that.  If she’s the drama queen you say she is, there isn’t much you can do expect try to manage what you communicate with her.  She will react the way she does regardless of what you say – and there is no way you can anticipate what she will or won’t do.  

Post # 5
Member
3421 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Manhattan Church Rec Center

It was really wrong of your friend to come to you about her insecurities (jealousy) about your upcoming wedding (as yours is first). it puts you in a aqward possition. 

Post # 6
Member
496 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I think you need to call her. With things being so close to your wedding, you don’t need this extra stress about worrying about her. 

Post # 8
Member
279 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

If she didn’t respond to texts then you need to find a more direct way. Calling is okay, but honestly I think you need to get some face-to-face time with her. I had the same thing go down with my bestie (although further out from the weddings) and it’s really hard but I don’t think you could be anything but hoenst when pushed. I’ve told my bestie that I love her and support her and want her to be happy, but his actions have not proven to me that he can treat her well and until that changes it’s best if she doesn’t ask me my opinion unless she actually wants to hear it (knowing already what it is). It was a little strained for a while, but we definitely got through it.

If she lives near you, I would even consider going to her house and inviting her for coffee then and there. Try not to give her the opportunity to screen you (like she could a phone call).

 

Best of luck to you! Whatever you do, don’t let it ruin your day. It’s a hiccup, that’s all.

Post # 9
Member
7173 posts
Busy Beekeeper

@sheridd2:  All she’s told you right now is that she was too emotional and couldn’t handle what you were telling her.  IMO, there’s nothing to apologize for (short of if you were too harsh).  Sometimes telling someone something they already know (ie: your Fiance is a jerk) is wasted breath because they aren’t open or ready to listen… or they know and they don’t care and/or don’t want your opinion.  

I’m an advocate of a “are we ok?” “Can we move on?” “Do you want to talk about what happened” type conversation to get you from where you are right now (not taking) to post wedding.  The sooner you get this resolved the better – you have enough on your plate this week!  

Also – re: attention seeker & your wedding – if she is (and I know the type) then let her do her ‘thing’ and you need to not get sucked into the drama and focus on YOU, your Fiance, and YOUR wedding.  Don’t allow her to distract you from the bliss of the day/experience.  It’s ultimately your choice how you direct your attention.  Stay focused on what’s important this weekend!!!

Post # 10
Hostess
2635 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@sheridd2:  try to call her….but I would say this…dont let anyone rob your joy!!! it;s your wedding try calling her…try talking but if she still refuses just go forward with or without her….be happy…don’t let her unforginvness drag you down…I speak from experience since I too have a Maid/Matron of Honor who is overly emotion, she can dish stuff out but can’t take stuff being siad to her….

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