(Closed) Ho much did you pay for the wedding and how much did you get in gifts?

posted 6 years ago in Money
Post # 2
9567 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

You will nottttttttt make back everything much less a profit. Do NOT budget around that. I haven’t had my wedding yet but I know this to be true. 

Post # 3
1309 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

I don’t think most people keep a ledger like that. I have no idea how much I “got” from my wedding. 

Post # 4
2170 posts
Buzzing bee

yea we did not get back the budget of our small wedding. If we had invited more people, it makes sense we would have recieved more but then the cost would go up too. I hope most people don’t look at wedding like this but who knows. I would NOT count on making all the money back on your wedding plus some. Definitely not. THink about having the wedding you can afford, with little to no debt afterwards. Then your gifts will just be something nice you have, not something you were counting on. 

Post # 5
521 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
halahala:  yes we definitly did not get close to our money back at all- but we werent having a wedding to get “our money back’ we were having a wedding to celebrate our love with family and friends- and any gifts we recieved were a bonus!

We were probably around $150 a plate including open bar, plus all of our other wedding expenses( photographer, decor, DJ, flowers etc, etc, etc) and we probably got around average $80-100 from each guests which was verfy generous, because some people were travelling from far and we ceertainyl didnt expect anything and were more than happy with what we received.

So dont listen to your mom and spend more hoping you will get more…

Post # 6
4230 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Don’t count on getting that money back.  Time to tell your mother that you refuse to go over your budget.

It’s also suuuuuper tacky to compare how much you spent to how much you received in gifts.  My friend did this and told me about it because they had “earned” money off of her wedding.  I had given her a fat check for her wedding because I knew her and her husband needed money pretty badly.  It made me feel really horrible that she was “proud” of the fact that she had earned money off of her wedding…

Post # 7
3895 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

I think you might get about half back, it’s a safe assumption. I wouldn’t count on more! If you do, great, but don’t plan your wedding thunking you’re gonna get everything back and more!

Post # 8
1551 posts
Bumble bee

It’s highly unlikely you’ll make back what you paid, but I guess it depends on a couple of things. If you have a low budget wedding with a lot of guests, I guess it’s possible. Or if you’re in a social circle where every guest typically gives large sums of money and high-end items. But for an average wedding, with average guests, no.

A wedding is, of course, about you and your husband to be. But as a host, it’s also a gift to your guests. You provide food, drink, and entertainment to thank your guests for coming, not to weasel some cash out of them in return.

Post # 9
11371 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

I don’t count China and crystal as getting something back, at any rate. Spent money is spent. Gifts are gifts, they can’t be used to pay the car payment. this doesn’t sound like a good plan unless you are in a culture where big cash gifts are the norm and even then, I wouldn’t count on it.

Post # 10
756 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

My mom told me the same thing, and it’s a crock.  I didn’t even have a big budget wedding, and excluding immediate family’s gifts, I got about half in cash gifts.  Lots of people don’t even believe in cash gifts, it depends where they are from, so this is even less true in those areas, unless you think you will get rich off returning towels 😛

ETA: I don’t have an exact number for the wedding, but I think it cost around $12-13k, not including the rehearsal dinner.  We got about $6k in monetary gifts, like I said, excluding my parents and grandparents who gifted primarily to pay us back for the wedding since we refused their help.  So we did make money, but only because essentially someone else paid for the wedding in the end.

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 8 months ago by  Kelani23.
Post # 11
11533 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

View original reply
BalletParker:  Exactly.

Unless you are from a culture where the traditional wedding gift is a very large gift of cash, you see only a tiny fraction of your wedding budget in the form of cash gifts. We received many gifts from our registry (including china, crystal, linens, towels) gift cards to restaurants and stores, etc. However, our cash gifts totaled less than five percent of the amount that we spent on our wedding.

Post # 12
7649 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

We probably received a little less than half “back” which I think was very generous.

Plan for what you can afford now. Don’t count on cash gifts.

Post # 13
961 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

These are very classy responses, bees! I agree. Do the wedding you can afford, not expecting any gifts. Budget for your wedding, honeymoon, and any other expenses you anticipate. Gifts can help, but its a different energy if you are literally depending on them. Celebrate every gift, even if the gift is someone’s presence or well wishes on your marriage. Yes, in some cultures, you make money. But, that isn’t everywhere. 

Post # 14
7199 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

View original reply
halahala:  I have friends who are from “Every guest gives $100 minimum” cultures and they did not “break even”, much less gain from their wedding. First- fewer guests abide by that now regardless of cultural expectations. Second- along with the guest “expectation” they were expected to throw lavish, LONG parties, so all their costs went up. 

So even if you are from one of those cultures, I’d still say throw the wedding you can afford and then be grateful for whatever you get without expectation of getting your costs back. 

Post # 15
680 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015 - Beautiful place.

Spent 70k got about 10k in wedding gifts and money.. 

You don’t get your money back, I wasn’t thinking about that, but, since you asked.. It was a great Night!!! 

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