(Closed) Hobbies for opposites? Suggestions please?

posted 9 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
2142 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

It’s not a long term solution but if you’d like him to sit still (with you) even for 15 mn at a time, maybe try watching “The Guild”? It’s about a WoW-like guild, there’s 50 episodes but each are only a few minutes long. The holiday specials are hilarious!
(I’m not even a gamer and I think the show is great, I haven’t gotten around to watching the last season so I don’t know how that was.)

Post # 4
338 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Maybe you could get out of the house to start with. Get a sitter for the kids and take a cooking class together. Go for a walk in the park. Fiance and I are the same way, and going for a walk or hike makes a big difference in how we relate to one another.

Post # 5
1684 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013


We’re a lot like you guys; he has his hobbies, and I have mine. We do both like to read, and there’s a little crossover in the books we like to read, so that helps. We like movies too, but the problem is that there’s no talking. Same thing as Hayley Jane said, the thing we do that helps us feel like we’re spending time together is just going for walks, a half hour or so, in the evening. Usually we end up stretching them out longer because we’re just enjoying hanging out together. (You could do that with  kids, too. Walk to the park or something.)

Post # 6
527 posts
Busy bee

My Mr and I are total opposites as well!

I agree with HayleyJane, just getting out of the house is great even if it’s to sit on the back porch and chat while having a drink.  Mr W and I have started having one hour a day of quality time that does not include phones, tv’s or computers and I love it.  You could go for walks, play cards or board games, cook together, etc.

Post # 8
77 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

You’ve totally described our relationship!

Last summer we started having one night a week where we spend two hours ‘unplugged’ – so we play a board game, go for a walk, or just sit out with a beer planning our next vacation.

We also enjoy going to the gym together, going for walks, lingering over coffee and chatting and browsing at a book store or the mall. 

I did start gaming a few years ago with my Fiance, and it was fun to find a few games we could play together. I suck at video games, but I do like Portal, a racing game, and world of goo. It was fun for him to sit beside me and ‘teach’ me how to play. In turn, he watches Dr. Who with me sometimes. It’s a game of give and take sometimes!

Post # 9
321 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

When I read through your post, I was pretty much nodding my head the entire time (except it’s opposite for us–I’m always fidgeting), but if you want something to do outside, at the house, have a drink in the backyard, sit on the porch, companionable silence? It’s our favorite thing to do.  He’ll smoke a cigar (once and a while) with a scotch and I’ll have a  margarite or whatever.  We usually end up talking about random stuff.. It’s really nice.

Post # 10
5089 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Oh, we’re opposites too in a lot of ways!  I was going to suggest taking long walks together, but the others beat me to it!

Also, might there be ways of bridging your hobbies? For instance, maybe he would like playing board games, in addition to computer games? Something like Scrabble or Trivial Pursuit might appeal to you as a reader and to him as a gamer.  Or having a drink and playing cards together?

If you’re willing to spend a bit, and could find someone to watch the kids, a once-a-week class might be great too.  Learn to tango, or cook, or paint, or whatever.  You could then teach the kids together, too.

Scout out free or cheap events around town – craft or food festivals, theater in the park, etc.  Challenge yourselves to things neither of you has tried before; then you’re both on equal footing as beginners!

Finally, (and this meets all the critieria, I think) look into volunteering together. Cook dinner once a month for a homeless shelter with your kids, if they’re old enough, or walk dogs for the local animal rescue.  Read to kids at the local library. Etc. There’s always tons of need, it’s free, and it’s setting a great example for your kids!

Post # 11
121 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

The Fiance and I are the same, we are so opposite and it can be really hard to find something in common to do. I’d say at times that it bothers both of us that we don’t share more interests; especially when we are excited about something in particular. But it does make us appreciate the things we both enjoy more. 

Going out to eat is something we both enjoy, but it gets expensive. Inexpensive options we’ve discovered so far going for a walk (we usally pick the mall because we don’t have a neighborhood to walk through) and trying to spend time together at home (find shows you both like).

We also are working on a compromise of sorts – for example , if he’s working on his car he’ll ask me come outside and watch. For me that’s so boring so I’ll bring a book with me. We’d rather be together doing different things then on opposite ends of the house.

I’m interested in hearing what others are doing

Post # 12
321 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

View original reply
@middy00: I really like that idea–together but doing different things.  That’s a really good idea.

Post # 14
5109 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2011

I feel like this sometimes. But we go for walks together, go bowling, we go to laser tag.. I know all of these things sound stupid and childish but we really have a lot of fun together.  It also helps to try and take intrest in what they are doing. I hate video games I am really bad at them but I try every once in a while to play with him!!

Post # 15
652 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

DH & I are a lot like this.   The other have mentioned taking a walk, or class together.  Surprisingly, this has helped us.   We both needed to get more exercise, and we both have bad backs.   So, we have started taking water aerobics together at the YMCA.  DH’s new job pays for our membership (which is a very nice benefit), and we decided we wanted to take advantage of stuff there, and this was  a perfect fit for us.  🙂   We’ve also checked out some of the other stuff there together, and it gets us out & about more. 

Post # 16
4822 posts
Honey bee

DH share a lot hobbies, mostly stuff we discovered together. We bike ride, just started playing tennis, wine tasting

Why don’t you sign up for living social if you havent already (assuming they have it in your area) and see what comes though. Do you know what living social is?

And look for events in your area, maybe summer movies played outside in a park, or going to a farmers market together to get that weeks fruit, go get ice cream, go to a local minor league baseball game, pack a picnic and go to the park, go somewhere to listen to live music. 

check your local newspaper for weekly events


Even just BBQing together outside can be good quality time.

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