Post # 1
Here’s the background, I lost my dad almost a year ago, I was engaged a few months after and my mom has been sort of happy for me but has offered to pay for the venue. But it almost feels like she’s doing it out of obligation. I have done all of the planning myself, its just easier without unwanted opinions.
So here’s the deal, it started a few months ago, my mom has started interjecting comments about her future wedding. She is in love with this new guy who I’ve met 3 times, seems like a good guy though. Last week she asked me how I would feel about her getting married. I didn’t know what to say but my body tensed with all of this animosity. She said that he doesn’t want to make any plans until after my wedding (score points for him) so I said we could talk about it after the wedding. She said oh we’re not going to wait that long to tell you. She’s not engaged yet but I can’t stop thinking about how typical this is of her to try to take my moment. I’m picturing her saying we could have a double wedding since she’s paying for it anyway. It hasn’t even been a year since her husband of 31 years passed away!
Am I crazy that this is bothering me so much? Should I talk to her about it? Even though she would probably call me selfish and threaten to not pay for the venue?
Thanks for reading my rant 🙂
Post # 3
Totally understandable that you’re bothered. That would drive me nuts. But, I can imagine she is feeling manic and excited about meeting someone she likes so soon after your dad.
I guess she might be dealing with her stuff in her own way. If it seems like he’s a good guy, I’d just tell her to enjoy the moment and hopefully she’ll wait for your wedding to pass before seriously considering anything.
I can only imagine how it feels to have a father or a spouse pass away, so I think you guys must both be dealing with lots of emotions… maybe hers aren’t coming across in the best of ways.
Post # 4
I guess what I meant to say was that if it was me, I would casually suggest to her that she bide her time for a while…
Post # 5
Although I haven’t been in your situation, I know my mom went through some of the same emotions when her father (my grandpa) remarried. She wasn’t planning a wedding herself, so she didn’t have to deal with that side of the drama — and I can’t imagine that at all. Anyway, it wasn’t very long after my grandma’s death, that my grandpa started dating again. Within a couple years (so, yes, a little bit longer), he called my mom to say he was getting remarried. It was very hard for my mom to see my grandpa dating and ultimately marrying, because she really missed her mom. But, it’s been several years now, and I honestly feel that if my grandpa hadn’t found someone that made him happy so quickly, he probably wouldn’t be with us any longer. It’s still hard for my mom, but I think she realizes now how good it has been for her dad. He wasn’t used to being alone, so being alone would have killed him.
Anyway, I don’t know if this will help at all, but I thought I’d share my limited experience in the hopes that maybe it will help a little.
I hope that you have a wonderful wedding planning process and that none of your mom’s drama affects your wedding day!