(Closed) Holding myself accountable to change and implement Mr. Bee’s plan TODAY = Day 1

posted 10 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
8943 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Good luck!  It really worked for me.

Post # 4
Member
2223 posts
Buzzing bee

1st off: Welcome to the Bee! πŸ™‚

2nd: I’m not sure how long it’s been since I broached the marriage subject with my guy. 2 nights ago we talked about my right hand ring looking similar to the engagement ring I want one day. But it was fashion jewelry related, not quite wedding related. And before that it’s been so long I don’t have a clear memory of when I last brought it up. I don’t typically struggle with it, but I like knowing that lots of time has passed between our discussions. Makes me feel like they are natural rather than forced.

But I’m inspired. πŸ™‚ My next “possible proposal month” is September. So in light of your new goal I’d like to join you. I will keep my mouth securely sealed with you until September 5th and I can’t wait to see your posts in the future. Good luck!!! πŸ™‚

Post # 5
Member
63 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Well, i’m not in this boat with you, but I do empathize to a degree.  I just can’t imagine getting so upset over something that is inevitable.  You know its coming.  He’s even gone as far as to ask your father for your hand.  Its not a trick or some slight of hand.  Its coming, any day now, so why are you being so bent out of shape because it’s not on your time line?  

I’ve known several of my sorority sisters to do this exact same thing and talk themselves right out of a boyfriend/fiancé.  They weren’t the desperate, clingy, controlling type either, but this one concept made them nuts.  One of the former to be fiancés even enlisted a few of us to help him pick out the ring and come up with a really sweet plan of action to ask her, but she couldn’t let it go that he didn’t ask her on her birthday.  She blew up at him in the middle of a social night, one evening, and turned to walk out on him when he grabbed her arm, spun her around and threw the ring he’d had in his pocket for weeks in her face. He told her that she was a spoiled brat and that he was grateful she’d shown her true colours to him before he’d asked her to share his life with him.  They never recovered and she is still single to this day.  (He is happily married to one of my other sisters) 

My point is, get a grip on yourself. You are on the right path, coming here for support, but seriously- calm down.  This isn’t as big a deal as you are making it.  He probably feels all this pressure on him to make this amazing speech and to create this “perfect moment” for you and you aren’t helping by blowing up on him every other day that he’s not done it yet.  You’re right, this is cyclical and you are the only one who can break the cycle.  

So keep going to the gym, keep hanging out with your pals, keep coming here when you feel weak, but you have got to let it go.  A man needs a certain amount of control over things in his life and this is something you’re just gonna have to give him, hun.  

 

*hugs*  So here is your reality check.  Cash it in any time, right here.  πŸ™‚  

Post # 6
Member
63 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

sorry, this was a duplicate post.  

Post # 7
Member
1200 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

@MsGigi Great advice. We all need this reminder from time-to-time.

@futuremrsbb I’m not quite at the point you’re at but I’ll certainly try to help hold you accountable. I will so be in your shoes in about 6-9 months if I haven’t gotten a proposal yet! πŸ™‚

Post # 8
Member
54 posts
Worker bee

This sounds like a very healthy thing to do.  I’ve read Mr. Bee’s Plan, but I’m not quite sure who he is and what his credentials are.  Whoever he is, his plan seems to be working for a lot of people!  Your attitude seems very positive and this board is great for support during those moments of weakness.  Keep us posted on your progress or anything Mr. B has to say.  

Oh also…you might not want to make the Jimmy Choos a daily reward or you won’t have anything left to spend on the wedding!  

 

 

Post # 9
Member
1316 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Good luck – it is about living your life and not waiting for it to start. Sooner he realises that your not just going to mope and hang around waiting, you enjoy your life and it may kickstart him thinking “hang on, if I don’t do something quick, she may just decide to go on and live her life without me”

Its reverse pychology – take away what hes used to (you) and he will want you more.

Post # 10
Member
89 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

what the heck is Mr. Bee’s plan? 

Post # 11
Member
329 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@futuremrsbb: Woo Hoo! *sprays champagne on everyone*

Good for you. It’s tough to do at first, but eventually it feels fantastic!

Gwen

Post # 12
Member
68 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I got your back!! You go girl!!

Post # 13
Member
2200 posts
Buzzing bee

good luck

Post # 14
Member
82 posts
Worker bee

@futuremrsbb: Good luck! I’m waiting until the end of the month…Fi has told me he will propose this month so I’m on pins and needles waiting for him to ask me.  It’s so hard NOT to mention marriage to him, and I really really struggle with it every day.  if I do do it, I try to do it in a teasing way, but I have to think about it conciously because otherwise I’d be a mess.  Good thing I have a lot of stuff to keep us busy this month.

Post # 15
Member
16 posts
Newbee

I am SO joining you on this. I do the EXACT same thing… word vomit at it’s finest, I tell you!! Thanks for this challenge, I am ON BOARD!! *(Jimmy) choo choo*

Post # 16
Member
1431 posts
Bumble bee

This Mr. Bee guy has absolutely no credentials.  Don’t listen to a word he says!!!!!

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