(Closed) Holiday Cards Before You’re Engaged

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
3587 posts
Sugar bee

I don’t see a problem with it, especially if you live together.  But if he’s uncomfortable, wait.

Post # 4
Member
77 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I don’t think it’s strange. 

I went back and forth on buying photo cards this year – I think we’re getting engaged on Saturday (!!!!) but I’m not supposed to know and I didn’t want to let on that I thought something was up, so I just bought regular cards. I’m not writing them yet, though…

Post # 5
Member
1237 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I’m wondering about it too. I think I’ll get some but send them to our family only, I’m sure our friends would make fun of us.

Post # 6
Member
232 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I think it’s a bit unexpected, and a lot of people (especially older generations) tend to misinterpret it.  One of FH’s cousins sent one out last Christmas (and they still aren’t engaged), and everyone in the family was kind of confused.  Some thought it was an engagement announcement or hint, some thought it was inappropriate, etc. 

As for me, I think sending out Christmas cards is one of those cute things you get to do for the first time once you’re engaged or married, so I was eager to preserve that for the next chapter of our relationship… but that’s just me.

Post # 7
Member
229 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I received one from a couple like that a couple years ago (they’re now married). I didn’t make fun of it certainly, but I did think it was a little over-eager. I say send a card that’s totally you this year – it’s your last chance! ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 8
Member
2204 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I received one a few years ago from a couple that wasn’t engaged “yet”…and then they broke. Kinda awkward.

I’m not saying your relationship is like that, but I personally wouldn’t have sent out cards before being engaged. That’s just me though.

Post # 9
Member
3068 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

We did holiday cards before we were engaged. Family is family ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 10
Member
548 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

We’ve sent out holiday cards for the past 2 or 3 years, and this will be our first Christmas engaged. We didn’t do photo cards, but I don’t see why that would make a difference. We’ll probably send cards to more family members now that we’re getting married, especially because our Save-The-Date Cards will probably go out not long before our holiday cards. Also, my mom has done family photo Christmas cards with Fiance included in the picture before we were engaged. No biggie.

Post # 11
Member
6597 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

We did them for years before we were engaged!

As well as all my friends who live with their SOs!

Post # 12
Member
1954 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I’ve been with my bf for 4 years. I did personalized xmas card with us and our cat for the first time last year, and just got our order in for the cards this year. I probably would have done them before but we were in school and spending $$ on holiday cards was not a priority. 

I’m not sure why it would be weird or over-eager, to be honest. I don’t see how getting a card from a not engaged couple who then later breaks up is any different than from a married couple who then gets divorced. It’s not like you save the cards and re display them every year. If the couple breaks up in January…well, I’d hope your christmas cards were down by that point, anyways. It’s just a christmas/holiday greeting. Not sure why you need to be engaged to wish your family and friends a merry christmas, but maybe that’s just me.  If I wasn’t with my bf, I’d probably send one out with just a pic my cat like my friend does. I don’t find that weird at all.

Post # 13
Member
59 posts
Worker bee

I don’t think it’s weird at all… SO & I are doing it this year and we have been together 3 years. 

With that said, one of my best friends asked her bf if they could do it and he had a similar reaction saying that he thought his friends and family would think it was “weird.” I really think it depends on your living situation, how long you’ve been dating, etc. 

Post # 14
Member
87 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

We are now engaged, but we have been sending Christmas cards out together sonce we moved in with each other. Never thought twice about it! ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 15
Member
2476 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I wanted to do photo holiday cards while we were engaged but Darling Husband was totally against it!  He told me “let’s wait till we’re married”… soooooooooo, I get to get them done THIS year, yay!  ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 16
Member
569 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I think it’s totally fine if you live together. My brother and his gf have been sending them out for two years, even though they’re long distance and live in different states. No one in my family said anything, though I secretly thought it was absurd. I guess I’m just snarky like that. ๐Ÿ˜‰

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