(Closed) holiday family question

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: When did you start spending big holidays with your SO even if it meant being apart from your family?
    Sometime before engagement : (20 votes)
    69 %
    Once you got engaged : (3 votes)
    10 %
    Once you got married : (5 votes)
    17 %
    Other : (1 votes)
    3 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    11325 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2011

    I think either way is fine, really. Fiance and I always spend thanksgiving together at my family because his family doesn’t really do thanksgiving that much, but Christmas we split when he wants to go home (which is not every year because it is a flight). Even last Christmas after we were engaged he took 10 days off work to go see his mom (who he sees once every 12-18 months so he tries to make them longer trips when he goes) for Christmas and I went home for my family. Both because I wanted to be with my family for Christmas and because I couldn’t take as much time off work. So I don’t think its weird to spend engaged holidays apart… but I also don’t think its weird to want to be together. Whatever you do has to work for you. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    11325 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2011

    **Just thought of a “compromise” though… since you want to be with your family and he wants to be with you… why doesn’t he just go to your family’s house for Christmas? Presumably with them living so far apart you two will do a every other year rotation thing, right? So you could just start that this year with YOUR family getting you for Christmas and then everyone would be happy. 

    Post # 6
    Member
    11325 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2011

    Yea I don’t know… if I were you I’d be a little annoyed because either way he gets to spend the holiday with his family so by taking a strong pre-marriage stance on it he’s really just saying he wants you to not spend Christmas with yours. But I’m sure you two will work it out. 

    Post # 7
    Member
    3314 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    My husband was 6k miles (9 hours time diff) away from me before we got married, so spending time together -not to mention holidays- was difficult.  Now that we are married and living together, we are spending our first holidays together.  🙂  He’s kinda stuck with spending the holidays with my family (we currently live with them) but he likes my family very much so he’s not TOO bummed about it.  I know he’ll be missing his family though.

    Post # 9
    Member
    14186 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2009

    What about spending time after the holiday with your family? Or Christmas Eve?

    In my family, as long as they get to see us, even if it’s not on THE day, they’re pretty cool with it. Family Time is Family Time

    Post # 10
    Member
    365 posts
    Helper bee

    What about hosting it at yours?  Or spending it just together the two of you, say you’re saving up for the wedding?

    Start your own traditions 🙂

    Post # 11
    Member
    2889 posts
    Sugar bee

    We rotate where to spend Christmas and started doing so from our second Christmas on. Since we are far from both families we usually spend Christmas and New Years in the same place. This year, we used all of our vacation for the wedding and honeymoon and didn’t want a rushed holiday so we’ll stay home for Christmas and spend NYE with his friends. Generally we’ll visit the family we don’t see at Christmas in the months before or after. Since my family is further away, the year we didn’t go to them for Christmas we had spent a week with them in October which coincided with a freind’S wedding and a milestone family birthday. When we didn’t see DH’s family we visited 2 weeks before and had a long weekend with them (they are closer so we can see them more). Next year we’re planning Thanksgiving with mine and Christmas with his. Of the 4 Christmases we’ve lived together we spent one apart, 2 with my family and one with his.

    Post # 12
    Member
    576 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    we started switching sides once we were engaged, but it wasnt because we were engaged. we would have done it even if we werent engaged because we were tired of running around and not spending quality time with any one family.

    Post # 13
    Member
    1093 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: Private home

    We’re on a rotation – Since we got married last year close to his family,which meant they got Thanksgiving, the wedding and the after-honeymoon visit,  my fam got first dibs on Christmas this year.  Thanksgiving is not as big a deal to my family, though they enjoyed spending thanksgiving with my husband’s family so much last year that even though next year is supposed to be with my family, my parents may be coming to visit HIS parents! 

    Post # 14
    Member
    6572 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 2010

    We’re lucky enough to have parents that live close to us. We’re Jewish so we have a lot of different holidays, and we’ll just go to one parent’s house one night and the other the next. Our parents are ok with us not being there on the actual day of the holiday, they’re just glad we come.

    We’ve been going to each other’s parents for holidays since we started dating. For me, as much as I love my family, it’s more important for me to be with him.

    The topic ‘holiday family question’ is closed to new replies.

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