- 5 years ago
- Wedding: June 2012
My Father-In-Law has been in town staying with us since Monday. He leaves tomorrow — tomorrow NIGHT, that is. Darling Husband and I are on the brink of homicide. When we originally invited him to come up and visit for the holidays, he was supposed to fly in on the 23rd and leave the 26th. It wasn’t until he got here that we realized he wasn’t leaving until Saturday.
I have written a number of posts about my Father-In-Law before. The short version of the story is that he is a wonderful man; kind, caring, generous, and wants only to make us happy. But he also happens to be one of the most deeply irritating people I have ever met in my life.
I mean, have you ever met someone who gets on your nerves so completely that everything they do starts to bug you? Like, they could hand you a $100 bill and somehow even THAT would annoy you?
That is my Father-In-Law.
He’s a handful to deal with, like a child. So even when he tries to help, it just ends up being a disaster and making more work for me. Like, he’ll try to be helpful and do laundry, but he’ll do it wrong, won’t read washing instructions, and will end up ruining something or making it so that I have to redo the laundry. Or he’ll try to tidy up the house but he’ll put things away in the wrong spot or doing something stupid. He always tries to help us out by washing dishes. WE HAVE A DISHWASHER. You hand-washing the bowl you used for dinner is not actually helpful. You receive no points for doing it.
He’s the kind of guy where you take him to the grocery store and he wanders off while you’re in line to pay because he wants to “grab one last thing” … but then he’s gone for so long that you have to surrender your spot in the line, and when he finally comes back, he has like 5 gallons of ice cream in his arms even though we don’t eat ice cream and we don’t have room for it in the freezer so you have to tell him to put it all back and he looks all butthurt like you just kicked him in the nads and OH MY GOD PLEASE SEND HIM BACK TO CALIFORNIA.
This morning I got up for work and found that both the freezer and refrigerator doors were open slightly.
It was Father-In-Law that did this. He tried to stuff more ice cream into the freezer even though we said there wasn’t room (after he passive-aggressively walked to Safeway in the cold to buy it) and of course I was right about there not being room and the freezer popped open and was open all night. We had to throw away several packages of pork chops because they had thawed out and I wasn’t about to risk eating them.
He’s a nice man. He’s a nice man. He’s a nice man.
Get him out of my house. Oh lordy lordy, get him out of my house.
Anyone else about to murder family members who flocked to town over the holidays? Thank god I get to go to work!! Darling Husband is home with him and the baby all day and yeeesh I feel like I owe him like 1000 blow jobs for dealing with that all day long!!!