Post # 1
Member
2037 posts
Buzzing bee
I was talking to my FMIL today about holiday plans. She is very excited for her son and I to arrive and wants to make plans to go to a casino and hang out (heck yeah!) and has offered to pay for a room for all of us. I’m all about this and offered to help pay as well!! I asked about everyone else and I felt sad…one of her sons and his wife is unable to attend bc he just got a new job and has to work on xmas. Her other son and new bride were supposed to be there on 12/26 (I talked to FSIL about 3 weeks ago and this was the plan), and I asked today and FMIL about FSIL/Son and she said she didn’t know what their plans were anymore. SO and I are heading up on 12/26 and we thought it was the plan for everyone to show up then too.
I suppose I’m being a worry wart, but now I’m wondering if I should reach out and try to see if FSIL is coming, or if I should assume that FSIL/Son and FMIL have already talked. I suppose I’m also afraid of coming across as a neurotic control freak if I start texting everyone and trying to make plans (I mean…SO and I aren’t even engaged yet lol).
Should I just go with the flow and see what happpens? Or start reaching out and seeing what everyone is doing?
Post # 3
Member
45631 posts
Honey Beekeeper
@veryberry13: I think it might be better if your SO contacted his brother to find out what their plans are. If you already have a close relationship with FSIL, then certainly email or text her to see what they have decided about the holidays.
Post # 4
Member
2037 posts
Buzzing bee
@julies1949: I wouldn’t say that I have the closest relationship with FSIL but we do make an effort.
I think it probably is a good idea to encourage SO to text his brother, so maybe in the morning I’ll ask him to do this.
Post # 5
Member
2977 posts
Sugar bee
Is it really a big deal? Sounds like you get along well with the FFIN.
Post # 6
Member
11760 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
@veryberry13: I think you and your husband should stay out of it. His brother and wife are a family unit now that can make their own plans and don’t need pressure from others. He has a wife now and they need to do what’s best for their family while accommodating both sides. I just don’t think it’s anyone’s place. Id be super annoyed if someone was contacting me about it. It’s 2 months away I’m sure they will le everyone know when they figure it out.
Post # 7
Member
2037 posts
Buzzing bee
@Misswhowedding: haha I guess it’s not a big deal, I guess I’m worried about people getting left out of a totally awesome casino trip but I don’t know why they would (?)…I just overthink things too much (which is why this site is helpful to me 
)
@MrsWBS: I hadn’t actually considered how stressful it probably is for newleyweds to think about how they are going to spend the holidays….I just assumed that it would be like it’s been but I do know that the FSIL has two sets of parents to worry about on xmas…then her husband’s fam as well.
I really appreciate the perspective, thanks for your replies!
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