Post # 1
- Wedding: January 2016 - Church in Shedd Oregon
Okay I was not at all trying to get pregnant. In fact I have been on BC for a while now and getting regular periods so when I didnt get one this month I got worried and took a pregnancy test. I took that test this morning and it was positve. LIKE WAAAAAY POSITIVE. It explains the weird stuff going on with me but now i’m wondering what’s the point of BC if its so easy to get pregnant on it? Appearantly it’s not all that uncommon.
So now what? I paid for my wedding dress already and all of the accessories (over 2K) and theres no refunds or exchanges and my dress wont arrive from Europe for another 6 months (which was okay at the time), but now that i’m pregnant how am i going to fit into it? Also my fiance and I want to get married right away at city hall so I can go on his insurance in order to see a certain doctor his mom recommended. It’s like i’m mourning the loss of the wedding I wanted while reveling in the fact that I have this beautiful life inside me. I don’t know what to feel right now. I really like what my soon to be mother in law told me when we broke the news to her, it’s unplanned but not unwanted.
Our wedding was supposed to be in vegas january 21st 2016 but with a baby on the way IDK if we can afford it anymore. Sure we can keep the timeline that wont be a problem but will I fit into my dress after giving birth? Will I have to give up the dream wedding I wanted becasue we’re now supporting a baby? So many questions running through my head. It doesn’t help that i’m a smoker and since seeing the positive test I havent picked up a pack.
PLZ help me bee’s i need support and encouragement!
Post # 2
If this is still fairly new news, just give yourself a moment to let it all set in, don’t make any decisions just yet. Once you have a bit of clarity, look at all your options, the pros and cons and decide what is really important. Even if your ‘dream’ wedding has to change a little, I have no doubt it will still be just as special!
I can totally understand that logistically, you have a lot on your mind right now but oh my gosh.. you have so many exciting things to look forward to as well! Enjoy it! 🙂
Post # 3
I think your January 2016 wedding is still doable for sure- yes, you will have a one year old. No, you won’t be able to do tons of irresponsible drinking/gambling/etc…but if you already have stuff booked/money down, it is doable.
I guess that your dress fitting would partially be mother nature, but from what I have heard (I am due in 6 weeks) if you work at it you can usually be back to pretty close to your prebaby weight within 8mo-1 year no problem. Your waist/hip measurements might be a little different, but probably not by enough to trash the whole dress idea.
As far as getting married super fast for insurance- have you looked at a domestic partnership? We are waiting to get married until our son is old enough to be a ring bearer, but since my insurance acknowledges domestic partnerships we are doing that now so that FH can be on my insurance. In our state it is $50 to get one. We (and by we I mean I haha) wasn’t willing to get married super fast just because of our baby…I want the wedding I want when I am the size I want to be so I am not rushing anything 🙂
Post # 4
Why don’t you Just do do the city hall thing and then do a big to do after tyour settled with the baby? Congrats!
Post # 5
I echo an earlier response to not make any decisions right in this moment, but I bet you’d like some cool options to think about. What about nixing the dress and the 2016 wedding because they’re both further out than is ideal for you and using whatever funds you have left and resources you already have in your possession to throw a kickin’ reception in a few months? You could get married at city hall right away, and still have a party within a timeframe where it still seems like a celebration to you.
Best of luck to you!
Post # 6
Domestic partnership may have a higher tax liability on the pay (meaning like an extra 80 paid off in taxes per paycheck). I think that you need to think about it but a marriage at city hall is not a poor choice. A real big wedding on January 2016 is completely doable, it is better to have gotten the dress now really if you take the time to drop the baby weight the 9 months following. Congrats!!
Post # 7
- Wedding: January 2016 - Church in Shedd Oregon
Miss_E_xx: Yes the news is so fresh, I just found out i’m having a baby less than 24 hours ago and already i’m making all these decisions in my head and asking all these questions. It is really exhausting and scary. I really do just need to let it sink in.
JustMe12182: I think the 2016 big wedding might be doable but becasue we haven’t made any down payments or signed any contractsyet with the venues we wanted (thank god) I’m rethinking the whole idea. We might have it in Oregon at his mothers church (much more affordable) vs. flying to vegas and having a themed wedding. I don’t want a domestic partnership becasue it’s really important to me that we are married before I give birth. I want to have the same last name and feel like a family unit in every way possible (not that domestic partnerships are any less).
hiaud: I really don’t want to nix my dress becasue I love it SOOOOOOO much. I actually cried the most when it sunk in that I might not be able to fit it anymore. It’s the greatest dress in the whole entire world! lol. If it wasn’t for this amazing dress and wanting to wear it so bad I would be okay just not having a wedding at all and be fine with just city hall.
Thank you for the responses, ideas and encouragement you guys
Post # 8
Brimuz1992: I’m sorry that this has become a big shock in your system. I do believe though that you could still make your 2016 january wedding work! that is still more than 18 months away and the baby would arrive by then with all things going smoothly.
May I ask what kind of symptoms you had apart from not getting your period? I use BC and sometimes I worry as well 🙁
Post # 9
things happen for a reason. Try not to stress about whats out of your control (fitting in your dress) somethings will be different than you originally intended, but different doesnt mean less/worse/bad. Its just different. Best advice is to plan what you can. Shop for a back up dress, find one and wait untill the last possible minute to order it (incase you cant use your first choice).
Theres a lot of time between now and January 2016. More than 1 year and a half. So you have some time to adjust to the changes and such.
Post # 10
I think you can absolutely still make your 2016 wedding work!
I became pregnant a little earlier than planned (8 months before our scheduled wedding). I already had things booked and my dress arrived 3 weeks after I found out I was pregnant.
We ended up moving the wedding date to 8 months after I gave birth. I had NO issues with fitting back into my size 2 dress. From breastfeeding, I actually lost more weight, and had to have the dress taken in a bit (plus, I had awesome breastfeeding boobs which allowed me to “fill out” the dress better up top! lol!)
You have lots of time to make some minor adjustments to your wedding plans if need be. If you are able to breastfeed, or even consider cloth diapering, the cost of a new baby is minimal after you buy a carseat and a crib! That first year really was not a huge change for us financially.
Good luck and congrats on your expected bundle 🙂
Post # 11
I have no idea about babies in regards to costs and baby weight but I think you could get marry secretly and just don’t tell anyone or change your name yet. Or wear your bands. if you’re anything like me you’ll forget and still be excited for the wedding lol
and I also wanted to say congratulations!! 🙂 x
Post # 12
I am confused about why you think you can’t have your wedding dress after you have your baby. You’ll have a full year to get yourself back into great shape. Like another poster, I weigh less now than before I became pregnant.<br /><br />Let it sink in and try to enjoy!! Congratulations!!
Post # 13
Brimuz1992: First things first, Congrats! Secondly, your 2016 wedding is 100% do-able!
I got pregnant in September 2013 and my wedding is November 2014. We did the quick city hall and are sitll going to have our big wedding and our son will only be 6 months! If we can do you, you can do it!! You have time to loose the weight and make it happen.
Your Mother-In-Law is right! It may be unplanned but not unwanted. When I found out I was pregnant I was “selfish” and was upset to be a mom before a bride, but after I got over it (took like a week) I was on cloud 9! I have a beautiful baby boy growing inside of me (due in just 10 days) and I’m so blessed, and now so are YOU!
Embrace it! Lots of luck to you and yours. May you have a wonderful pregnancy, healthy child, and beautiful wedding.
Post # 14
I wanted to congratulate you on quitting smoking as well as on your pregnancy! I know it’s hard but I have a lot of respect for you doing everything you can for your baby!
Also, I would do a city hall wedding with maybe just your nearest and dearest (like parents) and then throw an awesome reception party in Oregon once the baby’s here and you can wear your dress.
Post # 15
Get married before the baby, and do a vow renewal with the wedding of your dreams in 2016. That’s what I would do. I’m sure you’ll be able to fit into your dress!