Post # 1
Backstory–my lovely roommate dated this guy for a really long time (we’ll call him P.). He was basically a jerk to her in every stereotypical way you can think of. Including demanding that they go on a “break” whenever he found someone he thought might be better. Yup–he would say “We need a break.” then start dating someone else, then get bored with them and come back to my roomie. I’ve seen her cry so many times over this guy. Well, he moved out of state and the relationship basically fizzled. He came and visited once or twice and that was it. My roommate ending up dating an AWESOME guy who has been her best friend since high school. It was one of those “oh…THERE you are…” situations. When she finishes up school this year she’s going to move to where he is (he’s a screenwriter–give you a few guesses) and I guess get engaged then have a giant catholic wedding then have lots of babies and be very happy.
Trouble is–she never informed P. that she’s now with someone. She basically just ceased communication and hoped he’s get the hint that she’d moved on. They broke up FOREVER ago. Well he just texted her a few minutes ago and basically said “Hey. I’m getting on a plane in the morning. I’ll be there tomorrow.”
Classic P. fashion. “oh wait I’m losing her gotta get my shit together.” Too little, too late.
Also–rude! You’re going to send a TEXT message to say you’ll be here tomorrow? Out of nowhere??
To make it even better-my roommate has rehearsal from 9 to 5. And my hours got cut so I’m not scheduled to work this week. Roomie has informed I am under NO obligation to entertain P.–who doesn’t know he’s sleeping on the couch.
She knows he shouldn’t be here at all, but her hands are tied. He’s already traveled TO the airport location and is staying with a friend. She’s planning on letting him come and then telling him once he’s gone home. But won’t he question her making him sleep on the couch?
Bees, how do we get outta this one?!
Post # 3
She needs to get ahold of him NOW and tell him she’s with someone else and has no interest in him. That way, he can cancel his flight. You stated he’s at a friend’s house near the airport, so that means his flight hasn’t left. If he manages to come to town, then she needs to give him directions to the nearest hotel and avoid seeing him.
Post # 4
Um, how about you tell the guy he can’t stay here?
Your roommate is asking for trouble, letting this guy come, stay over, and sleep over. Her hands are NOT tied–all she has to do is say no. By letting him stay over, she’s begging for trouble.
Post # 5
@MissHoneyBun: I dunno but I will be logging on tomorrow to see how this unfolds!
Post # 6
She needs to call him now (no, seriously, RIGHT NOW) and tell him not to get on a plane tomorrow. Barring that, she should make up a list of motels in the area for you to give to him when he shows up on your step tomorrow. If she lets him stay on the couch, that’s just sending mixed signals and setting herself up for disaster.
Post # 7
I think she should text him back and say he can’t come.
Post # 8
Uh….don’t open the door when he comes! I don’t care how far he traveled, under no circumstances would I see him, speak with him and certainly not let him in my house, if I were either of you.
Post # 9
He sounds like a class act. Like the PP’s have said, she needs to get ahold of him and tell him that he needs to make other arrangements. She is in a great relationship now, she doesn’t need to have anything to do with “P”. I imagine her boyfriend would not be too thrilled knowing that “P” was staying with you guys.
Post # 10
I wouldn’t let him in. Why doesn’t she call him and tell him not to come? I don’t get it.
Post # 11
WHAT!!!! No no no. He cannot come and stay over unless your friend wants to be single again. If her new bf finds out it will be disastarous… couch or not. She needs to stand up and put a stop to this guy using her. Does he have a key? Who is going to let him in? If it were me he’d be standing outside knocking on the door all day especially since he invited himself. I would have serious problems if my bf’s ex came and stayed with him regauardless of the reason. Her hands are not tied she does not run a hotel he can’t just pop up whenever he desires. Tell her to put her big girl panties on and DO NOT let him in the house under any circumstances!!!
Post # 12
does the roommate’s bf know what’s going on? i agree with the others, i think this is a recipe for a disaster. besides, why is she obligated to be courteous to P when he’s not been courteous to her? she needs to tell him before he shows up her door and everything blows up.
Post # 13
I’ll let you guys know what happens. I think she’s asleep…so I guess we’ll all find out tomorrow…
Post # 14
She needs to tell him now and if he is already on the plane, then as soon as he lands! NOthing good ever comes frm having an ex around and just spells disaster. He should not stay in the house and she should feel she has no obligations to him. The best you can do is be there to suport her, but with what you have described, it sounds like P. is going to manipulate the situation and cause major problems. Good luck and I hope she does the right thing!
Post # 15
I agree with the PP’s….she needs to tell him now. And she def should not let him sleep over. How would her boyfriend feel about her ex, who has no idea he exists, sleeping over? Is it worth the risk to her current relationship?
Post # 16
If he shows up, she needs to send him to a hotel. He can not stay there.