(Closed) Holy Crap! Very Private Messages Got Shared On Facebook!

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 62
Member
567 posts
Busy bee

Oh crap! I’m going through facebook now deleting any old messages at least on my side so I don’t accidentally get them shared. 

Post # 63
Member
567 posts
Busy bee

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@paula1248:  I think OP said that the friend’s phone messed up and started adding people to the conversation; it happens.

Post # 64
Member
7638 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

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@emmrr3:  It’s still the friend’s responsibility. She should learn to use her phone properly.

Post # 65
Member
3106 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

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@paula1248:  report her for bullying? It was an accident. 

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@Kat:  this really sucks, but maybe there is a lesson here. It sounds like you talked a lot of shit and gossiped a bunch- real mean girl stuff. Blah blah karma blah goes around blah blah. But maybe instead of hiding from this learn that talking shit almost always comes back to you. I am surely no angel but I can’t think of anything I have written about people I care about that would have me closing my account, changing my name and threatening to rip people’s throats out. 

If you have that much negativity in your life maybe you need to work with a therapist to change your perspective. I’m sure you will be pissed at this comment, but think about it anyway. 

Post # 66
Member
1652 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Yep, Facebook is pretty dangerous!

Post # 67
Member
11735 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Ugh that sucks. It will all blow over eventually and people will forget. lesson learned to never write anything down you wouldn’t want others to see! I always make sure to have sensitive conversations via phone or in person.

I don’t get “blaming” fb. Its counterproductive. Sorry but it’s not their fault so I think you need to take personal responsibility for your actions. Apologize genuinely to your sister instead of trying to think of reasons you can blackmail her into keeping quiet. 

Post # 68
Member
1646 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

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@Kat:  I wouldn’t recommend putting anything else into writing, no matter how “private” you believe the method. Emails can be hacked or sent to the wrong people. Diaries or blogs can be read by the wrong people. Letters can be opened and read by the wrong person or sent to the wrong address by mistake. And, as you found out, facebook isn’t really reliable.

If you want to talk about something in the future, I would suggest calling them if its possible. You may get overheard, but at least it isn’t in writing where anyone can see it for themselves or use it against you. Or, if possible, have the chats in person.

Your sister has every right to be upset about what happened, even if what you said was true and is deserved. It isn’t like she randomly found out about this or anything; this was sent to dozens of people, many of whom probably know her. Being publicly humiliated is tough, as I’m sure you also understand. It doesn’t give her the right to mess things up with your in-laws though and if she does then I hope you take a firm stand with her on that. Until then, just try to be understanding that she was probably completely humiliated and hurt. She could very well become more reasonable with time.

As for your friend, it sounds as if it was an honest mistake. If she had done it on purpose with the intent to hurt you and your other friend then I would say write her off completely and report her to facebook. However, it doesn’t sound like thats the case. It’s perfectly normal to be upset with her, but try to remember that she it doesn’t sound like she intended to harm you in any way and it was (I believe) an honest mistake.

And your friends may have specific reasons for not changing or deactivating their accounts. Yeah, it really sucks that the messages won’t disappear because of it, but there isn’t much you can do about that.

Post # 69
Member
836 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Facebook sucks and is very much an invasion of one’s own privacy. That being said, it isn’t fb’s fault on this one. This is why a person should not hook their phone up to their facebook. This is one of the many reasons why one shouldn’t hook their phone up to social sites.

Doing this makes one a hackers dream, seriously. Think about all of the info shared and stored on a smart phone. Social sites are among the most hacked, second only to porn. Hooking your phone up to these sites is the same as leaving your safe outside with the keys in it. Be safe with that.

Post # 70
Member
11533 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

You mentioned that your friend whose phone accidentally did this is the one person in this conversation who didn’t actually say anything self-incriminating, and you also noted that so many people who are close to YOU were added to this conversation. This just does not add up for me. Are you certain that this was an accident and not some sort of vengeful set-up by this “friend”?

Post # 71
Member
6737 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

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@Kat:  Honestly, don’t worry about the things you said. Most people won’t go back and read too much of your convo. And the ones that do will eventually forget adn everything will just blow over, as it always does. I’m glad you guys have a plan of action moving forward.

Post # 72
Member
6890 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

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@Kat:  Exactly! I never even figured out *why* she was on the site in the first place reading my posts, because she wasn’t even dating anyone at the time. It for sure made me rethink how much personal info I posted.

Post # 73
Member
603 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

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@Kat:  How about emailing friends saying that your FB account has been hacked and you have had to make another one….this happens quite often I hear so it may get you off the hook! Good luck!

Post # 75
Member
838 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2008

@Kat:  I guess that means now you have to own up to your mess instead of running from it by deactivating your account and acting like it never happened. See, this stuff seems to happen to people who want to talk about someone behind their back and then smile in front of their faces. You know that saying “what’s done in the dark….”

At least those people get to see you for who you really are now and that can only be a good thing.

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