- 5 years ago
- Wedding: October 2010
I’ve tried to post this site several times, but it won’t take so do a google search on Hurt by Homebirth
This site is purposefully not allowing me to post the link to Hurt by Homebirth. Please go read the stories there and bring a tissue…
“A few years removed from the active practice of midwifery now, I find myself wondering how I allowed myself to become so convinced that having and encouraging others to have a nonhospital birth was such a good idea. I called up a friend who had two home births, the last one with me, and asked her, “If you had to buy a car seat for your baby, and one car seat had been rated by Consumer Reports as having two to three times the risk of death or profound injury compared to other car seats, would you buy that car seat?” “Of course not,” she replied. “What if it was the most beautiful, comfortable car seat in the world, really easy to carry around, easy to install, and your baby would just love sitting in it?” I continued. “No way,” she replied. “What would you say about a parent who did buy that car seat?” I asked. “I’d say they were making a poor decision.””
“If a mother was considering a nonhospital birth to avoid interventions, even though she was totally aware of the increased risk to her baby, I would encourage her to speak to mothers who have lost babies before making such a choice. I spoke to one such mother online under the condition of anonymity: “I didn’t realize the risks when I was pregnant. I thought having a c-section was the worst possible outcome, so I chose home birth to avoid that. I wish to God I hadn’t abhorred the idea of a c-section so much. I lost my child because I chose home birth, and I wouldn’t have at the hospital. I wish I would have instead been in the hospital, upset that I had a cesarean but holding a live baby, instead of at home with empty arms.” I asked her, “How many surgeries is a baby worth?” She replied instantly: “A million.””
However, I haven’t made a decision yet and since the majority of birth stories I read (and enjoy!) on here are hospital births, I wanted to hear some home birth stories. As I’ve said…I haven’t decided yet, yet am trying to intentionally limit my consumption of extremely biased websites and look more to academic sources for risk analysis.
But thank you though, I know risks need to be taken extremely seriously!
Yes, you will hear lots of stories of good experiences of home births, since only 16 out of 10,000 end in death. But that is 3-5 times higher than hospital births. Would you buy a car seat or crib that had a death rate 3-5 times higher than a safer product?
If you are going to do a home or non-hospital birth, please read the guidelines listed on both the Honest Midwife and What If and Fears sites. Read about how best to protect yourself and your baby. Look at the lies that some midwives tell. Also look at the different certifications. Also realize that even if you are only 5 mins from the hospital, it can take much longer to get from your bed/bath/couch to the car to the hospital and checked in and sent to the right department. And ambulances have protocols that may mean you have to give birth before they take you to the hospital.
As a grieving Mom, who never, ever thought something like this would happen to her, I urge you to find a great OB who shares your beliefs or a midwife at a birthing center attached to a hospital.
That study you linked to, the PDF article I linked to analyzes that study. The basic flaw is that is in Canada which has a very, very different midwife system than we do in the US. They have very strict regulations on who is a candidate and work very closely with hospitals. Every study not done is the US is usless to determine the risks and safety of the US system.
I just wanted to point out that
That being said, I am still on the fence as to whether I will choose a home birth again for the next baby because of the risks. It is true that I was very fortunate to have had a great experience and to have been left unscathed by it, but it was a decision made in the heat of the moment and the outcome could have been far different. I will be doing my research this time around, but focusing on local evidence and data as everyone should.
I am very sorry you had to endure what you did, and I can only imagine the grief you carry with you. It is very courageous of you to share your story and try to warn other moms and moms-to-be.
As I mentioned at the start, everyone should absolutely be informed. The purpose of my starting this thread was not to debate or even share online resources, but rather just to capture home birth experiencea of weddingbee users. I’d live to hear more stories if they are out there. Otherwise, thanks to this wgo have shared resources but maybe they ae better in a separate thread devoted to being place to compile either pro or non pro home births.
I want this to remain a positive and safe space for women to share their home birth stories without feeling judged about their birthing or parenting decisions.
(Again I do appreciate the links and the sentiment behind sharing them but am trying to be clear about the purpose of this specific thread as the topic is obviously Contentious)
I hope we get some more stories here, and if I can find the thread in February, I’ll post my story. 😁
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