Post # 1
I don’t know where to start, so overwhelmed right now. My wedding is planned for May 21, 2011. My fiance is an auto mechanic and his checks have not been enough for us to manage all of our bills.
As of right now we are 6 months behind on our mortgage and it’s facing forclosure. We are paying for most of the wedding ourselves with our tax returns. I just can’t in good faith throw a big wedding and spend thousands of dollars when we can’t even pay our bills.
Question is…should I cancel? How do I tell everyone who has been with us the whole way and helping plan, etc.? The other thing is if we do cancel, how to we tell people? I’m really ashamed that we’re this far behind and no one knows that we’re in this much debt.
Any help is appreciated…and please no snide remarks as I’m on the verge of tears.
(I am in the process of working it out with our mortgage company)
Post # 3
I would be devastated if I had to cancel the wedding I’ve been dreaming about for so long. Having said that, canceling the wedding pales in comparison to losing my home.
So I would say POSTPONE the wedding until you’ve covered your mortgage payments. You could always replan.
Post # 4
Sweetie, in the economy no one is going to fault you for cancelling a wedding. My husband was laid off a week before our wedding and I felt kind of silly paying all that money for our wedding when he was the one with the better paying job. If you want to have a wedding, maybe try a pot luck reception with really close friends and family. Those who love you will understand.
Post # 5
I would not have a wedding right now when you can’t pay your bills. If you are going to be foreclosed on, you need that money to secure a new place to live or to get your home current. Try to figure out if you can find another place to live that would be less expensive and easier to afford on his checks.
Post # 5
Would the tax return catch you up on your payments and prevent foreclosure? If it does, would you be able to continue to make the payments to keep the house? do you have plans to make extra money for the future to make your mortgage payments?
If you think you will end up in forclosure again in 6 months, then let it foreclose.
However, I still think you should REALLY scale back your wedding court house wedding and a pot luck BBQ in your back yard for the closest family members and friends. your tax return will be needed for finding an apartment, security deposit etc. It would be very not financially smart to spend it no matter what you do with the house.
Post # 6
Awww, I’m so sorry you are going through this! Times are really tough for everyone right now and I know that if I had a friend or family member in your situation I would totally understand. My hubby and I were facing a lot of really financial hardships right around the time we were supposed to get married too, so we got married in a tiny backyard ceremony and have been working on getting our finances back up and are now having our wedding “celebration” here in a few weeks. It wasn’t an ideal situation, but I felt a lot better doing it that way. Now I feel like I can actually enjoy my wedding day without feeling guilty about spending the money. I am sure your family and friends will understand. Best wishes!! Hugs!
Post # 7
Definitely get your finances in check before having the wedding. If that means your wedding consists of a court house ceremony and potluck dinner afterwards… who cares? The important part of the wedding is the marriage, not the decorations or cake.
Also, be sure to talk to your bank… let them know you’re not making ends, and not just blowing off the payments. They might be able to work with you to get back on track.
Post # 8
Yes, our tax return would almost catch up the morgage. I’m going to have a serious talk with my fiance tonight about cancelling. I think our close friends and family would be more than willing to come to a small backyard affair. I don’t think we’ll be facing finding a new home if I catch up the mortgage. I edited the post to add that I’m in the process of working with the mortgage company to help us out. Thanks for all of the nice comments 🙂
Post # 9
Honestly, you should have cancelled 6 months ago. The second you could no longer afford to pay for housing, all extra expenses should have been cut. I’ve totally been there – I put myself through college while supporting my mother as she went through a divorce. Cutting all expenses is tough, but it has to be done. I now have a no debt policy, and I also make sure that I have at least 6 month’s savings on hand – no matter what. I didn’t plan my wedding until we had the cash cushion.
Post # 10
I really like the backyard bbq idea. I know I should have cancelled it 6 months ago, but unfortunately I was on the “wedding train” and nothing could derail my elation. I guess hindsight is 20/20.
Post # 11
I say just postpone. I don’t think you need to really go too into details with why you have to postpone. The economy right now is terrible and most people won’t pry into your business. They would just understand.
Sorry you have to go through this. I almost called mine off when my fiance got laid off. But thankfully with my salary, we are stable currently. I wouldn’t have gone any further if I didn’t think we’d be stable. Unless you want a low key city hall wedding and informal reception then wait and have the wedding you want when you can afford to have it.
Good luck with everything.
Post # 12
@juliet732: If your tax return will cover the payments youre behind on, then in my mind theres really no question what you should do.
In todays economy, nobody will fault you for canceling/postpoining. And theres nothing wrong with having a courthouse ceremony and throwing a celebration at another time for family and friends.
Post # 13
Based on your last post, use your tax return for your mortgage, hands down. You have to consider what is most important, a wedding is one day, your house is your livelyhood. I wish you the best!
Post # 14
Cover the mortgage and have something simple in the back yard. Besides…rustic weddings are in style right now anyway. I am sure if you let your family in on your difficulties everyone will pull together to make your day special for you and your Fiance.
Post # 15
Thank you all SO much for your input. How do I go about informing everyone that it’s cancelled? I haven’t sent invitations yet but did send save-the-dates and set up a wedding website. Not sure if I need to personally call everyone or send a card? The guest list was around 75 total, most of which are part of a pair.