Post # 16
You could always have a private ceremony with just close friends & family. Maybe have a big reception when you can afford it. I know a few couples who did this & it was great!
No one’s going to think its bad to cancel or postpone, I think people would be more concerned if you threw a big wedding & then lost your house. Good luck!
Post # 17
@juliet732: I would put a note out on the website and maybe have friends or family spread the word to everyone else.
Post # 18
@juliet732: Just add a note to the website. FYI…my Fiance and I are only inviting about 60 people to our backyard wedding….just because that’s all we wanted. Nothing wrong with scaling down and having something small if you don’t want to postpone.
Post # 19
I’m so sorry to hear you are going through this.
it sounds like you have decided to postpone the wedding. I think this is wise. it is only one day, and having a home is so much more important in the long run!
no matter what way you choose to spread the word, your family will totally understand!
Post # 20
@juliet732: I’d just call everyone and tell them it’s cancelled but just because of finances. You can still get married. Having a place to live is WAY more important than a wedding.
Post # 21
I’m sorry you have to deal with this 🙁
I agree with the others about using your tax return to catch up your mortgage. Once that is done sit down with your fiancee and discuss ways you can cut your expenses in order to stay current so you won’t find yourself in this situation again. It’s not fun but it is doable 🙂
Your guest list sounds small and manageable (ours was small too) and you could post a notice on your wedsite that there has been a need to change, and send out a notice that you two are still marrying on your chosen day but the reception has been postponed. Go out to dinner with your parents and best friends or ask your parents to host a small dinner at their/your home. You can have the big party for your first anniversary when this stress is behind you and you can really celebrate 🙂
Post # 22
lefeymw made a great point. If you catch up will you be able to maintain those payments, or will this come back around again?
Having a home is way more important than having a wedding. There’s a difference between pinching pennies and losing your house! Your guest list is small-ish, you could feasibly call everyone. They will understand. You could even still have it on that date! Just make a few changes in venue, etc. People will not fault you in this economy. I’m so so sorry this is happening to you. (((HUGS)))
Post # 23
Ask your venue and other vendors if there is a way for you to not lose your deposits if you re-book. I know with my venue (for ceremony and reception), there was a window that I could rebook within a year of my date and my deposit would carry over. Maybe you could do a small courthouse ceremony now and have the reception once you are back on your feet.
Or…explain the situation with your vendors and see if they would return your deposit if they are able to find someone else for your date. they have plenty of time. You’ll have to trust them, but you could at least try…
Post # 24
Exactly what everyone else said: Postpone the wedding celebration (go ahead & get married in a small ceremony if you still want to) & take care of your business. Once things are back on track, then plan a party & live it up!
Wishing you the very best of luck!
Post # 25
I’m sorry but YES. Scrap the wedding and catch up on the mortgage. You don’t want to be HOMELESS for the sake of a wedding. Sorry if this sounds harsh, but I think you need to understand that this is prety serious. I have faced foreclosure myself and it isn’t pretty.
Postpone the wedding, or do a simple BBQ affair. But please please please put the tax returns towards your mortgage.
Post # 26
This shouldn’t even be a question to be asked. Use the tax returns to pay the most of the mortgage, use the next few checks to get totally caught up, then have a small backyard wedding, if not courthouse it.
Post # 27
Go to the courthouse and have a small backyard reception after (at your house that is now up to date on the mortgage!)
Good luck with everything!
Post # 28
I vote postpone the wedding and use your tax returns to catch up on the mortgage. Can you imagine how HAPPY you will feel to be having wedding stress free from losing your home? It will be wonderful.
You can also scale down the wedding, plan a more budget friendly one, and maybe have a big anniversary party?
I’m sorry you are having to deal with this. I imagine it has to be very stressful and difficult. The bee is FULL of budget friendly wedding ideas, so maybe you’ll be able to gather some ideas and make something work!!!
Post # 29
@juliet732: I just wanted to give you props for trying to the right thing. There are SO MANY people that would just continue down the path of having a wedding even though they had financial problems and were facing foreclosure. Continuing with the already planned wedding and figuring out the finances is the easy, fun thing to do.
But focusing on your finances is what is most important. And focusing on your future marriage is important (imagine how stressful it would be to be married and trying to figure out how to get out of foreclosure, pay your bills, etc). The wedding itself is just a day. But your MARRIAGE , years down the road, is what is important.
So although you’ve been planning, I just wanted to say good job on taking a step back and thinking about the RIGHT thing to do. I hope it all works out. I’m sure a small wedding would be wonderful, or even a wedding at a later date! GOOD LUCK!
Post # 30
I agree, rustic weddings are so in right now. Have a simple backyard reception, you can DIY like crazy and give friends and family a DIY To-Do List. It can consist of little things like saving jars for the centerpeices, having someone else help design invites, a few people can be in charge of gathering and cutting flowers beside the road a few days before. You can really cut some corners and if you plan it well, it can be so wonderfully lovely and more meaningful than anything bought.
Do you have credit card debts as well or is it just your mortgage? I heard you can negotiate with your credit card company and if they see you’re at risk of bankruptcy, they will dramatically lower interest rates and cut your debt overall.
A wedding is only a day, and who says it has to be done at the start of your marriage – hold it off until things are better. Starting a marriage in foreclosure isn’t the best place to start … try to avoid it at all cost. Your loved ones will all understand.
Best of luck to you!