(Closed) Home Ownership Blues…NWR

posted 10 years ago in Home
Post # 3
1810 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I’m not stuck in an apartment but I’m kind of in a similar situation.

FH and I are on the younger side– I’m 22, still in college, and he’s 23, just starting out in his career. Well, his dad passed away when FH was 19 and FH inherited his dad’s house (FH is an only child, parents were divorced). Because the house has a mortgage on it, we can’t comfortably afford not to have roommates, especially since I have 4-5 years left of college. I was REALLY upset when I realized we would have to have roommates after we get married– I went into the shower and cried. I mean, it is a place of our own, but I don’t feel like it yet. I can’t put my nice dishes out in the kitchen or buy nice things for the living room, because I’m too scared things will get broken. I probably won’t even use my wedding gifts until much after my wedding because I don’t trust my roommates not to ruin things. I decided to try to put it out of my mind because there’s nothing I can really do about it but wait.

So though I’m not in the exact same situation, I really get where you’re coming from, and it totally sucks.

Post # 5
767 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

We rent mostly by choice for right now, but I don’t think we’ll be able to buy a house for a while anyway. Even though I think it would be great to have my own house and not have to deal with some of the crappy apartment business, I just think about all the downsides of owning a home. After you have a house you can’t move around and there can be unforseen costs that you will have to take on yourselves. With renting the repairs and upkeep are done by the landlord.

Try to focus on what is good about renting and keep making the place your own! Especially if you’re planning on staying in the same apartment for a few years, then decorate and make things cosy- make it your own.


Post # 6
3871 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’m renting right now and I know how you feel.  Most of my friends are buying homes and it does bother me but I know that right now i can’t afford a house right now with my student loans and some other debt.

Why don’t you try moving into a new apartment or  better yet renting a home? That’s what we are planning on doing when our apartment lease is up in December.  I’m excited about going from an apartment complex with no yard to a house with a yard.  It will somewhat feel like we own a home without all of the home owner responsibility. There are a few more things to learn moving from an apartment complex to a house, so it’s actually preparing me for when we do buy a house.  Plus, I’m planning on TTC next year and hopefully we will be in a house by then where the baby can have a nursery and all sorts of stuff.  I think living in a house will give me a feeling of somewhat permenance (sp?).  Well as much as it can, since we are planning on moving back to the east coast in about 3 years. Oh, and I’m excited that my rented house will hopefully have a full sized kitchen, I hate my 4 feet wide kitchen now. 

 Also, remember that you are saving towards to your first home when that comes. You definitely don’t want to get yourself into a situation that you can’t handle by buying a home.  Last thing, I would want to be doing right now is being foreclosed on a home. 

Also, it doesn’t help that all the news say that it’s a buyer’s market.  But the fine print is that it’s a buyer’s market <if your ready>. 

Also, have you ever looked into Lease-to-own properties?  I would definitely be looking if it wasn’t for the moving back to the east coast part.   You might feel better if you were leasing a place to hopefully eventually own it.

Post # 7
3788 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I feel for you. We are in no place to buy a home — not financially, and just not at that stage of life as I apply to graduate school and we plan to move away. But it’s my biggest dream in life. I am excited for the wedding, sure, but I really, really can’t wait to have a home with my husband. We’ll probably do a starter house first as so many people do, but I’d love to build or majorly renovate someday and really make “our” house. My family moved a LOT growing up and I never felt any sense of permanence. It’s so hard to watch friends look at houses and save for down payments when I know that we have probably 6 years till we even start the process. And by then, I am sure the market will have swung to a seller’s market. Then again, with that long, maybe it’ll swing back again, too! Who knows. Anyway, good luck to you; I hope you feel better, and I am sure it will be amazing for you when the time does come! I mostly just try not to dwell on it and focus my energy on fun things like wedding planning. Or grad school applications. Lots of fun to be found there. 😉

Post # 8
7081 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2009

I have no great advice, but one of my favorite songs commiserates and then cheers you up:

Post # 9
1023 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Yea, I totally can commiserate! I don’t know what you can do besides sit down with your SO and  let him know that you want saving for a house to be a priority, how much each month and to set a date for when you’d like to have the downpayment and start looking. Read up about your area housing, decide the features you want and so on so that you know exactly what your saving goal should be and what you’ll be looking for. IDK, that is the best advice I have.

Post # 10
823 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011 - The Tribute Golf Club

I know how you feel!  We really really want a house, but decided to focus on one big thing at a time.  Once the wedding is over then we save up and look for a house.

Post # 11
281 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I know how you feel. Right now, we’re living in a LDR and renting, and we’ll continue to rent after we move in together. We’ll still be in school when we get married, but I’ll be starting grad school and he’ll be getting his Ph.D about 6 months after. So, since we’ve been students for so long, we’re not going to have a lot of extra money to spend on a house. We plan to save our money for a few years, but probably rent a house to get the feel of living in a house. 🙂

Post # 12
1645 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

You’ll get there! It took Hubs and I a year to get our first place after we first started looking. And in the end it worked out so well, because we ended up buying in a different area, which will be much better for both of us. We are thanking our lucky starts that we didn’t buy a house we put an offer in on last year. You will get there though!

Post # 13
10357 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

If it makes you feel better, the median home price in my Boston neighborhood is over one million dollars.

Suffice it to say that we’ll be apartment surfing for some time to come ;-). Maybe it will cheer you up to know you live in an area of the country where home ownership is a realistic and achievable goal?

Post # 14
2025 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

The best suggestion I can give you to snap out of it is to really use this time to figure out what you want in a home. How do you live together? What might make your lives easier? What is really important to you in a home? You probably can’t know this information without really paying attention or living together for quite a while. 

My husband owned a house when we got married, I moved in, and we both realized that there are certain things about the house that we can’t stand for the way we live. They are the things that in the future, we will be sure to avoid when we buy/build our next home. I seriously can’t wait. 

Also, keep reminding yourself what a PITA it can be to own your own home, and that it would probably be easier the first year of marriage not to have the stresses of home-ownership. Example: In the past year and a half, we’ve had to repair 3 large appliances, replace flooring from flooding, cut down 2 dead oaks, have an electrician re-wire half the house, and of course, care for our own yard (which requires maintenance of a lawn mower, weed eater, hedger, edger, and leaf blower). It can get really stressful, especially since it seems everything goes wrong at the same time. 

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