(Closed) Home wreckers do not exist!

posted 5 months ago in The Lounge
Post # 107
Member
1437 posts
Bumble bee

oceangirl40 :  why does it have to be exclusively that the “other woman” gets “blamed”? Both isn’t an option?

I think anyone who helps an affair persist deserves “blame”. For example, i would blame the friend who knew about it and helped cover it up. 

Post # 108
Member
755 posts
Busy bee

I really don’t think anyone who’s arguing in favor of the outside party being a homewrecker, is suggesting that the cheating spouse is a helpless victim. We’re saying the person they cheat with (who’s aware that they’re cheating with a committed person) is a scummy person, too. I don’t know if anyone is truly implying this, but it’s my impression that the argument that the only homewrecker is the cheating spouse, suggests that it should be perfectly acceptable for someone to pursue married people. I personally don’t see how that’s not a disgraceful thing to do in any circumstance. 

 

Also, on an ethical level, the “homewrecker” does owe respect to comitted relationships, because that’s common decency. 

Post # 109
Member
831 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

chocolateplease :  What about the serial cheater?   At what point would you put the blame solely on your so, or is it always the other person’s fault as well for “tempting ” him?  

Post # 110
Member
1437 posts
Bumble bee

oceangirl40 :  as I’ve said now several times…BLAME BOTH.

And don’t be sliding in the temptress semantics with me. I expect all sane adults to know better than to cheat and knowingly mess around with someone who is cheating. It’s basic human decency.

Post # 111
Member
831 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

By putting any blame on the other person,  you’re taking blame off your spouse,  whether intentional or not.  You’re basically saying that the other person was the reason he cheated.  So what happens when that person isn’t in the picture but another person comes along who tempts him? And someone after that?  Isn’t him being a cheater the reason why the home is wrecked?

Post # 112
Member
831 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

chocolateplease :  why would I blame both when my husband has full control on whether he cheats or not?  

Post # 114
Member
278 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2018

chocolateplease :  I don’t know. I’ve known decent people who have had affairs. It isn’t always that cut and dry. 

Post # 115
Member
727 posts
Busy bee

alfalfasprout10518 :  I also think it’s quite simple that they are in fact to blame to a certain extent if they knowly participated in doing so. But okay.

Post # 116
Member
6637 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

chocolateplease :  “how about being accountable to a fellow human being? Basic decency? Too much to ask for nowadays?”

To expect this from a person who knowlingly went after a married person? Yes that’s asking too much. What do they care? As I said above, how are you going to try to hold them accountable? Court? Confronting them? They don’t care about your feelings. And what does it solve to even try? You still have a cheating partner on your hands. THAT is the issue. THAT is what needs to be dealt with. Holding the other person accountable isn’t going to solve any problems. 

Post # 119
Member
1447 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2019 - City, State

I’m seeing “basic human decency” thrown around a lot. There is no such thing as “basic human decency.” There is no set of cut and dry rules that define morality. Morality is subjective. Sure there are a few that the vast majority of people agree upon, but when it comes down to it my definition of “basic human decency” is not going to be the same as anyone else’s. You can’t expect someone outside your relationship to hold the same views and rules of morality around pursuing a married or taken individual. Your SO however, you can expect to do so.

The topic ‘Home wreckers do not exist!’ is closed to new replies.

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