(Closed) Homeschooling: Why or why not?

posted 3 years ago in Parenting
Post # 16
256 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2019 - .

I don’t have kids, but I was homeschooled as a kid.

I wouldn’t say its for everyone, but I think it mostly depends on the relationship the child has with their parents that will either make it a success, or an area of huge conflict. For example, if the parent and child have a tough time with a lesson, that can carry over into their home life, but on the flip side, the parent will know their child much better than any teacher could, and can tailor lesson plans to better suit the child’s interests. I was homeschooled because the school district I was in was a piece of crap, and I really do feel like I got a much better education at home. I also think being able to take my education into my own hands made me more mature as a child, and now, a much more curious adult. 

A very ignorant thing I hear a lot is “homeschooled kids don’t socialize” like all homeschooled kids are sad hermits who’ve never left their house. The reality couldn’t be more different! Because I was able to be flexible with my lessons, I had time to enroll in dance, theater, sewing classes, music lessons – all filled with other kids my age. There was even a large homeschooling community where I lived, and we would get together a couple times a week, and if that wasn’t enough, we even had group camp outs where we would meet up with other homeschoolers from our state.

When I have kids I plan on homeschooling, but if they ever have an interest in going to a public or private school, I’d be more than supportive as their parent. Being a homeschooling parent means being involved and finding what works for you and your child. There are also great resources like a charter school that you can sign up for and have someone help you and your child with lesson plans. 

I also didn’t have a problem at all with transferring to college or other forms of advanced schooling later in life. Because of my independent upbringing, I was already doing a lot of college level curriculum in my high school years, and I am by no means an exception among my fellow homeschoolers.


Hopefully you found this helpful! I don’t know where you live, but googling homeschooling resources in your town and state should connect you with a few people who would give you a better picture of what homeschooling looks like where you live.

Good luck!

Post # 17
119 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2017 - Living Desert Zoo and Gardens

I was in the public school system until 6th grade. Although I was in the best school for my area, the junior high program was not engaging enough for me. I came home every day bored and listless as there wasn’t enough material for me to absorb. I felt unchallenged and though my parents tried to supplement, there was little more that could be done for my public school education. They started researching ways of alternate education that still had a strong curriculum and found an online program run through the state that offered when I got to high school teachers for each class, weekly online classes, honors and AP, and certified courses whose transcripts would transfer seamlessly if I needed to go back to public school or when I needed to apply for university. I absolutely loved it! I was so far ahead of my peers in college as well in terms of understanding how to manage my own work and interact with the teachers in meaningful ways. It gave me enough structure to feel like I was in a school environment and I got to pursue academics way stronger than I would have for our location. I don’t think homeschooling is right for everyone, but if you put in effort into finding the right curriculum, meet other homeschooling groups, and have outside activities like sports, music, or arts, then I think it has a lot of advantages. I’d definitely consider it a bit more and please feel free to ask me more questions about it!

Post # 18
4252 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I am a teacher and I work directly with homeschool parents in my part time job and let me tell you…many of those kids are sheltered beyond belief.  Granted, on the other side of the spectrum one of my best friends from high school was homeschooled and is one of the smartest people I know.  I think in many ways it depends on the kid.  If you don’t have a kid who is motivated and independent and can get work done on their own, it would be challenging.  My friend and her siblings were curious, interested, and invested in their education.  Plus their mom is insanely smart too with many, many talents.  She was quite resourceful to help them find their interests and passions while also learning the basics of reading, math, writing, social studies, science, etc.  It worked out for them very well.  I met my friend because she as well as her siblings came to school for part of the day to participate in band and other classes that were difficult to teach in a homeschool environment.

In the current homeschool families I work with, 99.99999% of them are extremely religious, and I have found that is the primary reason for homeschooling.  To be completely honest some of the moms can’t even do the most basic of tasks…like the one woman who couldn’t figure out how to fill out an enrollment form for my program last year.  I had to give it back to her 3 times for her to do it correctly.  I feel like some of the parents that I work with are doing their children a disservice by homeschooling because they are not effective teachers.  What gets me too is that in the majority of homeschool families (at least the ones I work with!) the mom is seen as subservient to their husbands…mostly because of extreme religious beliefs, but often they also believe that the male is hands down the head of the household and will make all the decisions.  Not every homeschool family is like that of course, but many are.  Thus, a good portion of homeschool children are raised with the belief that women should find a husband to provide for her so she can have babies and men are the heads of the household.

Granted there are also plenty of homeschool co-ops that you can participate in as well so students get to know each other and it basically runs like a school would.  Oftentimes specialized classes are taught at the co-ops.  Many, at least in my area, are religiously affiliated, but some are either nondenominational or completely secular.

I see both sides.  Like I said some of the people I know who were homeschooled are some of the most well-rounded, smartest people I know.  Yet on the other side of that, there are parents who homeschool and their students aren’t adequately prepared to live a life in modern day society.  As a teacher I would never homeschool my own kids if/when we have them.  Even with an education degree I am not adequately equipped to teach my kids as effectively as people who specialize in a specific age and/or a specific subject.

Post # 19
45 posts
  • Wedding: October 2017

I was homeschooled all the way through, and me and my Fiance are really leaning towards homeschool when we have kids some day as well.

Now a days there are so many co-ops, activities, sports, clubs, and resources for homeschoolers, it’s much easier than it used to be.

A lot of high schools also allow homeschoolers to take a class or two there and join their sports teams and go to all their dances and consider them part of the school. Co-ops also allow several homeschool families to meet once a week or so and have classes together, go on field trips, etc.

Most people who find out I was homeschooled assumed I was unsocialized and sheltered. But I was very socialized, I had lots of friends, both homeschool and public school friends, I stayed involved with sports and 4H, volunteered, babysat, and helped my dad with the family business through out all of high school and some middle school, even had a part time job on the side. I had time for all my hobbies since doing all my schoolwork for the day generally took 2-4 hours, maybe 5. Homeschooling allowed me to graduate a year early while taking extra classes, all with a great gpa.

I’m all for homeschooling and I don’t believe I missed out on anything. I believe the pros far outweigh the cons. But of course it’s not for everybody.

Post # 20
1188 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

My daughter just turned 8 years old.  We have homeschooled up until this point.  My nearly 7 year old daughter was put in school.  I think it is highly dependent on the child.  My 8 year old was always an inquisitive learning.. delving into things and reading about them without abandon for weeks, even months.  She’d get really into something and soak it up before moving on.  Traditional school isn’t really geared towards that kind of learning.  I think what we should have done, now, is put her in traditional school until 3rd or 4th grade and then let her homeschool.  She’ll be attending a traditional private school this year (both girls will) and then in a year or two, she can choose if she wants to return to homeschooling, which I’m pretty sure will be her choice.  


The issue with homeschooling for us, was that there is no extended family.  There are no people who are always around us to learn socialization.  My 8 year old is a competition dancer, so while she interacts with the same kids many hours a week, it’s not really the same thing.  At this point, even though I’m not a fan of traditional schooling, I feel like it’s what’s best for her.

Post # 21
1188 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

To add, we are not religious.  As someone stated, many homeschooling families are — rabidly so, which made it hard to make homeschool friends.

Post # 22
953 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I am a public school teacher, and for the most part I am opposed to homeschooling. I find it really odd that education is mandatory and I had to go to school for several years and now have to continually prove my competency, but just any parent could choose to homeschool. Especially having seen the movie Jesus Camp and knowing the flat out incorrect things many religious families are teaching, I am very concerned for those children. I also have an issue with socialization being entirely controlled by parents–it’s great to plan field trips and get out of the house and play with friends and cousins, but that’s in a manufactured environment and likely with people who are very similar to you. In an actual school, kids learn to take on the responsibility for making and keeping good friends and knowing how to problem solve.

Post # 23
134 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

liverightnow :  I personally am not homeschooled, but I have family and know other people that are. Actually I do some math tutoring for some students who are homeschooled. The success of homeschooling really depends on you as a parent. You can make it as good as you want. Some people stick their kids at computers all day and make them learn by videos, which is not good. I know another parent that is very involved in her children’s learning. She goes to conventions to learn about homeschooling, and has a very structured day, much like school. She also makes sure her children are given the chance to socialize with others. With the way education is now–all focused on assessment rather than learning–I’d very much consider homeschooling my (future) kids. And I’m in college right now to be a high school teacher!! There are a lot of GREAT and not-so-great resources for homeschool moms. If you’re willing to put in the time and effort, homeschooling is a great way to go!!

Post # 24
445 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

I am a teacher in the classroom and online.  I would homeschool…  

It is mind blowing how much time is wasted in school.  Wasted time can be a good or bad thing. In reality the childs school day is spread out over like 6 hours give or take.  But, in reality the school day could be done in 4 hours or less.  I think I find something wrong with this.

If the child is home schooled you can focus on what the child really wants to learn, art, history, science, writing, whatever.  It seems in the classroom much of the time is spent on recess, doing class projects that student has absolutely no interest in, ackward lunches where the child may or may not be ‘popular’ and being forced to play baseball for example which the child may hate.  

I don’t know.  I think there is something to be said for homeschooling.  And I didn’t even touch on the fact of bullying and other things that have nothing whatsoever to do with education or making the child a better person in society.

Post # 25
1663 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

My brother and I were homeschooled. Our parents pulled us out of Catholic school when my brother was in 6th grade and I was in 4th grade, we were homeschooled all the way through highschool. My brother went off to trade school to become a mechanic and was top in his class and I went off to a private university and graduated with honors. Darling Husband and I will homeschool our kids and my brother and his Destination Wedding are going to homeschool theirs.  

I’m not trying to take anything away from teachers, but as parents, you know your kids better than anybody and I think that makes you the best teacher, you know how your kids learn best. If you see that they are struggling with a certain concept, you spend more time on it and can explain it different ways until they get it. A lot of my friends talk about how their kids don’t understand something in school and they basically get left behind because the class is moving on to the next thing. You taught your kids to walk and talk and everything else that little kids need to learn, so why can’t you teach them school subjects? I really don’t buy the whole ‘parents aren’t smart enough to teach this subject at this level.’ You know what, you’ve learned all that stuff before when you were in school, you can refresh your memory. As the teacher, you obviously prepare the lessons ahead of time, so you read ahead and study it yourself and in some ways, you’re learning along with you’re kids. If there are subjects you just don’t feel comfortable with, there are co ops to join and another parent can teach those subjects. 

The whole socialization thing really bothers me to the point I get pissed when people say all homeschooled kids are un socialized. Yes, there are those weirdo families who keep the kids away from the public, but the vast majority aren’t like that. For example, we were part of a homeschool group and went on field trips, got together for lunch ‘n learns, I was in dance class, did community theater, volunteered with veterans, when I was old enough I volunteered with hospice. My brother did things like that too. Think about it this way, in schools, kids are only with other kids their age or close to their age. Most homeschool groups have kids from preschool all the way through highschool, so you get to interact with kids of all ages, as well as the adults. Just like when they get to ‘the real world’ you don’t work with people your own age, chances are there will be people a lot older and a lot younger than you. 

My Dear Daughter will be starting preschool next year, and I’m already starting to prepare. It takes a lot of dedication and work, but I think homeschooling is totally worth it. Please PM me if you have questions!!

Post # 26
2942 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I could never home school.  I tutored some in college, and found out I have absolutly 0 tallent for teaching someone else.  There are a ton of skills that are needed to be a teacher, and I find that those do not exist in me.  I’m very impressed by those that do have these talents, and I much rather have my child in that environment.  I feel like if I was my child’s teacher, I would end up frustrating them.  Breaking down things so someone with no understanding gets it is not my talent. 

I also value diversity.  We moved into an area with good schools and decent diversity, which makes me very happy.  From what I have seen with home schooling, at least in my area, is that it is almost 100% white. 

There are a lot of things that I don’t like about education in the US, but I figure I can have a bigger impact voicing concerns as a parent.

Post # 28
166 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

sparklesalways :  +1

My SIL was home schooled and I think that has really (negatively) affected how she views the world and her place in it.

Post # 29
4231 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Hotel Ballroom

I am pregnant with baby #1, so I too am thinking about this.

I was severely bullied growing up (I was a head taller than even the boys, had buck teeth with a gap in between them, had a low voice for a girl, and started puberty before everyone else). I grew up in a small town, so it’s not like here in the city where you could change schools without much inconvenience. I prayed every day to not have to deal with this anymore, and begged my parents to pull me out of school and homeschool me. That didn’t happen. The school also did NOTHING to help me. They could care less that I was being chased around the playground as young as age 8 and having my training bra ripped off me; or that I was regularily being shoved down the stairs; or even that one time where out of nowhere a classmate hit me in the head with a CHAIR in the middle of class…my teacher only gave the kid detention. My parents always said I brought this on myself somehow and refused to intervene when teachers would not.

So I have my opinions on the school system for sure!

While I would try to put my kids in public school first, if I felt like the school system was failing them (whether it be academically or like in my situation) I would then homeschool them. The ONLY reason I wouldn’t make the decision to homeschool them right off is I personally don’t feel qualified to be responsible for my child’s education. I know there are LOADS of resources out there to help homeschooling Moms, but I also know ME. If my kid were home all day, I’d just want to bake cookies and play at the park and make memories. I wouldn’t necessarily have the discipline to make them sit at the kitchen table and learn about fractions on a beautiful day. (Hey, at least I’m honest!)

Post # 30
10650 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

I think it’s pretty rare where this is the best option for a child.  Parents can teach things at home without homeschooling a child.

There’s more to school than just the material taught.  Learning to work in a group, deal with distractions and all that other stuff that comes with being in a class.  Right from elementary school I had different teachers for different subjects, so it requires learning to adjust to different ways that people teach.

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