(Closed) Homophobia rant – MIL

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
2905 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 1996

“I mean, there isn’t a straight pride parade.”

What about “Straight people don’t need a pride parade because society doesn’t tell them their sexuality is wrong, unnatural, or immoral. There aren’t hundreds or thousands of websites online about how straight people are going to hell, and people don’t get bashed for being straight. Without pride parades, gay people don’t have visual proof that there are straight people who support and love them.

I don’t know! I hope you can convince your Mother-In-Law. Maybe telling her how her love and support for her gay friends is one of the qualities that you admire most in her?

Post # 5
Member
5761 posts
Bee Keeper

I hate to burst your bubble, but there’s nothing you’ll be able to do or say to change her mind. Being a peace loving child of the 60’s has nothing to do with it and her attitude, as you must remember that in those days, anything to do with the gay population was never discussed and wasn’t as open as it is today. I’m guessing she’s as educated as she wants to be, and is honestly entitled to her opinion. Doesn’t mean you have to like it or agree with her, but I wouldn’t take this small part of her and run with it.

Post # 6
Member
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

This sounds like one of those “I’m going to be a bitch about something totally unrelated to what is actually upsetting me” scenarios. I’d bet there is something else going on that caused her to make a crappy comment while she was drinking. If nothing else about her would indicate that she’d genuinely feel this way, you know?Most of the reasonable world understands why there is no need for a “Straight Pride Parade” come on now!

Post # 7
Member
635 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I think you need to let this go. You can’t force her to agree with you and the chances of her being offended are pretty high. I assume she is tolerant since they are close with a gay couple. You should probably leave it at that. Sometimes ppl say certain things as an excuse for something else. Maybe she really isn’t comfortable with that lifestyle 100% and doesn’t wana go public and claim such. Maybe she seriously believes what she said. In which case you trying to change her mind could cause problems if she gets offended. I know you feel strongly but sometimes agreeing to disagree, especially when it’s with family, is the best idea. Maybe after the event you could tell her how great it was and try to find out why she feels that way and try to slowly teach her instead of coming at her with bullet points of why she is wrong. That seems aggressive and would piss me off.

Post # 8
Member
3772 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@ItWasntMe:  I agree with this.. i mean obviously she doesn’t have a problem with gay people and is tolerant of their choices since she has friends that are. Some people just aren’t all about parades. Just let her have this. It seems like you are just trying to start a fight over something as small as her not wanting to go to a parade.

Post # 9
Bee
1433 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012 - Historic Lougheed House

Every day is a straight pride parade.

 

Sorry you’re having to deal with a dumbass Mother-In-Law. I couldn’t do it.

Post # 11
Member
254 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

The “there’s no parade for straight people” argument is so terrible. Last year, on a patio after pride with all my proud and out buds, a random at the bar struck up conversation and used that argument. One of my good friends was nice enough to be patient to try and explain to the random WHY there’s no parade for straight people, but ended up just being like, “WHY would you want a parade? Every damn day in a society that smiles upon straight relationships is worthy of a parade. Can’t you let us have our weekend?”

I don’t think you’ll be able to change her mind or open her up to anything new. I think you should let her know that her reactions re: the parade made you uncomfortable. Also, you can try to emphasize how the parade is about love and respect – but you said yourself that your Mother-In-Law has gay friends. Maybe it’s just the parade she dislikes? Which may not be homophobic (if she has a better reason than “straight” parade). Fiance and I despise attending the parade because it’s just WAAAAAY too many people and I get claustrophobic.

ETA – Just changed my wording because I was sounding way too passive before. I’ve just honestly never dealt with someone who is close with a gay couple making homophobic remarks, so I’m trying to give the benefit of the doubt!

Post # 14
Member
3772 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@WillyNilly:  Here’s my thing. She’s tolerant. Maybe she says things when she’s drunk. But she’s tolerant! She’s not bashing anyone, she just said a snarky little comment about parades. IDK I just don’t think forcing your opinion on her is going to help. Like AJester2 just go and show her how much fun you had and show here what she’s missing out on. And yes I think that excuse was a lame excuse she gave. But whatever. i think she just doesn’t want to go to a parade.

Edit: to my first statement about how she’s tolerant. It seems like she’s tolerant. I don’t know her so I wouldn’t be able to tell.

Post # 15
Member
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Another angle to consider, I actually do know a (gay) man who is very involved in the gay rights movement, he donates his time and money to various causes but will not attend parades. He has expressed before that he feels a lot of what goes on at parades doesn’t represent true gay culture and that it’s become something people come to gawk at like a circus, with the message getting lost.

Now I love me some gay pride parades, been to several, but the way he explained it did make sense and I could respect his opinion on it. Could it be something like that? She’s ok with the cause but not the delivery of the message?

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