(Closed) Homophobia rant – MIL

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 17
Member
634 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Invited implies she has the right to say no. Let it go.

Post # 19
Member
634 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Hope it works out for you.

Post # 20
Member
9916 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

Do you feel close enough to her to have a conversation about it?  One of my best friends in the whole world has been…subverted…by her a-hole conservative boyfriend and started to say something like, “I think civil unions are okay but marriage is not” for gay couples…to which I was like, “Um remember how you used to date girls in college?  And how practically all our friends are gay?  And how you believe in gay rights?” and she is still holding to her civil unions guns, but we can talk about it.  She will come around when she drops the jerk.  But I feel comfortable talking to her about that because we are so close.  Do you feel that you can have a conversation/discussion with your MIL?

Post # 22
Member
5089 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

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@peachacid:  Oh man, that shit drives me crazy. Have you pointed out the whole “separate but equal isn’t” thing to her?

Post # 23
Member
9916 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

Yes, and she very calmly says things like “It’s just a semantic issue.”  So I knock her over the head and she listens.  HA.  She acts like she is being very calm, reasonable, and emotionless…  So annoying.  Her boyfriend thinks it’s 100% Obama’s fault that gas prices are where they are…that it costs $70 every time he fills up his…Lincoln Navigator.  Here’s an idea…don’t drive a Lincoln Navigator!  Try thinking for yourself instead of letting Faux News tell you everything!

 

Hmm what else does he think?  I bet he thinks Obama is from Kenya or whatever it is that Donald Trump keeps insisting.

Post # 24
Member
5540 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2011

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@WillyNilly:  

I would just like to point out a couple things, one she was drunk when she said this so you may be reading way to far into it and two, just because she doesn’t want to go to a parade has zero connection to if she believes in equal rights. While I have personally never been to a pride parade, what I have seen of a few local ones on the news and through friends is that they don’t show what average people are like, but the extremes and frequently the bad stereotypes of that community, not the people who just want an average life, work their job, marry their SO, raise their family and not be judged for it. If Mil has otherwise been normal about this, I think you are borrowing trouble and to be on the defensive like you are just creates issues. There is a huge difference in discussion and debate, and the latter usually just makes people defensive and pull back to their extremes.

Post # 26
Member
5540 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2011

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@WillyNilly:  

The point I was trying to make is that if up until this one comment you believed her to be a supportive person to this cause, I wouldn’t start a discussion by throwing things in her face because that is how and why people get defensive and say things they don’t always mean or say things in a manner that poorly expresses their actual view because now.it’s a personal attack. All I am saying is before you start pulling punches, when you have a chance to calmly discuss this, clarify what she means first. Perhaps you are right and she doesn’t really care or perhaps she wasn’t really thinking and had some other reason but the other just kind of came out. I just think you are setting this out to be a bar room brawl with her when that doesn’t have to be the case.

Post # 27
Member
3622 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

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@AJester2:  I agree. My Future In-Laws have much different social/religious/political beliefs, and there is no way I’m going to try to convert them. Though they don’t make outrageous comments like that either.  I just think it’s better to keep the peace.

Post # 28
Member
9916 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

Yeah, like maybe say, “You said [this] the other day, and I was thinking about it, and wondered what you meant.”

Post # 30
Member
9916 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

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@WillyNilly:  I took a class in college called something like…American Social Movements…or something awesome like that.  We discussed all the big ones — women’s rights, abolition/civil rights, gay rights…but there are so many in our history.  One that I never even though of is the Temperance Movement…  You might want to just do a google search to see what comes up cause there is a lot of interesting stuff out there!

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