(Closed) "Homophobic" Florist

posted 8 years ago in LGBTQ
Post # 62
Member
3941 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

View original reply
@SweetChick  i think it’s hard for most of us here to understand, but as radical as this woman sounds about gay marriage…what if the OP hadn’t told her, and the florist had either found out on her own or when she showed up to the wedding, then denied services last minute or never showed?

When you’re planning a wedding you need your vendors on your side 100%.  You put confidence in them.  Full disclosure with such an unfortunately touchy subject is the best idea in this day and age, she did the right thing. 

OP, as for bashing her business online –  I would do it with kindness.  “I was unable to book Fifi Flower, LLC” as my florist due to her stance on gay marriage.  Please know if you are a gay couple, your contract will include the following guidelines…”

Don’t attack her as a person, but state exactly what she said.

Post # 63
Member
200 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

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@KelannaDC  This is my personal opinion and it comes from a straight woman, but I don’t understand why you have to ask to people if they have a moral or religious obligation against a lesbian wedding? To me, when I heard this question, it’s like saying same-sex mariage is wrong or illegal, which it is not.  You are celebrating your love and comitment to another person, it’s not the vendor’s business what sex that person is.  I think it’s the equivalent of asking your vendor to approve of your significant other before they render their service.

I’m in an interracial relationship and it would never cross my mind to ask a vendor if they oppose interracial mariages (even though I’m well aware that some ignorant people are still against it).  I’m not doing anything wrong.  I’m marrying the man of my dreams.  

I’m sorry you had to experience that ugly side of some people.  And I wish you nothing but pure happiness on your wedding day!

Post # 64
Member
3885 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I’d write this up and send it to the City Paper, and definitely The Blade.

Post # 65
Member
11324 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

I saw this yesterday (I don’t believe this is really morgan freeman, but whoever it is makes a good point!). 

I hope the rest of your planning goes more smoothly!

Post # 66
Member
11231 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

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@goodgenie I’m not sure what the law in Montreal is, but in many places in the US, gay marriage IS illegal. It’s legal in DC, where the OP lives, but it’s (unfortunately) a hot topic here. She’s already answered why she asked–she doesn’t want to give her money to someone who doesn’t support her relationship, and what if the vendor found out and didn’t show up on the day of, or cancelled last minute?

OP, I’m sorry that you had to go through this. <3

Post # 67
Member
200 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

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@vorpalette  Sorry, I should have been clearer.  I am aware that same-sex mariage is not legal in every States and it’s very unfortunate.  When I mentionned it being legal, I was referring to OP’s situation. 

Post # 68
Member
1955 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - Tannery Pond at the Darrow School

I am so so sorry 🙁 I get so angry when I hear about something like this (aka Chick-fil-a)…Please know that there are so many of us who believe that your relationship is a beautiful thing and you absolutely deserve a wonderful (LEGAL) wedding! In fact, if you tell me the name of the florist, I’ll go on every review website I can thnk of to post exactly what you’ve written! People should know what sort of businesses they’re supporting and I, for one, would hate to give my money to someone who is so blatantly homophobic…

There are many wonderful vendors our there who would be thrilled to work your wedding, I know this was such a sad, disheartening experience but try not to let it bring you down, you’re getting married and it will be an incredible day, regardless!! 

Post # 69
Member
2874 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I totally get why the OP mentioned it on the phone – you wouldnt want the vendor either backing out on the day or being snarky/judgemental and makiing yuo feel like crap when you’re tring to celebrate your love

i was also going to post the morgan freeman “i hate the word homophobia. you are not scared, you’re an asshole” but a pp beat me to it!

life is too short to deal with haters, so id definitely avoid vendors who had a problem with my relationship (im straight, but ive previously had a few “special comments” about marrying a mexican guy which pissed me off)

Post # 70
Bee
11808 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2009 - Barr Mansion

Good thing you asked. You definitely don’t want to give her your hard earned money! I hope you find someone who will be thrilled to be the florist for your wedding.

Post # 71
Member
5089 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

View original reply
@goodgenie  I don’t understand why you have to ask to people if they have a moral or religious obligation against a lesbian wedding? 

Because she needs to know if her vendors are going to sabotage her wedding, intentionally or unintentionally, when they find out there are two brides and no groom.

Post # 72
Member
383 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I’m so sorry that you had to experience that.  I know that a few people are curious as to why you have to ask that question, but it’s important that you do.  What if you never said anything then she shows up the day of your wedding and freaks out and then gives you her list of demands.  I wouldn’t want a vendor to show up on my wedding day and then tell me that I can’t mention where the flowers came from!  We HAVE to ask, I’d rather have the heartbreak before the big day then have an upset vendor on the day of because they didn’t realize they were working for a gay wedding. 

You will find the florist who is right for you.  I have actually found that some times there are vendors who are excited to be working for a gay wedding.  I know our photographer has never done a same sex ceremony before, but she is so excited to be working with us. I think it’s because they know that once they get their first gay marriage word will spread around the community and hopefully lead to more business. Our venue has also been working with the community in hopes that more same sex couples will choose to hold their wedding there.  So every vendor that doesn’t want to help us with our wedding there is another vendor out there excited and happy to do it.

Post # 73
Member
816 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013 - Mansion House at the MD Zoo

Ew. I’m not gay and I won’t work with any vendor with an attitude close to that. Bigotry is unacceptable. It’s just not ok.

Post # 74
Member
103 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

@KelannaDC  I am sorry that you have to go through this. However, you will definitely be able to find someone just as good or better who will be more than happy to serve you!

I also wanted to note that I admire how you stated that you neither wanted to bash her business (publicly) or draw supporters to it. I think that lessons are better learned through love than through bashing. While her views are unfortunate and her limits on you were completely uncalled for, I think that we all tend to forget that the fight for marriage equality has not been in the spotlight for very long. Many people who have been taught since birth that homosexuality is wrong are just now beginning to get their views challenged. People will come around, though it may take time. This particular florists may begin to see the light when she realizes that a perfectly nice woman was forced to choose another florist to do business with due to her view. 

Who knows, maybe by some stroke of luck she will change someday and become an LGBT supportive-vendor. 

Props to you, and I wish you a beautiful wedding and life with your wife=]

Post # 76
Member
107 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I think everyone can have their own opinon and beliefs but its how you express but how they choose to run their business is their choice,anyone can have the right to be selective but for her to accept your money and still have those feelings was not right

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