(Closed) Honest opinion needed

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
10454 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

I would say just your bridal party usually. Your bridesmaids and maybe their dates.

Post # 4
Member
737 posts
Busy bee

@ladywomangirlmom:  This is a difficult question to answer, modest-means will have a different meaning to different people.

Start with a list:

Bridal party, parents, brothers/sisters maybe, may be out of town guests.  Who do you think you should invite?  Some have 10-20 people.  One Bee I read about had just over 100!!!!  But then she had nearly 300 at the wedding.  This was a really big budget affair.

So start with a list, count the numbers, find a venue and get a costing then approach the person paying.  Hope this helps.

 

Post # 5
Member
5889 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

Def the wedding party and B&G families. If she can afford it, invite out of town guests. I can’t answer how many because it depends on what you are expecting–nice restaurant, homey low key restaurant or backyard cookout. I think you decide how much you want to spend, who you want to invite (oot guest or not), then find a place to accomodate. 

Post # 6
Member
3723 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Definitely the bridesmaids’ dates. The rehearsal dinner should include everyone that attends the rehearsal (officiant, bridesmaids, groomsmen, flower girls, ring bearers, readers, etc), their dates, or parents of the flower girl/ring bearer. Beyond that, immediate family, grandparents, and sometimes out of town guests are often invited. 

Post # 8
Hostess
4353 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2016 - Virmond Park

@ladywomangirlmom:  I would skip OOTguests then. I think 52 is more than enough!

Post # 9
Member
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

In your situation, I’d keep it at bridal party, parents, and your and your FI’s siblings.  That sounds big enough!

ETA and the bridal party dates/SOs.

Post # 10
Member
4466 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I would keep it at bridal party and their dates, close family and then very close friends. I would top it at 50 if I could. I think 50 is a big big rehearsal dinner.

Post # 11
Member
3723 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Parents, bridal party and their dates are 52 people? How big is your bridal party?

Post # 12
Member
2209 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I would say about 50 is a decent size rehersal but for some weddings with lots of OOT guests people sometimes do a welcome reception for all guests instead of a dinner… just serve some heavy appetizers (or have a pizza party etc)

 

I might at least mention the options to your ILs and say that since you have so many OOT guests you were considering something a little less traditional and see what they think?

Post # 13
Member
2209 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

how many people do you think would be invited if it was totally up to you?

Post # 14
Member
816 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

We could totally end up with 50.  We’re trying to cap it off at 40 though.  We have 14 in our bridal party (fiance has 7 bffs!!) plus their spouses, and a few people who are contributing a lot of time to make the wedding work for us, like my cousin who is the planner & good friends who are doing pictues & setting up sound.  And parents of course.  My parents are still married but his are both re-married so that’s even more people!  It’s easy to pile it up!

We just asked his Dad what he was comfortable with paying and were able to find something within those means.  I hope that works out for you!!  Can you do something casual?  Maybe at someones house?

Post # 15
Member
62 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I think it all depends on what she can afford and where it’s being hosted.  For us, the groom’s father is in a similar situation.  He wants to host so we’re doing a backyard cook-out, with just the parents and bridal party.  Wish we could have more (OOT, grandparents, etc), but we know it’s really important to my FFIL that he feels like he’s contributed and hosted his own event.  Maybe just start by asking her how many people she’s expecting to host?

Post # 16
Member
27 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2013

We will be having the bridal party with their dates and siblings with their dates.  In total about 30 people.  I would definitely invite all dates, because if the best man flys in from out of state with his girlfriend, it would be really rude for him to have to leave her at the hotel alone for the night!  Also, I would expect all immediate family to be there as well.  That being said, I sure hope you have a small bridal party and family! 🙂

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