(Closed) honest opinions, am I overreacting?

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
2570 posts
Sugar bee

You already don’t like her and I think this is just one more thing that drives you crazy. This alone isn’t really a big deal to me but combine it with the fact that you already don’t like her I can see why it bugs you. Maybe don’t go out of your way to try to please her and maybe she will appreciate when you do offer?

Post # 3
257 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

No way, that’s crazy annoying to me and I don’t even know the lady! I would want to haul off and smack her. I am sure it’s heightened because you are very aware of her behavior, but I don’t think you are out of line at all. 🙁 *hugs*

Post # 4
4226 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Hotel Ballroom

That IS a little irritating! I’m always of the “pick your battles” sort of mindset. If it were me, I would let this one go. That being said, if it REALLY bugs you, then it’s worth saying something.


Post # 5
1135 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

maybe she doesn’t even realize she saying it…next time jokingly reply “Oh DO you?!” Lol, I’m super sarcastic so I would totally do that. I would try not to take it personally though.

Post # 6
8028 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

Post # 7
6884 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Meh I think you are tad over reacting here.  It maybe annoying but since you don’t like her as it is it just adds on.  I would just let it roll off and not let it bother your.  Not a hill to die on

Post # 8
228 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

View original reply
annonybee2183:  I don’t think you are being irrational. I read what you posted, and the second I got to that line I thought ‘so you just assume you can do whatever you want?!?!’ That being said, I could be a bit biased as I too don’t care for my Future Mother-In-Law – I have a feeling that what eeniebeans posted may be a bit true, both in your case and in mine.

Post # 9
147 posts
Blushing bee

I think maybe because you just don’t like a lot of things that she does, that some of the things she does annoy you so much.  Can’t really make her change the way she is.  I don’t have any advice on what to do, but I wouldn’t spend any more energy getting annoyed.  

Post # 10
11533 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

Is it possible that your Mother-In-Law is using the phrase “I know” in these circumstances as a sweeping comment that means “I know that I have other options or alternatives, but I still want to or plan to do X”? Perhaps this is simply her way of saying, “I appreciate what you’re trying to tell me, and I know I just complained about not wanting to do _______, but I still plan to do it.”

Post # 11
686 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

That response would make me itchy because it’s so illogical, but maybe it’s a regionalism or something she picked up from someone else or her inscrutable shorthand for something else. It seems less unpleasant than just sheerly nonsensical. I think it’s a small annoyance that’s just built up for you because of the bitch-eating-crackers situation. 

Post # 12
2662 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

View original reply
annonybee2183:  this would grate on me too. It invalidates your authority takes away your power in your own home as far as I read it. Maybe I’m overreacting. FWIW my Mother-In-Law is a nice lady! I would have a tendency to respond lightly as PP mentioned with something non-aggressive like “oh, is that so!” From this you can gauge her reaction. If she’s purposefully undermining you then from therein if she continues I’d be very assertive at all times. “I know” “how could you know MIL? I only just decided it myself!”. If her own son has issue then I’d say you’ve got grounds. Yeah, good luck.

P.S. I know it wasn’t supposed to be funny but your first few sentences cracked me up! Visions of covert MILs across the world are stalking WB to get the dirt on their DILs were conjured! I know what you mean though. My Mother-In-Law keeps calling me DIL in a way that makes me assume she wants me to return the favour. I just can’t bring myself to do it even out of politeness. First name only. But like I say, she’s a nice lady who happens to drive me up the wall with her neuroses (I’m laid back but sure of myself overall) but I’d hate for her to see a wayward comment. I’d hate to offend her! I’m just really not one to be mothered, my own mother never mothered. Well, thanks for listening, lol!

Post # 14
742 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

It’s probably more of a ” I know youre trying to be as kind and generous as possible because you’re a sweetie and are kind and accommodating”, not just being rude like “Well, I figured you would bend to my motherly will.” 


Post # 15
555 posts
Busy bee

I feel similar about my Mother-In-Law. I generally like her but she does little things that annoy the hell out of me. And this behavior would annoy me too, lol! I think it is actually a quite rude response. A “Thank you” would be much more appropriate! I think her response can come of as condescending, depending on how she says it.

I would try to avoid making those offers or if you do make the offer add “But I bet you already know that!” 😉 

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