- 6 years ago
Soo my bday is coming up late in October. My SO is in the military and he told me a long time ago that he cannot come down on any normal weekend except three day weekends in the next few months due to orders from the commander, which I know to be true for everyone. But I also know there are sometimes — rarely– exceptions. I write all this to say, my bday falls on a 2-day weekend toward the end of Oct. We have plans to see each other on Columbus Day, but I know he won’t propose then, because he wants us to “be somewhere that we’ll actually be able to go back and visit again,” and we wont be out at his current military base again. Meaning, I should think he won’t propose in October at all, bc that’s our only “planned visit.” BUt I am wondering if he is throwing me off track to plan a surprise…
My best friend is in on the whole thing, and he told me that she knows EXACTLY when he’s proposing, although she is pretending not to. This is so frustrating to me, bc I want to confide in her about stuff, but I have been avoiding it because I’m afraid she’ll tell him what I know and they’ll change plans. So I am starting to think he MAY be planning to come down and surprise me with a proposal for my bday for the following reasons:
1. He freaked out when I said I might go home for my former roommates’ wedding on my bday weekend. (My parents are also in the middle of a nasty divorce so it’s possibly he might not want me to spend my bday in such a toxic environment..but..still.) He kept insisting that I should go to visit my best friend at her college for the weekend, which we had originally planned on. (her college by the way is a few hours away from me and very, very, close to the military base where he’ll be stationed at for the next few years. He was just very very insistent that I “shouldn’t go home” and must have mentioned 20 times in about two hours that I really need to go visit my best friend.
2. My best friend also “freaked out” although acted more cool about it. She texted me and said it was OK at first but then ended up calling me a few minutes later and “talking me into” skipping the wedding so I could come down. She kept talking about how the other friend wont care if I miss it and started talking about all these fun things we can do and really trying to persuade me to come..which is unlike her. She told me just a few days ago she had no idea what we’d do yet but is working on it. And, usually we’d just find a different weekend. Also, we’re both busy so usually we “schedule” our calls in advance and she rarely just calls me up like that and we talk for 1.5 hours. It seems like they may have been in cahoots about it today….although, it is a saturday, so maybe she was bored and had free time and just wants to see me (also knowing how bad my parents’ divorce is.)
3. Yesterday, he put me on hold and I overheard him tell his brother’s friend (while we were on the phone) that he was talking to his “soon-to-be fiancee.” His brother made some comment and then my SO whispered, “yeah, but I actually have the money now..”
4. I suggested buying a plane ticket to go visit him for my bday, which he would usually consider. But he completely shut me down and seemed angry I called him back to suggest that after he told me he cannot come down. He said “Everything is not what it seems” when I said my feelings are hurt that he doesnt want to see me for my bday. He also started saying “we just can’t afford for me to come out there” and when I offered to buy it he got mad and said “It is in your and our best interest if you just trust me and stop talking about it.’
5. He is still holding out hopes that we will get married Fall of next year, knowing I want a year or so to plan a wedding. My best friend was asking me a few weeks ago how soon he’d have to propose by to make that happen, because if he proposes November or later, it would be pushed to Spring 2014 because I dont want a winter wedding. My bday seems like one of his last chances to propose/really surprise me. AND it is the end of Oct. so he truly does have the possibility of having the $ saved by then. I knew he wouldn’t have it be Sept.
So I played it off and said I understand, there will be plenty more bdays etc. I also told my best friend today on the phone that I think it’s happening at Christmastime so she’ll hopefully report back to him that I dont suspect a thing..Am I making this into something it isnt or are some of these clues to a possible proposal? Honest opinions please!