(Closed) Honestly, am I being too controlling?

posted 7 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
167 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I think I would feel exactly the same as you!

but it’s just happened, I think after the dust settles you wont be so upset. Maybe tell him you dont mind if he stays the extra night, but ask him not to drink too much so he’s rested and ready for house hunting??

Post # 4
Hostess
23620 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

Aww…I understand these moments.  While you may be a little too controlling, I am sure lots of girls here can empathize fully with you.  It’s hard to swallow when Fiance decides to hang out with his friends a little longer rather than come home to house hunt with you, but I say cut Fiance some slack.  You only have one bachelor party, and houses will always be there.  Wow, that was really hard for me to say, especially since the house hunt is the main thing on Fiance and my minds these days!  But it’s true…you can always look at houses next weekend…

Post # 5
Member
5179 posts
Bee Keeper

I say you shouldn’t make a mountain out of a mole-hill. I don’t think you are being controlling but maybe he saw how understanding you were about him going both days and decided to go? You can always just reschedule with your realtor. 

Post # 6
Member
1253 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Asking your Fiance not to drink too much at a Bachelor party is like asking a kid not to go on rides at Disney World. It must really suck when plans are changed at the last minute, I know it’s my worst pet peeve ever. But I think you need to let him go and do his things with his friends, this isn’t like a normal weekend out, it’s a special occasion. You can look at houses anytime.

Post # 8
Member
395 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I agree with Craigshappygrl ….at first id say the same thing but once i thought about it for awhile….well plan change sometimes and really this isnt that big of a deal. I think maybe just talk to him about how this was a bit upsetting then move on and let him have his fun :). Dont stress! I mean unless he is ALWAYS doing this i would let this slide….it is his friends bachelor party after all ๐Ÿ™‚ they are only supposed to happen once….

Post # 9
Member
6021 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2017

@coffeegal85: Ok my first question is did he know that you had made the plans for you two with the realtor on sunday? if he did than I think it was a bit wrong for him to try and change his mind regarding the second night. If he did not know that you had made this appointment yet its possible he thought it would not be a big deal to change his mind about saturday. Also, is it possible to change the appointment with the realtor? the only reason I ask is because a bachelor party (while I know is just a glorified guys weekend) is a one time deal and is only happening this weekend where as a house hunting appointment can happen on any weekend where you two have time. Maybe its an option to change the appointment? it would make you look like a rather cool Fiance ๐Ÿ™‚ I do understand your frustration though. I would not say you are controlling but I would suggest maybe exploring all options and not having a split second reaction and answer. Either way, I hope it works out well for you ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 11
Member
592 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Yeah, it’s a crappy move. But I’d let it slide… after he promised to take me to my favorite restaurant for dinner on Sunday night to make up for it! ๐Ÿ˜‰

Post # 12
Member
1253 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I reread what I wrote and what you wrote, and something just seemed off to me. You keep saying that he was pressured by his friends, and yet in your first post you wrote, “I kept telling him – “are you sure you just want to go for the one day, it is fine if you go for both nights”.  ok well if it’s fine that he goes both nights, then why aren’t you letting him?? Really, things come up, people change their minds and plans change. It’s a part of life, and to answer your question yep I think you are being too controlling.

Post # 15
Member
592 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@coffeegal85: Uh, it’s a stag vs. looking at houses. One is substantially more important than the other and is a once in a lifetime event. I’ll let you guess which on it is.

You told him to go and now he is. There shouldn’t need to be a comprimise. Re-schedule with your realtor or go on your own. No big deal.

Post # 15
Member
167 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@coffeegal85:Ohhh that changes my opinion then. I meant not drink to oblivion on the second night, I fully expected them to get drunk the first! but if he’s drinking the whole weekend and then wont be home early enough sunday you will have to house hunt another time. I know you are disappointed and trust me, I would feel the exact same. But at this point, if he doesn’t stay the extra night he might be irritated the rest of the weekend and the house hunting could be a disaster anyway, so it might be best to go ahead and change it to the next weekend.

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