Honestly, is this tacky

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Hostess
10238 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2014 - Chicago, IL

Eh, I don’t think it’s tacky but I’d prefer if like 1 round of drinks was on the hosts or something.

Post # 3
Member
1854 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

View original reply
DrAtkins :  Seconded – maybe buy a few bottles of wine for the table if you’re worried?

If you mention to them it’ll be casual/low key, I think the general gist would be people pay their own way. But if it’ll cause stress don’t worry about it – from the sounds of things you’re already doing plenty.

Post # 4
Member
14019 posts
Honey Beekeeper

It’s always tacky to “invite” people to do anything if you don’t intend to pay. You can properly say you are having dinner at X restaurant the night before if anyone wants to join you there but I would probably not feel right about doing that either since hosting out of towners the night before has become so common. People may incorrectly assume you are paying. 

Personally, if I’m not being hosted to a dinner the night before, I would rather have the freedom to do other things. Even though it’s not mandatory, people may feel obliged.

Post # 5
Member
7989 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

IMO that sounds like a hosted thing. If this were me, I’d rather just do the rehearsal quick on wed and GTFO without dinner, and have you buy dinner on Friday if you want everyone together. Also, you don’t *need* to do the rehearsal at the venue. 

Post # 6
Hostess
10238 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2014 - Chicago, IL

View original reply
jellybellynelly :  I like this suggestion, too!

Post # 7
Member
47412 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

If the wedding party members able to attend the rehearsal dinner are not coming from out of town, but live near the venue, I would schedule the rehearsal dinner for the Friday night so everyone could attend. If you feel bad abandoning those who are rehearsing on Wednesday night, you could order in pizza for the smaller group.

Post # 8
Member
1496 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018 - Location

I would scrap the Wednesday rehearsal, it’s in the middle of the week and half your bridal party won’t be there.

Do it Friday night and pay!

Post # 9
Member
1489 posts
Bumble bee

Yehh a little bit tacky. Dinner can really be simple like pizza or BBQ at home but I think it’s better to provide it.

Post # 10
Member
14019 posts
Honey Beekeeper

I agree that you can keep it cheap and casual on Wed. and do the rehearsal dinner on Friday as an alternative. 

Post # 11
Member
93 posts
Worker bee

I would do the rehearsal somewhere else on a Friday.

You don’t need to be IN the actual venue to walk through the ceremony.  That way all of your Bridal Party members can participate.

Post # 12
Member
3234 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Yeah I would do the rehearsal somewhere else on Friday evening and then host a dinner after. 

Post # 13
Member
1136 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

Can you move the rehearsal dinner to Friday?

Post # 14
Member
1614 posts
Bumble bee

I think it is, yes.  I think hosts should cover the costs of events, especially wedding events.  Especially events people are traveling to in order to support you.  I agree with those that suggested a Friday rehearsal time.  

Post # 15
Member
4890 posts
Honey bee

Can just you, your fiance, and the officiant do your rehearsal on Wednesday at the venue if you wish and then you can do a run through somewhere Friday with your wedding party and hold your rehearsal dinner then? I mean, for pretty much everyone but you and the officiant, it’s walking in a straight line and standing silently in place.  They’ve been walking since they were two – they’ve got this.  It doesn’t require they be in exactly the same straight line they’ll be on the day and doesn’t require more than a few minutes of instruction – lots of people hold rehearsals elsewhere or don’t even have rehearsals.

Leave a comment


Find Amazing Vendors