Post # 1
Usually when I read most threads in every different category I see a trend… The couple had a wonderful beginning in the relarionship, “FI would never or has never done something like this”, or it was love at first sight, blah blah blah.
Well ladies that is wonderful & Im being honest, it really is. But what about those of us who didnt have a magical, dreamy start? Was it maybe a one night stand that led to more, maybe you broke up and decided to try again, or maybe some of you had only a sexual relationship before the real thing.
So dear bees, did any of you have a rocky start? What happened and why did you decide to give a second chance? Is it different now, do you regret it?
C’mmon ladies share your stories!!!
Post # 3
Haha, probably not what you are looking for exactly…but when Fiance first met me, I was in diapers. Like, baby diapers. He remembers it (he is older than me), glad I don’t!
And then I had a crush on him for like 12 years. Only after we each broke up with our deadbeat exes, and bonded over the fact that they were both expecting (unexpected) children, did we reconnect.
So not rough..but a long time coming :)Apparently there are pictures floating around with us playing musical instruments on pots and pans together.
Post # 4
@FoolsintheRain: Wow, that is an amazing story.
Post # 5
I had that.
At first Darling Husband wasn’t thrilled with the idea of a girlfriend, because he had never had one for real and he’s what you might consider a bit weird, he was the first to say “I love you” though.
It was rocky merely because there was a LOT of drama in my family and i would cry everyday because of that.
He stuck with me even in my worst moments 🙂
Post # 6
- Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY
FoolsintheRain, that’s awesome!!
Post # 7
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
I would not call it a rocky start but we did start up as a bar hook up through mutual friends. We both intensely disliked each other when we first met but by the end of the evening we were inseperable. I sent him a Facebook friend request the next day and we had out first official date a week later. A year and a half later we were engaged.
Post # 8
FH and I dated before. Twice. Both times in high school. We finally got back together my freshman year of college and made it work. Absolutely no regrets!
Post # 9
@FoolsintheRain: Wow, it always amazes me how people connect and bond with each other.
@anonbeeover9000: Glad he came around 🙂
Keep them coming ladies!
Post # 10
The first time my fiancé met me he thought I was a bitch. With a capital B. I think he said I kicked him and his roommates out of a party? Who knows that was probably 7 years ago….and I definitely don’t remember meeting him then 😉
Post # 11
Not really rocky, but it definitely wasn’t all sunshine and butterflies. We started out long distance, which is always tough ..and frustrating. And honestly it’s hard to grow in a relationship and really get to know the other person when you live 5 hours away!
Glad that phase is over.
Post # 12
- Wedding: March 2014 - Brazil Room
I had a SUPER rocky start. He and I got divorced at the same time (completely un-connected). I had a huge crush on him (was just a “friend” at this time), but he didn’t feel anything for me at all (he barely even liked me as a friend). I admitted how I felt during an opportune moment, and he turned me down flat cold and said he was going to start dating someone else soon anyway. They dated and he and I remained friends.
They broke up a million times during their short 1 year relationship which made me really hopeful! But he still had feelings for her that were really strong even after they broke up. He finally became interested in me, but didn’t cut off contact with her and certainly couldn’t shut off his heart for her. Then… power struggle… boundaries… etc etc. He was still in love with her for a long time after we started dating and doesn’t consider our relationship as long as I consider it to be. So we agree to disagree.
He was really immature when it came to relationships in part because his ex wife let him get away with whatever he wanted to and he never had to learn to be a better person. He didn’t want or feel the need to be a better person. Then he rebounded right into a relationship with that other girl. Then there I was… rebound #2. I worked with him through boundaries… rules.. communication (for both of us) and inch by inch we started to find happiness.
It finally took us taking a full month break without communication other than hand written letters, to really show us what we had. It was very romantic and helpful to voice concerns and express feelings (and for him to see what he was missing!!!).
We still bicker more than I’d like… but I’d rather bicker and actually SOLVE problems, then to have what I had in my past marriage where he would just blindly agree to avoid confrontation and then BAM I’m divorced and there was no saving it. It’s hard to write one of these without making it sound like it is all bad… and it certainly isn’t! But it was not even close to an easy start
Post # 13
Our first year was really hard. We decided to move in together after only a few months; my SO changed jobs twice; my dr. changed my birth control to one that made me crazy; I was getting ready to start grad school…we loved each other and knew we wanted to be together, but it seemed like all we did was fight. I lost 25 pounds in 2 months from the stress. About 9 months in we ended up breaking up for about two weeks–long enough to realize we didn’t want to throw everything away, but also a wake up call that we needed to find a new approach.
More than anything, I think we both needed to do some growing up and learn how to support each other while still being the (often very different) individuals that we are. We worked through it and now I honestly can say I feel more confident in our relationship and our future as a result. We’re really happy and completely in love–not always perfect, but we really are best friends and I think we both feel lucky to have found (built?) what we have now.
Post # 14
We had a rocky start for sure. We were friends in grad school first, but sometimes we got on each others nerves. I kind of stopped talking to him for a bit and dated around. When I acknowledged my feelings for him, he didn’t want to date, especially since I was thinking of moving after graduation. We were friends with benefits but I wanted more. It took a few months for him to catch up and take the plunge!
Post # 15
Well SO and I had a great start and then from 9 months to a year things were pretty rough. We broke up for 6 weeks (the longest and worst 6 weeks ever with zero contact) and decided to give it another try. We started couples therapy in April and he bought my ring last week 🙂 It wasn’t a perfect fairytale for us but we know now that what we have is worth fighting for. It won’t always be easy but it will be worth it! Sometimes going through those tough times breaks you and sometimes it makes you stronger.
Post # 16
Can I just say “yes” and not get into it? Is that allowed?