(Closed) Honestly – what did you expect from your Bridesmaids?

posted 4 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 4
2390 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I really expected NOTHING from them but to show up the morning of to get ready and come to the wedding.  I didn’t ask them to buy any particular dress (not even a specific color – I hate matchy matchy), and I paid for hair and makeup.  

Post # 5
2874 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

literally wear the dress i paid for and turn up. given one failed to do this (and turned up to first part of wedding in different dress) perhaps i expected too much hahaha

a bachelorette wasnt expected but i was delighted i had one

Post # 6
710 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I just want my bridesmaids to show up to my wedding. I gave them no chores or requirements pre-wedding. It’s just not my style to force things onto people… I’d rather they just enjoy themselves. I even got their dresses for them. 

Post # 7
606 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2014 - Brazil Room

The only thing I’m expecting from them is general friendship (I try to make wedding talk 50% or less of what I talk to them about). My Maid of Honor is my “reassurance specialist”. She’s been my bestie for years, so she knows how to deal with all my doubts and concerns. She knows she will have to give her opinion of pretty much everything to make me feel better lol

As for dresses, I’m letting them each choose their own for their comfort (just a specific color scheme). And so far the plan is to help each other with hair and makeup, but I may cave in as it gets closer to get a pro in to help out.

Post # 8
3281 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I expected them to show up at the wedding (obv.), and I knew they were planning a shower and bachelorette so that was expected since they mentioned it. Besides that, just having a good attitude and that’s enouhg! 

Post # 9
3103 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

beyond the obvious, I expected them (actually her, one did not accept my bridesmaid proposal) to be somewhat available during the planning. Not to necessarily help me do stuff, but I like to bounce ideas and I’m particularly sensitive to feeling alone/overwhelmed because I’m an ocean away from all my friends and family. Unfortunately, my MOH has not answered any of my calls going on 3 weeks now. I know her though and I’ve always known she sucks at keeping in touch, but still…

Post # 10
2775 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Show up clean and sober in the dress they chose (and I paid for).

Post # 11
1583 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@MsGinkgo:  I did not expect them to do anything but show up and wear a dress. I was lucky because they threw me a shower and bachelorette, but I did not expect that. The only thing that bummed me out a little bit was that they were all really shy and did not want to make speeches at the RD, but again, I didn’t expect that.

Post # 12
1626 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

1). Buy a reasonably priced dress of my/our choosing.

2). Show up the day of the wedding, on time.

3). Attend the rehearsal dinner.

4). Take pics & have a great time!

Post # 13
750 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I expect a bachelorette party! My MOH knew this from day one and has since collaborated with other BMs 🙂 other than that nothing really

Post # 14
4524 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Let me tell you what I *wouldnt* expect from them:

-a shower

-a bachelorette party

-do wedding-related “chores” with me

-drop everything in their lives to “celebrate MY wedding year because I’M the bride, damnit!!!!’


What I would expect:

-please wear your dress

-if you must drink beforehand, please keep it to a partybuzz


And, MOST importantly:

-give me *reality checks* Do not blow smoke up  my ass if I’m acting like a lunatic.

Post # 15
527 posts
Busy bee

I expected:

  • for them to buy the dress
  • a nice bridal shower which they all would come to
  • a fun bachelorette which they all would come to
  • for them to spend the night at my house, and then do our hair/makeup in the morning
  • them to show up at the wedding, stay the whole time, and have fun

I got:

  • 2 bought the dress, 3 of them, either I purchased fabric for the dress or I bought the dress
  • 2 of my bridesmaids showed up the my shower, and it was nice
  • 1 of my bridesmaids took me to Vegas for my bachelorette, and it was really fun
  • 2 of my bridesmaids spent the night, the rest showed up in the morning
  • 3 of my bridesmaids stayed the whole wedding, and 1 of them had a major fight with her boyfriend at my wedding.

I do not speak to one of the girls anymore.  Two were either my sister / SIL, so I have to see them.  One was my BFF (who was amazing), and the last one I see sometimes, but she is kindof MIA most of the time.

Post # 16
5480 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I expected them to pick and purchase a dress (I selected a color, and told them to get whatever style/material/price they wanted).

I expected them to show up on time, clean, in the aforementioned dress, and at least halfway sober to the wedding.

I did not expect them to:

-go out and purchase new shoes (asked them to wear black shoes which most of them already owned)

-have hair or make-up done professionally

-throw or contribute to any pre-wedding events or parties

-help with wedding DIY crafts or projects


Luckily, since I selected my nearest and dearest gal pals to stand up with me, most of them offered to help with invitation addressing, favor assembling, and dress shopping.  They were also kind and generous enough to throw me a low-key bach/bridal evening.  I considered those things to be above and beyond their “Bridesmaid Duties” but very typical of the sort of thing any of them would have done as friends, bridesmaid or not.

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