(Closed) Honey fund?

posted 5 years ago in Honeymoons
Post # 3
Member
3053 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

Most bees will say that it’s not a good idea to ask for cash. To me, as long as you don’t promote that you want cash or that you have a honey fund, it’s no big deal. Maybe put it under a “gift options” tab on your website or something, that way if people aren’t LOOKING SPECIFICALLY to figure out what to gift you, they won’t see it. Also by not registering (from what I’ve read), people are likely to get the hint that you want cash.

I didn’t do a honey fund but I’m sure there are plenty out there and they’re probably quite successful. Just tell a parent or something that you’re doing this so that if someone asks them what to get you, they can pass along the info

Post # 4
Member
348 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Please do not do this.  People you invite to your wedding will give you what they want, and most adults understand that cash is a very desireable wedding gift, especially if you are not registered elsewhere.

All a honeyfund is, is a direction to deposit money into a bank account. The fact that you are using such money to go on a honeymoon… or cure cancer… doesn’t matter.  It’s a rude concept, and lots and lots of people on here will try to rationalize it in anyway they can.  But trust and believe, people will be put off by it — they just won’t say it to you.

 

Post # 5
Member
1061 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

@FutureMrsLAL:  I completely disagree. I went to a wedding a few years ago that had this concept and I thought it was a great idea if that’s what you are into. What’s the difference between registering for a honeymoon and registering for something else? Personally, when I go to a wedding, I would like to give something that the bride and the groom want- whether that be cash, a new set of plates, or money toward their honeymoon. 

 

Setting up a honeyfund doesn’t mean that people have to use it. If someone wants to go out and buy a present then they will. Others, like me, will prefer to give the bride and groom what they asked for- in this case it will helping them celebrate their marriage with a great honeymoon that they may otherwise not be able to afford.

 

I also think it’s a bit strange to classify something like a honeymoon and cancer in the same category… 

 

 

 

Post # 6
Member
2359 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@FutureMrsLAL:  hmmmm so then why aren’t actual gift registries considered the same??  You are asking for specific gifts.  Why not just give the couple something they really want/need.  Why is it only acceptable for actual gifts From a store?   

There is nothing wrong with honeymoon funds.  We did one and it went over really well and our guests loved the idea.

Post # 7
Member
1077 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Greenbrier Country Club

I’d say go for it. If that’s what you want, make it known. Sure etiquette is against it, but who cares! We live in a new age. Ultimately, the wedding is a celebration of you and your FH. 

I went to a wedding before i knew much about wedding anything, and I asked the bride, “hey what do you want me to get you?” She said, “My FH and have everything we need.” and i was sooo confused. I got her a fondue pot. :/ Which i feel horrible about now because apparently she was hinting at me giving money. I soooo would have given her money if I knew that’s what she wanted. I didn’t know because I was not aware of any wedding common knowledge. Don’t assume people will know.

So i say, be bold, and be blunt.
Enjoy YOUR wedding, and do what you want 🙂 

Post # 8
Member
669 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@FutureMrsLAL:  +1

 

In addition, Honeyfund takes a slice off the top of the money. You’re tricking people to give you cash and you’re not even getting their full gift. Just make a small home gift registry and people will figure out you want cash. Not that hard.

Post # 9
Member
8 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@Moosemaybite: Hi, I have also been looking into setting up a honeymoon fund for me and my Fiance. I originally thought that honeymoon registries were a bit tacky but the more I started researching the more my eyes were opened. If you really think about it, what is the difference btwn asking for a bunch of household items or asking for things to be used on your honeymoon? If you do it right I think you should have no problem. I mean, let’s face it, honeymoons are expensive and if you don’t need household items why can’t you register for something that you do need/want? I found TravelersJoy.com honeymoon registry and there’s seems to be the most personal and least tacky of all the sites. The way the site is designed it doesn’t just ask for cash it lets you put experiences or specific items for you honeymoon on a website and allows your guests to contribute to the costs as they choose.  The downside of their site is they take 7% off of the top, however they do allow you to make a personalized page with a picture slide show and write all about your honeymoon plans to get your guests involved.   The website gives you all kinds of FAQs and answers a lot of the questions about how to transfer $$ into your own account. Other free honeymoon registry sites are out there but they aren’t as nice (from what I have seen anyway). Also, I think it is a good idea to have a small home registry as well that way your guests can have options. Hope this helps!

 

Post # 10
Member
132 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I think it’s fine, but a lot of people (particularly older and more traditional people) will think it’s tacky. I’d suggest you run the idea by some of your friends and family to test it out and see how they react.

Post # 11
Member
746 posts
Busy bee

 I recently saw a client who just put a Pay Pal button on her wedding website, and cringed! A honeymoon registry, when done right, can be very tasteful. 

Post # 12
Member
411 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

We have one, and while our invites haven’t gone out yet, we’ve gotten a good reception for it in general from those who have seen it. I have the same views as several people here – I want to get the couple something that THEY want, because what is more tacky, contributing some money or getting them a blender that they’ll return for store credit anyway?

 

I think of the 7% that they take out for their profit as sales tax. People would pay it on store-bought items anyway, and their 7% goes toward presenting a professional website that people feel safe and comfortable using. And it feels more like giving an experience than giving cash when people can “see” what they are contributing toward. Doubly so when you send a picture of what they helped “buy” with your thank-you notes. 

 

For people like my grandmother who I KNOW won’t use the internet or call to buy it over the phone, I registered for a few items at Target like a nicer duvet cover than I would ever buy for myself, a Keurig, a huge food processor, a vitamix, stuff like that. But I think most of my family and friends will end up using the honeymoon registry because it’s just so much easier for them.

Post # 13
Member
1935 posts
Buzzing bee

we did! We did both a traditional registry and a honeyfund. We got a few gifts through the honeyfund, a bunch of cash gifts and then also gifts off our registry. I really liked the idea because in my family people don’t really like to give cash.. they like hte give something tangible. It was nice too because in my thank-you cards I could tell them about the trip and how their gift was used.

Post # 14
Member
404 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@citysparkle:  +1000000000

 

 

@RockStar33:  +100000000

 

I really don’t get the difference either.   In both a honeyfund and traditional registry, you’re telling people what you want.  If people don’t want to get you things on either, that’s fine too, but both options just make it known what you are looking for.

 

I’d much rather give a friend an experience than an item anyways!

Post # 15
Member
2604 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@Moosemaybite:  I feel honeymoon and other cash registries are in extremely poor taste. 

If you don’t need “stuff” don’t register – most people will give you cash anyway. 

Post # 16
Member
2604 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@FutureMrsLadolcetta:  The difference is that a traditional wedding registry is intended to help a couple set up housekeeping with items they need to furnish their new home – its not a free for all wish list. 

The problem comes when couples start treating their guests like a source of income that they can direct any which way they please.  That’s incorrect and inappropriate.  If you don’t want traditional wedding gifts then don’t register for them.  The up side is you’ll likely get cash anyway.

Its unseemly to say that you’re blessed to have all that you need and more for your household but then turn around and beg people for cash so you can go on a luxury vacation. 

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