(Closed) Honeyfund, anyone use it? anyone have better?

posted 4 years ago in Honeymoons
Post # 31
Member
107 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

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whnlz :  I 100% agree with you.

Post # 32
Member
13943 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I don’t like them.  If I want to give you money as a gift, I want to give you the full amount, not 97.5% of my gift and giving extra money to a random company.  I also don’t like to be asked for cash as I find that to be very rude.  Honeyfunds are laughed at in my social circle and people who have done them are the recipient of lots of jokes/comments.  If your social circle is different, perhaps it will go over better, but you need to know there are many people who find these horribly gauche.

I almost always gift cash/checks at weddings and don’t need to be told that people like money. 

Post # 33
Member
15279 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

 

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JiminyCricket :  All of this.

I give cash 99% of the time.  One of the very few times I didn’t, I would have, but didn’t cause there was a honeyfund link printed on the invitation with some cutesy shit poem… so I decided to do the physical gift instead. 

Post # 34
Member
1570 posts
Bumble bee

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Morgan Daguison :  I find Honey Funds tacky and rude and grabby.

Post # 35
Member
2853 posts
Sugar bee

I find them tacky to infinity squared and back.

Post # 36
Member
2849 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

OP ignore all the haters. People love to hate on others because they didn’t register for dumb things like blenders and china and that stupid crap no one needs.

I did a honeymoon registry but used Wanderable. It was great, people liked it. And those who didnt gave us cash, no harm done.

Post # 37
Member
13722 posts
Honey Beekeeper

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whnlz :  Well, in reality you are right.  Registries are almost always set up for the purpose of soliciting gifts. Which is exactly why I said traditional etiquette doesn’t buy the polite fiction and frowns on all registries. While some etiquette sources, for example Emily Post, now approve both. 

But it’s a possible use and the only way to reconcile how rude and unacceptable it would otherwise be to suggest or encourage gifts. It’s a polite fiction no different than the way it’s OK to have a simple link on a wedding website, while including it in or on the invitation is considered a rude faux pas. 

The website, like the registry is theoretically considered arms length and third hand, although most people make it pretty obvious who wrote it. Same difference.

But if you aren’t into the idea of polite fictions then none of this will sit right. I did not register, personally. People managed to figure it out just fine on their own without my input. Most gave checks, and some gave gifts. 

Post # 38
Member
739 posts
Busy bee

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pinkshoes :  Personally I find it more rude that you bought a gift for someone, not to show love or friendship, but to spite them for having a honeymoon fund.

Post # 39
Member
15279 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

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whnlz :  They don’t know that, so no big deal.  (Plus, I’m not the biggest fan of this person but I was obligated to go so you’re kinda spot on with that).  That’s fine by me if you think that anyways, doesnt bother me at all.

Post # 41
Member
1724 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

Again it depends on your friends, family, and social circle.  My friends had no issues with it, and while some of it came out as a cash distribution, we did use it exactly as we’d listed it – to help with the photos and DVD package, and then we got adds ons sent to our room and sent photos of our gifts.  We were not going to have showers of anything, but friends insisted, and wanted to know what we needed.  So this was the easiest way to deal with that question in the modern age.  One couple DID register, and her very large family all got her crock pots, none of which were on the registry.  So, you can register to give people and idea what you need/want, and they are still free to totally ignore it.  

I don’t see any difference in a day and age where most couples don’t NEED supplies to set up a brand new household (the original use for wedding gifts) and are often coming together with a surplus of towels and toasters, and they still register for upgrades to bakeware, ask for cash, or put up a honeymoon fund.  How the former is acceptable but the latter is greedy I can’t figure.  You asked what I wanted/need?  I told you.  The ball is in your court, to gift or not gift.  Anyway, OP, do what you feel works for you.  We also had a tiny amazon wish list for small items for people who wanted us to unwrap something (again, at a friend’s insistence – I’d have not set either registry up otherwise).  

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