Post # 1
Hello, ladies! I am requesting your honest opinions about a Honeyfund registry. My fiance and I are paying for our DIY wedding ourselves and our guest list is about 175 due to large families. We own our home and have been fortunate over the years to accumulate most items you would find on a gift registry so I have no need for one. The budget for a honeymoon is next to zero so I am considering a Honeyfund registry, but know very little about the etiquette. Is it poor taste? Help! All opinions, thoughts, advice would be GREATLY appreciated! thank you, Erica.
Post # 3
Nope not poor taste at all IMO but opinions differ throughoout the world!
We are having one. In our invites I simple explain that we are moving country within a few weeks after the wedding and we have no way or transporting all our personal possessions. If they would like to give a gift then a honeymoon donation would be greatly appriciated.
Post # 4
@FutureMrsVeit: Yes, honymoon/cash registries are in extremely poor taste. Begging for cash from your friends and family should not be an option for people fortunate enough to own their own home and have everything they need. Asking for “donations” as if one is a charity or destitute would he humiliating. Asking for “donations” to fund a luxury vacation more so.
Don’t register at all. Most people will likely give you cash that you can then use any way you wish.
Post # 5
If you don’t register, a lot of people will likely give you money anyway.
Post # 6
@FutureMrsVeit: This has the potential to blow up 🙂 lol.
Personally, I hate these things. I don’t feel like it’s my problem to pay for someone else’s honeymoon. I always give money at a wedding anyway (between $150 to $500, depending on how much I like you) and I would just hate to be asked to do it. I love to give, but not when it’s expected or I’m asked to. If someone had this as the only option, I would want to give them nothing – meaning I wouldn’t attend.
I am in the same boat as you – I don’t need anything from a registry. My friends and family know that though, so most will give us money. There are a few items I’ve put on a registry that I would never buy for myself, but want (like a waffle maker! Oh, I hope someone gets me that). I just think it is poor taste to actually ask for money, which a honeyfund does.
It all depends on your social circle and region though. I’ve heard these things are typical in some areas (I have never seen one, thank god).
Post # 7
@Zhabeego: +1. I am so glad someone agrees with me. Last time I made a comment like this on a honeyfund thread, everyone wanted to kill me!
Post # 8
I wouldn’t do it, it’s in poor taste.
Post # 9
We were thinking of doing one. I like how they were laid out–guests could buy you an excursion on a cruise (for example) or a hotel night, etc.
However, we opted not to do it realizing that most people would gift cash anyway and the honey funds are more restrictive regarding travel plans.
So we will be doing a limited registry for truly “us” items (e.g., one set of dinnerware instead of the “his” and “mine” we’ve been using), and we’ll let them gift what they want.
I suspect with us being older, having been together for so many years, and owning a house, etc., some will not be giving a gift at all.
Post # 10
We did a honeyfund and our wedding guests LOVED it! I did a lot of research before, and the bee has always been a split on this issue. We had so many compliments about the registry! We made it clear on our page that we’d booked our honeymoon, and were registering for “extras”, like excursions, etc.
If anyone is uncomfortable using it, they simply won’t, so I suggest a small registry at a store, like we did. Good luck!
Post # 11
I thought about doing this but in the end we didn’t register anywhere. We ended up getting all cash/checks.
Post # 12
Well I would not contribute to one.
Post # 13
Honestly, I don’t think its necessary. If you wedding is in NJ, very few people will give you physical gifts, its much more common to give cash gifts anyway.
Post # 14
Honestly, I don’t like honeymoon registries. At all. But, my Future Mother-In-Law and Future Sister-In-Law asked me to make one for their side of the family. FI’s family lives in Iowa and we’re going there in a couple of weeks to visit. During this time my Future Sister-In-Law, who is my Maid/Matron of Honor, is throwing us a shower. Since there is no way we’ll be able to carry gifts back home with us (we’re flying) they thought that a honeymoon registry would still allow people to give “gifts.” For whatever reason, his family doesn’t really like to give cash (though to me its still giving cash, only its supposedly designated for the honeymoon)and they don’t like to send gifts through the mail (kinda weird, I know…). Whatevs.
I don’t think most people like them, though to be honest with you almost none of FI’s relatives have even heard of them before. I mentioned it to my parents and they hadn’t heard of them either. Pretty much everyone we have explained it to has responded positively so I don’t feel too bad about it. Also, I don’t have it listed on our wedding website so its not going to be a gift option for our local friends/family.
Post # 15
thank you for your prompt responses! i have been on the fence about it, leaning more towards NO, and i will go with my gut instinct. in all honesty, a honeymoon isn’t something super important or that must happen immediately following the wedding. i don’t really care if we have to wait a year or 10. it was just a topic i wanted opinions on so thank you for helping me understand it a little better. you will definitely see me posting more in the upcoming months as i will need DIY ideas & help… we have a very tight budget, my parents are unable to contribute at all and our guest list is large so there will be no planner or coordinator. we may be fortunate to have a house and some of the fixings, but by no means will i be having a luxurious or extravagant wedding.
Post # 16
I see them all the time in the UK, personally don’t like them and I often buy a physical gift of my choosing anyway. The ones I don’t mind so much are when you buy them an “experience” like a previous poster mentionned – ie dinner one night, an excursion etc. Then they know that that was their gift from me, even though technically it is still money.