(Closed) Honeymoon 6mo later?!?!

posted 8 years ago in Honeymoons
Post # 21
Member
450 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

The type I’m referring to is women (full grown adults, at that) who EXPECT others to pay for their honeymoon or any other wedding expense. This is the stereotypical bride that the rom-coms depict, but who are fictional and exaggerated and hard to find in real life. You shouldn’t expect other people to pay for your expenses. If someone offers, great-but you don’t just expect it.

 

Also, an add-on to that type is the brides who get married in secret (assumption on my part-perhaps everyone invited to the ‘wedding’ knows they are coming to a party, and not to see two people get married) and then have a greedy gift-grabbing party to fulfill their princess fantasy. Except in the case of military service-members who are under different circumstances than civilians, I don’t understand getting married, and then having a wedding later on for the sake of having a wedding.

 

You flat-out said that you expected his parents to pay for the honeymoon, and you are already married but having a princess party months later. 

Post # 22
Member
1075 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013 - Vine Street Church

@VivienMarcheline:  +1000000 on everything you said. I guess your honeymoon is actually going to be a year and a half after your wedding because CONGRATS! You’re already married, and having a fake ceremony eight months later isn’t going to change that fact. You’re a wife now, not a bride.

But when it comes to honeymoons, we are having ours about four months after our one-and-only wedding. We needed the padding between the two to have time to plan and pay for the honeymoon, as we paid for our own wedding and honeymoon.

Post # 23
Member
1336 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

My dh and I got married 2 months ago and have not had a honeymoon or planned one yet. Planning the wedding was so hectic that we both couldn’t stomach the thought of planning another big event. Hopefully we will get to take a little trip sometime this year. I don’t see what the big deal is with people being heartbroken to not go immediately after the wedding… Dh and I were both so relieved that it was over we were ready to get back to normal life. 

Post # 24
Member
2152 posts
Buzzing bee

I think you can take a trip whenever you want.  But, I don’t think it is a honeymoon.

You can celebrate Christmas in July, but that doesn’t make it Christmas.

But take a trip whenever you want.  Please don’t ever beg people to pay for anything ever again.  It is very unbecoming of a wife. This isn’t some shocking revelation.  Every kid is told you don’t ask other people to buy you stuff.  When uncle Bob comes to visit, you don’t ask him to get you the squirt gun you want.  Just because you are getting married, doesn’t mean you get to buck being polite.  It’s getting married, not something earth shattering, or awesome.  People do it every day.

I think the part that is often overlooked in these situations, is that it’s not that someone is required to pay for x,y,z.  But that traditionally they have the privilege of offering to host x, y,z.  That the grooms family get’s first kick at it.  But that they aren’t required in any way to pay.  But should they offer they get to do that first.

 

Post # 28
Member
1099 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

You should plan whatever you want, but plan on paying for it.

Post # 29
Member
1589 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

@graste:  I’ve always heard the groom pays for the honeymoon, but maybe that’s a regional thing.  I don’t think you should assume anyone else will pay for it, but if they offer, by all means accept! We will be having our honeymoon after our actual wedding, but Fiance is in grad school and can’t miss a week of classes.  Our choices are Christmas break, spring break, or summer break, and I’m hoping for sooner rather than later (we are getting married in November 2014).  If it’s too far in the future, then I would worry we aren’t really newlyweds anymore and it would be a vacation more than a honeymoon.  I have a pair of friends who took their honeymoon 9 months after their wedding (in Italy) and it was very much their honeymoon for them.

Your case is a little different, because you are already married.  A lot of guests get offended when they are invited to a “wedding” that is really actually a “vow renewal” because you are already married.  Of course, there are exceptions- my step-sister secretly married her boyfriend before he was sent to the war in Iraq, and we had a wedding when he came home- but she was open and honest about it and everyone understood. 

As a guest, I would not be as understanding about you getting married so that you have your new last name when you start a new job. I personally don’t think it’s a good idea to lie to your guests about your wedding and not tell them you are already married and deceive them into thinking they are attending a “wedding.” If you want to lie to your guests, that’s your business, but if the truth about your marriage and vow renewal doesn’t bother you, then why wouldn’t you be honest about it? It seems like the only reason you would keep quiet is because you are ashamed about it or know some people would be disappointed.

Post # 30
Member
1835 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

We’re heading to Bora Bora in 3 weeks, but we got married in September. We’ve had to move our honeymoon twice already (our poor travel agent) because of my husbands job. It’s not the best time to go but in my husband’s line of work, we can’t plan 6 months in advance, we take trips when we can. I was worried it wouldn’t feel like a honeymoon because it’s months after our wedding but now that we’re starting to pack, I’m getting excited! 

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